Heard it on the Podcast - December 3, 2025

  

 

 

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

3-DEC-2025

S5E49: Winter Bucket List

In this episode, we dive into the cozy art of crafting winter bucket lists—intentional, inspiring collections of activities designed to spark joy, relaxation, and personal growth during the colder months. From simple seasonal pleasures to meaningful projects that warm the soul, we explore how a thoughtfully curated list can help you embrace winter with purpose, presence, and play. Join us as we share ideas, stories, and strategies to keep the season fun, fulfilling, and full of possibility.

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Here are the links from this episode:

• Krystal Idunate + Instagram Post
• Bookmory
• LibIb

Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

What Am I Afraid Of?

 

Yesterday, Christen challenged us to think about living fearlessly and what that might mean. When I look back on my life, I see countless examples of how I’ve let fear influence my decisions and prevent me from living up to my potential – from living my best life. Too often, I’ve settled for the safe bet, or I’ve stayed quiet when I should have spoken up and let my voice be heard. I gave in, gave up, and gave away my power and my trust to people who didn’t deserve it. In the end, I found myself hurt, alone, confused, and even more afraid.

Fear takes away our power. Fear informs our body and mind how we should behave. It affects our internal organs, our mental acuity, and even our immune system. If we let it, fear can dominate us in ways no other emotion or entity can. We’ve all heard of “Fight, Flight, or Freeze,” right? Recently, experts have added a fourth response, which is “fawn,” when a person resorts to becoming servile to another out of fear. I think I can honestly say I have experienced all four at one time or another, but I lean toward freeze or fawn. I freeze when I feel I am in physical danger, and I fawn over relationships with my close family. If I freeze when I hear a weird noise in the house, maybe the intruder will think I’m asleep and will leave me be – something that started when I was a child. With my family, it happens when I’m afraid of an argument – afraid that they will shut me out of their lives or turn against me if I do or say something wrong – also a trauma response from childhood. That fear, that fawning, can sometimes make me appear clingy or oversensitive. However, that same fear also has a shadow side.

According to psychotherapist Ailey Jolie, “When we don’t feel safe, we reach for control,” and that is precisely what I have done for many years. Whenever I felt insecure or afraid in one area of my life, that’s when I began to exert more control in another. Fearful that my children are drifting away from me emotionally? Let’s schedule some specific family events to make sure it doesn’t happen. Afraid of the political climate we live in? I’ll be careful about what I say and do, and prepare for the worst. And that controlling behavior doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with whatever it is we are afraid of – just being able to control something makes us feel like we’ve taken back our power. Thus, such passive-aggressive habits include binge eating, making a sudden decision to cut one’s hair short, or even just rearranging the furniture. 

It’s natural to feel fear. It is a human response to a physical situation. It’s meant to protect us from danger. But as neurologically advanced beings, we have evolved to perceive additional threats that are more abstract and intangible. Our brains actually look ahead to perceive potential threats, as well as real ones. Our internal warning system starts playing a game of “what if,” and before long, our body begins reacting to those signals in the same way it does when faced with clear and present physical danger. Stress is just one of those reactions. Anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, manic behaviour, and even depression can all be triggered by those thought processes. Fear is not meant to be a constant state of hyper-vigilance. It’s designed to give us that quick, immediate notification that we need to be aware of and prepare to act on something in our environment.

Notice I said “act,” not “react.” Rather than letting that fear take over and control us, we need to learn to identify it as it happens and use our higher brain functions to determine the best response. We must face our fears with open eyes, acknowledge them, and let them go before we act. It’s challenging, but it’s definitely possible if you are mindful. Licensed therapists often use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Exposure Therapy to treat patients who are dealing with unresolved fear and other mental and emotional disturbances – the same techniques we use on ourselves when we practice self-care, shadow work, and even goal-setting. In every case, the first and most critical step in conquering our fear is identifying it. We must learn to recognize fear when it happens, and we must determine exactly what it is that we are actually afraid of – name it and claim it. Only then can we learn to put it in its proper place.

