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We are three women who love to write and have great conversations. Join our weekly podcast where we discuss various topics in deeper learning, spirituality, and living healthier and more fulfilling lives.
Listen to the podcast: HERE
We are three women who love to write and have great conversations. Join our weekly podcast where we discuss various topics in deeper learning, spirituality, and living healthier and more fulfilling lives.
As a widow, I’ve been very slow to make any changes around my home or in my life. I don’t trust my instincts right now because the brain fog of grief makes it hard to think things through. I understand my limitations, and I accept them. Very little is so important that it can’t wait until I can think more clearly. Yes, I’ve had to deal with a few unexpected things, like the decision to replace three dilapidated sheds with a new one, and several costly home repairs that couldn’t be avoided. Still, all in all, I have avoided making any big changes in my life. Even though I’ve wanted to buy a new car for several years, I decided to put it off for the time being, setting certain criteria that must be met before I would allow myself to even think about buying one. I haven’t even allowed myself to try a new hair color or style, much less contemplate redecorating or going out on a date.
An article in Psychology Today explains why anxiety and depression interfere with our ability to make sound decisions. It suggests that people who experience anxiety and depression are less likely to use reflective thinking processes in their decision-making and that, in the absence of sufficient information, they do not seek out more information in order to make a sound decision. This seems to track with my experience of seeing friends and family members jump from one poor relationship right into a new one with barely a pause in between. Those rebound relationships rarely work out, and even when they do, they still haven’t dealt with the failures of the first relationship, which may come back to haunt them down the road. It is important to take the time to feel all the feels without trying to mask them with the latest bright and shiny new thing.
Jill Cohen, a grief counselor in New York City, gives these examples of the types of decisions that should not be made within a year of a loss on her website:
Getting rid of keepsakes, mementos, photos, clothes, and collectibles.
Changing jobs.
Moving.
Financial Decisions
Other life decisions like having a baby, not having a baby, getting married, getting divorced, retiring, or making major investments.
Whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one or are going through a divorce, the grief you are experiencing can and does affect your ability to make decisions. Obviously, some decisions are unavoidable, like the necessity of moving after a divorce. Still, if you are faced with decisions during these critical times in your life, your best option is to get help and perspective in the process. Talk it over with a counselor, get the opinion of trusted friends and family, listen to their advice, and take care of yourself. Grief is hard enough without adding more stress and drama to the mix. Let things just be for the moment. Don’t look outside yourself for happiness and fulfillment; search for it within. Give yourself grace and choose not to decide. You’ll be glad you did.
Cindy Murray is a widow, mother, and grandmother who enjoys nature, good food, and friends. She's an artist, writer, and musician who came from a small town, moved to the big city, and loves to travel. She is the co-founder of Crafty Neighbor, a crafter's resource and events page, and the author of Crafty Neighbor's Neighborhood Gossip, a blog about crafting and the crafts industry. Cindy has worked as a travel agent since 2010 and is the owner/founder of Crafty Neighbor Travel. You can find links to all of Cindy's websites, blogs, and social media accounts here: https://linktr.ee/CraftyNeighbor
Listen to the podcast: HERE
We are three women who love to write and have great conversations. Join our weekly podcast where we discuss various topics in deeper learning, spirituality, and living healthier and more fulfilling lives.
Listen to the podcast: HERE
We are three women who love to write and have great conversations. Join our weekly podcast where we discuss various topics in deeper learning, spirituality, and living healthier and more fulfilling lives.
Listen to the podcast: HERE
We are three women who love to write and have great conversations. Join our weekly podcast where we discuss various topics in deeper learning, spirituality, and living healthier and more fulfilling lives.