Since my husband’s passing, I’ve made a conscious effort to notice when fear is taking over. I try to ascertain (through meditation or listing) what it is I’m afraid of and why. When I find myself slipping into “control freak” mode, I try to relax and let things unfold naturally. I consider worst-case scenarios and logically decide whether it is something I need to worry about or can allow to progress. I try to remember that my children have their own lives and are going to make their own mistakes, no matter what I might do to help them avoid it, and that my trauma experiences aren’t necessarily going to play out in their lives just because it’s what happened in mine. I am learning to trust that the love we share is not being withdrawn, even when they try to exert their own control by manipulating my emotions. And, most importantly, I have to continue living my own life to the fullest, even if I feel like I am completely and utterly alone.

Choosing Joy Over the To-Do List

 

In July, I decided to try something different. I was tired of feeling like I never got to do anything creative or have any fun. I’ve mentioned on this blog that it’s been a rough few years here in the Murray household: deaths, illness, a revolving door of family moving in and out, COVID, job loss, and so many significant changes that even I can’t keep track of them all. Through it all, I’ve tried to stay creative. I’ve maintained my Thursday craft day (mostly), and I still go on retreats with my besties to quilt and scrapbook, but it never feels like enough. And if you look closely, you’ll note that all of those crafty times occurred when I was with other people – rarely when I was on my own at home. Why? Because I felt guilty.

It is a long-standing tradition of mine to beat myself up for not being productive enough or not getting enough done. I start my day with a long list of things I “need” to do, and I often stay up into the wee hours of the morning trying to get through them, although I never do. I have a friend who often tells me I do too much. She’s right, but it’s not by choice, and sometimes there’s not a lot I can do about it. I am a 60-year-old widow, and the responsibilities of running my home fall squarely on me. Feed the dog? Me. Take out the trash? Me. Do the laundry? Wash the dishes? File the taxes? Pay the bills? All me. I won’t bore you with a list of all the things I have to do in a day before I can sit down to edit a podcast episode or write a blog. Forget about starting a new craft project or some other hobby…I can barely (not!) keep up with the ones I have now.

In January and again in June, I wrote in my blog (No Time for Hobbies and Mid-Year Goal Refresh, respectively) about making time for things. I stand by my statement that we make time for the things that are important to us. So if I’m not making time for my hobbies, or worse yet, myself, then my own self-care must not be all that important to me, right? I want to yell, “No, no, no!”

So, taking a bit of my own advice, I started allowing myself to be done for the day…to let go of the mile-long list of shoulds and spend an hour or two relaxing and doing something I enjoy. When my granddaughter came for a visit, we dragged out our Diamond Dots® and watched movies. I actually did more movie watching than diamond painting, but that’s not the point. I was reminded that this was a craft that I found relaxing, and I hadn’t done it for a long time. Then, a couple of weeks later, I pulled it out again, and pretty soon, I was working on my diamond painting every chance I could get. And you know what? I felt less stressed. Okay, so maybe I didn’t get one or two of the things on my list done that day, but so what? I felt less stressed! That’s huge! 

This week on the podcast, we are talking about hobbies, specifically about trying new ones. This one wasn’t a new one for me, but it was one I hadn’t enjoyed in a very long time, and I’m excited to make the time to have fun and do something I liked instead of just working myself until it was time to go to bed. I’ve made a promise to myself that I will spend at least a few minutes every night doing something I love, even if I don’t finish something that I should do. I finished my diamond painting tonight, and I can’t wait to decide which one I want to do next. Maybe, just maybe, I can find a little time to try some of the other hobbies I mentioned on the show.

Journaling to Clear Your Mind and Uplift Your Spirit

 

This week on the podcast, we talked about self-care and how it can mean a million different things. Amber asked Christen and I what we do for self-care, and I mentioned that I like to journal. Journaling has always been an important way for me to deal with stress and past trauma. By allowing myself to express any intense emotions, I am able to clear my head, get things off my chest, see situations more clearly, and, often, realize that things are quite as bad as they seem. I love to write, so telling the stories that make me who I am is important to me. Journaling is easy to do; anyone can do it. All you need is a pen and some paper. Or a computer if you’d rather type.

Another form of journaling I do is art journaling. I’ve mentioned before that I have participated in a 365 project that was essentially creating art inside the pages of a published book. It was meant to be a year-long project that had me completing one page every day, but it came to a screeching halt about halfway through, and I’ve been adding to it sporadically ever since. I’ve posted all the pages I’ve done to date on my Flickr account if you’re curious.

In 2022, I started keeping an affirmation journal. It all started when Amber gifted me with a set of Mindful Messages cards, which I’ve also mentioned previously. The messages inspired me to keep a journal of affirmations, which I illustrated by using some of my extensive collection of rubber stamps (and a few hand-drawn images). It was a great way to encourage me to be creative and to use some of the stamps that had never been used before. After I exhausted the Mindful Messages cards several times over, I started looking for affirmations from other sources. I have loved creating positive messages for myself, and I think this little book will be a great asset when I need a little reminder that I am enough.

This year, I plan to complete the affirmation journal since there are still about 20 pages left in the book, but I probably won’t work on it daily. Instead, I think I might just go back to my regular journaling where I decompress my day and dig into some things from my past. I think it will help me let go of some burdens and baggage that have been weighing me down. It’s time to lighten my load.

What about you? Do you do any creative or journaling projects as part of your self-care routine? I’d love to hear about it. Comment below, or join us on the MMC Chat page!

Taking a Deeper Dive into Self-care

This week we are talking about all things self-care on the blog and podcast. This is a subject that I could just talk and talk or (write and write) on and on about. I hope you got to listen to the podcast on Wednesday; I think that it is one that anyone could benefit from. Many people think of self-care as pampering yourself with manicures, facials and beautification. It can be those things, if that is what you need, but it can be so much more if you are willing to take the deep dive inwards.  

One of my favorite categories of self-care is personal development or self improvement. When I think of personal development, I think of setting goals, educating myself, and holding myself up to a certain standard or personal expectation. In the practice of selecting a word of the year, I give myself a goal to develop myself within the construct of the multiple definitions of that word. My objective for my word is for it to elevate my life in those areas. 

In keeping with the idea that the word is intended as a self-care tool, I recommend choosing a word that is unstinting. Any practice of self-development that does not uplift you is not good self-care. Pay attention to the programs, videos, tips and advice floating around out there on the internet. If it is not designed to nurture you, it could be harmful to your self worth. You may be choosing a program that encourages you to look inward with feelings of self doubt, shame, or feelings of failure to accomplish.

The past few years, I have picked words with my One Little Word project that encouraged me to change my behavior, reprogram some of my less favorable habits, and work hard to improve myself. This year, however, I wanted to choose a word that allowed me to pamper myself, rather than challenge my boundaries. I found that last year and the years before, I was inadvertently using my word to beat myself up about something that I was not. For example, I chose the word change in 2018. That year, I did encounter many changes in my life. Ultimately, I was disappointed when I came out at the end of the year as the same person, and I shouldn't have felt that way. Another fellow One Little Word participant mentioned that these types of words are abusive words, and I can agree! If someone else was telling me to be this word change, I would not appreciate their advice and I would be hurt that they would insist on me changing who I was. If they encouraged me to adapt, evolve, flex, modify or adjust, I might take their advice with a little hopefulness, instead of begrudging them.

With that being said, and all my resentment over my word Rise in 2022, I came to a quick and easy determination – I wanted a fun word this year! For 2023, I specifically chose a word that I believe encourages me to go easier on myself. I selected Enjoy this year as it has many facets, and I can incorporate it within many focal areas of my life: home, work, family, friends, and physical health, to name a few. I would like to think that Enjoy is an easy-going, fun word, but there is also room within the word to work on my mindset.

I am sure that you all are familiar with our segments on the podcast in which we reviewed Eckart Tolle’s “A New Earth”. One of the major takeaways for me was living in the now, and not letting my inner voice be overly concerned with what I could be doing instead of what I was actually doing. For example, sometimes I will be at work, knee deep in a special project and my mind will wander off into something else that I have going on at home. I work from home, so this can be a major distraction for me. I find my mind pulling towards anything and everything that is not the task at hand. I understand now that it is my ego deflecting and me not being fully present and accepting what I am working on. My mind is trying to focus on something else because I am not happy doing the task at hand. I know that not every single second of my day at work, for example, is going to be amazing and fun. That is just the reality of the job, however I can do what I am doing to my best ability and focus on what I do enjoy about the task. One of my least favorite things to do is review calls for my employees. I listen to the recorded call and then provide detailed feedback regarding their call. The act of listening to the call is tedious and sometimes boring. What I do enjoy about my job though, is helping people. I remind myself that by reviewing the calls and providing feedback, I am helping people and doing something that I love. This is already helping me by reminding me that it is a labor of love, just as someone who loves to ride horses and care for them might not like shoveling poop in the stalls, but they do it anyway. 

I want to curate the things in my life that I enjoy, not just with work, but my leisure time as well. I have been working in excess for the past 5 months, and I am in desperate need to dial it back. I am looking forward to honing in on what I truly love, spending more time with myself and by myself. I am excited to spend more dedicated time on my hobbies. This much needed rest, rejuvenation and introspective time is fully in alignment with self-care. 

Have you picked out your word of the year? Have you ever considered if any of your goals or word of the year were abusive, unrealistic, or counterintuitive, leaving you feeling unaccomplished? If so, I encourage you to take a more gentler approach and give yourself some grace this year. We have gone through so much, and we all need a little pampering on the inside and outside every now and then.

Self-care is the Best Care

Hello everyone! This week on the podcast, we are talking about what we do for self-care and why self-care is important. What is self-care? According to the Global Self-Care Federation, self-care is defined as “the practice of individuals looking after their own health using the knowledge and information available to them. It is a decision-making process that empowers individuals to look after their own health efficiently and conveniently, in collaboration with health and social care professionals as needed.” Simply, take care of yourself.

Why is this such a problem for people? As I’ve learned in life, not taking care of yourself will simply kill you. That’s the bottom line. My mother was great at taking care of things. My dad, grandma, and I (and her pets) were her world. She didn’t eat until everyone else ate. She spent endless hours making sure my grandmother ate, took her pills, watched her favorite shows, and took a bath to the point that she sometimes forgot to do those things for herself. My mom didn’t eat the things she wanted to eat; she always let everyone else choose. My mom didn’t do the activities she wanted to do; she went along with what I wanted to do. Her family and friends were her world, and when she wasn’t spending time with us, she was at work for endless hours (until she was forced to medically retire). My mom ran ragged worrying about other people and oftentimes neglected her health. As a result, she suffered a series of strokes at the age of 59 and eventually died of heart failure just shy of her 64th birthday.

I, too, was going down the same path as my mother. I had just turned 30 when my mother suffered her strokes, and I moved in with her and my grandmother to take care of them; it was like my life turned upside down. Before that, I lived alone and I had a routine. I woke up at a certain time every day, took my medication, ate at a certain time, followed a daily regime of skincare, and went to the gym regularly. I put all of my things in storage and started sleeping on my grandmother’s extremely uncomfortable couch when I wasn't sleeping in a chair at the hospital. Eventually, with the help of my cousins, I was able to move a bed into my grandmother’s sewing room, but this was after months of sleeping where and when I could, showering whenever I had the chance, and eating from the hospitality station next to my mom’s hospital room…which consisted mainly of yogurt and cheese sticks.

After my mom eventually got well enough that she didn’t need someone attending her 24/7, I was able to start working again. However, in my new place, it was hard to get back into the strict routine that I had. Unfortunately, I had let myself go. I gained weight, I started breaking out, and I became too comfortable with a sedentary life. As the years passed, I slowly slipped into putting others’ needs above my own and eventually began to lose myself in the needs of others. 

After my separation in 2020, I began to slowly pick up those routines again. I started a strict skincare routine of cleansing my face daily and applying shea butter lotion to the rough skin that had developed on my arms and legs. I started giving myself regular pedicures and manicures and wearing the right makeup that didn’t break me out. Other than that I started dressing for my body type and picking up old hobbies that I had lost over the years. Slowly, I began to feel satisfied with myself again. I started working my way out of the slump that I let myself fall into. Eventually, I started eating better as well. Is everything perfect? No. Do I need to go to the doctor more? Yes. Will I get back to the routine that I want in my life, taking years of time and effort? For sure. But, I have given myself a level ground to continue on because I can still be there for other people and maintain myself. That is the takeaway. You can be both. You do not have to be one or the other.

I want to hear from our readers. How do you practice self-care? Do you have any self-care tips that you want to share? Please comment below!

A Basic Skincare Routine

Hello! This week on the blog we are talking about our favorite facial skincare routines and why you should have one. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always have the best skincare routine, especially when my daily flow is interrupted. When that is the case, I usually get off my routine and have to pick it back up again. I’m inconsistent but I’m trying to be better as I get older.

I have susceptible skin, and it changes throughout the year, so it is trial and error when it comes to my skin to find products my skin will tolerate. Over the years I have tried many different companies, searching for the best skincare products using beauty subscription boxes such as Birchbox™ and BoxyCharm™. After years of searching, I have finally decided that Clinique™ has some of the best products out there. 

Clinique™ was actually the brand that I started my skincare journey with years ago. If anything, I like consistency and my mother and my grandmother were avid users of Clinique™. When I was a freshman in high school, my mom took me to the Clinique™ counter and she showed me the different products they had to offer and how to use them. Since then, I have always been faithful to their makeup and their blemish control system, AcneSolutions™. It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I felt like I needed to amp up my skincare routines.

The one thing I try to stay consistent about daily is my moisturizer. I have Rosacea, which is a facial skin condition causing redness. One of the best moisturizers that I have found to help with my rosacea is called Redness Solutions Daily Relief Cream™ by Clinique™. I can tell a visible difference whenever I use the product consistently or switch between products (which often causes a breakout). I use my moisturizer twice a day after washing my face with a mild facial cleanser. One thing I like about this product is that it leaves my face feeling soft, unlike other moisturizers that I have used, which leave my face feeling dry.

Aside from an overall moisturizer, I also use an eye cream for the dark circles under my eyes. My favorite eye cream is also by Clinique™ from their All About Eyes™ eye cream line. Their eye products are the only products that I’ve tried that visibly reduce my eye puffiness in the morning, especially if I consistently use them every day.

My routine isn’t extensive but it helps keep my rosacea and eye puffiness at bay. My key to success is consistency. After years of trying, I found products and routines that work for my skin. The best advice I can give to those looking to try out new skincare routines is to try a beauty subscription box like the ones I mentioned above and see what products work for you.

I want to hear from our readers. What are your favorite skincare routines? Do you struggle with keeping routines? Let’s continue the conversation below.

What Did Tyra Banks Choose?

Last fall, not long after Amber, Christen, and I decided we wanted to start a blog and podcast, I turned on the TV and caught the tail end of a local morning show interviewing Tyra Banks. The show was mostly background noise while I got squared away to do some work at my desk, but something the supermodel said caught my attention, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. The hostess asked the busy mom what her biggest challenge was, and Banks answered that some days it came down to a decision between whether to brush her teeth or take a shower. Now I don’t recall if that’s exactly what she said, and, honestly, I couldn’t even tell you what show she was on or even what station it was. The only thing that stuck with me was the concept of being so busy, so overcommitted, overburdened, and inundated with obligations that you don’t even have time for proper grooming. I’ve been there, and I bet just about every working mom in America (maybe the world) has been there (or something akin to it), too.

Rather than get off into a diatribe about why women seem to feel like we have to prove our worth by taking on everything and then beat ourselves up over it when we think we’ve failed (that is a whole episode of its own, girlfriend!), I want to talk about how we can stop this self-immolating behavior and bring a more realistic balance into our lives.

• Set boundaries and KEEP them! Others will stop expecting you to take on the world when YOU stop expecting it of yourself. No one is perfect, and forgetting to pay a bill or serving dinner an hour late does not make you a failure. Know what your limits are, and don’t let others push you beyond them. 

• Learn to say “NO!” and mean it. No means no. So when the PTA asks you if you can host the teacher luncheon at the last minute, do not let them pressure you into doing it. You are not their last and only hope. All those other people turned them down for a reason – they set boundaries and kept them. Say “no”, my friend, and don’t feel guilty about it at all. Your kids’ education will not suffer because you don’t have time to order catering.

• Use an Eisenhower matrix. Remember that Eisenhower matrix we keep talking about? List out your tasks and responsibilities (all of them!) based on whether they are urgent/not urgent and important/not important. Schedule anything important that you can postpone and then DELEGATE anything you can delegate – get it OFF your plate. That includes everything that falls into the “not important” category, leaving only the urgent and important tasks for you to tackle. Use the matrix DAILY if needed.

• Get realistic about what you CAN actually do. My therapist once asked me to make a timeline to prove to myself that my expectations were unreasonable. By writing out all the things that needed to happen and assigning time to accomplish them, I could see that I had taken on too much. I bet you will, too. Make a timeline and DOUBLE the time it takes to do each task. Yes, double. Tasks almost always take more time than we think they will. The bonus is that if you finish the task ahead of schedule, you’ve got some nice free time.

• Did I mention boundaries? I say it again because this is one area where we often tend to forget the rules. Remind yourself and remind your family, set expectations for their contributions, and hold them to the boundaries you have set.

• Create “ME” time for self-care. You should never have to choose between things that are necessary to your health -  they are your FIRST priority, before any of those other obligations. You cannot take care of others if you are falling apart yourself.

• Ask for help! Just because a task is YOUR responsibility does NOT mean you have to take it on alone. Running behind making dinner? Get your spouse or kids to lend a hand. Work has you stressed out? Maybe a coworker can pitch in to help you get caught up or can give you some tips on how to stay on top of things. Ask your child to alphabetize your filing or open the mail. Get your partner to help you make the bed or dry the dishes. Many hands make light work, and sometimes the act of doing those tasks together creates opportunities for communication and bonding. That’s a big win, my friend.

• Live a life of gratitude and forgiveness. Sometimes things fall through the cracks. Be gentle with yourself. None of us are perfect. Be grateful for what you have accomplished (make a list if you need to!) and forgive yourself for the rest. Tomorrow is a new day and another opportunity to start over again. 

I don’t know if Tyra Banks decided to brush her teeth or take a shower, but I don’t think that’s a decision anyone should ever have to make. This pressure that we put on ourselves to do ALL the things is not realistic, and it only hurts us in the end. We don’t have to be a perfect mom to be a GREAT mom, and there’s plenty of room to give ourselves grace and a realistic sense of what we can do. So the next time you feel pressure to get it all done at the expense of your own self-care, ask yourself, “Who is expecting me to do all this, and why?” Chances are, the answer is you.

Can you relate to Tyra Banks? Have you mastered the art of juggling your obligations without sacrificing self-care? We’d love to hear about it. Share your story in the comments below or over on our MMC Chat Facebook group. 

Why You Should Stay Hydrated!

Many of us struggle to drink enough water. It has been something I strive for and even sometimes struggle with. I find that, just like the tide, I ebb and flow when it comes to drinking water. I will get on a kick and drink until I float away, and then something might trigger the pause, and I will slow down on my water consumption.

With the new moon coming on Tuesday, right now is the best time to set those new intentions. If you have been struggling, like most people, to get in enough fluids, set the intention to drink more water for your health. Determine exactly what your intention is, and set that intention with the new moon on Tuesday, June 28th. Your positive and creative energies are at their highest during the new moon. 

Great ways to set intentions:

• Vision boards
• Positive affirmations
• Smart goals
• Meditation
• Scripting

I mentioned last week that I have been busy this summer. We recently came back from a great family canoe trip. My parents have been canoeing down the Brazos River for several years now. Just last year, Travis, Reyna and I joined them for our first expedition. Although we had no idea what we were getting into, we were eager to go. I want to tell you about a terrifying experience that we had while on our canoe trip in 2021.

Now when I say that we were going on a canoe trip, I mean just that. We parked our cars and were shuttled off to a remote location where we were left with our gear, 3 canoes, and our own willpower to get 20 miles down the river safely. My dad is not the planner in the family, that would be my mom, so when we asked him what to bring, he said “I got everything, just bring your beer and camping gear.” So that's what we did. I’m not a beer drinker, so Travis brought a tiny cooler with some beer for himself. The goal was to go 10 - 12 miles down river, stopping somewhere about half the way for lunch and then making the last leg for that day to a good place to camp on the side of the river bank. We would reserve the last 8 - 10 miles for the following day. We had all of our gear in our canoes: tents, chairs, clothing, food, toilet paper…everything. 

The day was hot! The temperature was probably close to, if not, in the 100’s. Travis and I did not have the best clothing choices on. We thought, since it was going to be hot, that tank tops and shorts would be best to keep us cool. Despite our best efforts to keep sunscreen applied, we were both dried-out lobsters by lunch time. We got a little wet in the river to cool off. Reyna was having a blast digging up river rocks and swimming, but Travis was starting to look very worn out, and I was getting pretty worn out myself. The whole trip, we were paddling against the wind so it was very exhausting. 

The camping spots are not designated. The land edging up to the river is privately owned, so the only places to camp are on the sandbars. We paddled downstream and checked out several spots, looking for the flattest places to camp. I turned to look at Travis only to find that he was not paddling any longer, and looked very ill. He was clearly getting heat exhaustion. We had been pushing waters on him, but all the waters were in a cooler in another canoe, not easily accessible. It was clear that he was dehydrated. By the time we found a campsite, he was nauseous and was not able to keep the water down. It was horrible, he was of no help getting the tent set up and we couldn’t get him to drink. 

Once I got our tent set up, he climbed inside and practically passed out. He emerged just long enough to try and eat supper, but that upset his stomach. After about an hour of sitting with the family, he went back to bed with instructions to drink more water. We had no choice but to let him rest so that we could carry on the next day. That night, he was restless in his sleep. He kept trying to get out of the tent and wander off in the dark without shoes or a flashlight. I feared that he was delirious! Thankfully at some point in the night I was able to get him to finally go to sleep, and we finished off our canoe trip the next day.

This year, we made some changes to how we packed. I insisted that we have a cooler in each canoe, with drinks. We extended the trip by one more day, so that we could travel a shorter distance, and rest longer in between. Travis and I wore long sleeve shirts to protect our skin from getting burned, and we brought 4 large packs of water along with other refreshments. Before our trip, Travis made extra efforts to ensure that he was pre-hydrated; several weeks prior to the trip, he bumped up his daily water intake.

I thought it would be wise to set up a way to ensure that we all drank, and often. The first year that we went canoeing, Travis and I being novices, found our canoes mimicking bumper car behavior more than anything. Going into it this year I just knew that it would be the same as before, so I told everyone that we would drink anytime someone got their canoe turned the wrong direction. We drank a lot! Thankfully this year, the only thing that was dehydrated on our trip were my lips because they got a little windburned, but a couple of days with Vaseline on them, and they are smooth again!

The moral of my story: arriving at an outdoor activity on the brink of dehydration can be fatal. My husband was very lucky that his dehydration did not cause further damage. He is now the butt of the joke anytime we talk about the canoe trip of 2021, and he was scrutinized (very lovingly) if he had any drink left in his bottle, (and probably always will be). 

What measures do you take to ensure you are getting enough fluids? Have you or a loved one ever been severely dehydrated? I would love to hear what you have to say, be sure to stop by MMC Chat on Facebook to continue the conversation and be sure to check out the podcast on Wednesday where we each share our hydration tips. 

Photo by Cindy Murray