In July, I decided to try something different. I was tired of feeling like I never got to do anything creative or have any fun. I’ve mentioned on this blog that it’s been a rough few years here in the Murray household: deaths, illness, a revolving door of family moving in and out, COVID, job loss, and so many significant changes that even I can’t keep track of them all. Through it all, I’ve tried to stay creative. I’ve maintained my Thursday craft day (mostly), and I still go on retreats with my besties to quilt and scrapbook, but it never feels like enough. And if you look closely, you’ll note that all of those crafty times occurred when I was with other people – rarely when I was on my own at home. Why? Because I felt guilty.
It is a long-standing tradition of mine to beat myself up for not being productive enough or not getting enough done. I start my day with a long list of things I “need” to do, and I often stay up into the wee hours of the morning trying to get through them, although I never do. I have a friend who often tells me I do too much. She’s right, but it’s not by choice, and sometimes there’s not a lot I can do about it. I am a 60-year-old widow, and the responsibilities of running my home fall squarely on me. Feed the dog? Me. Take out the trash? Me. Do the laundry? Wash the dishes? File the taxes? Pay the bills? All me. I won’t bore you with a list of all the things I have to do in a day before I can sit down to edit a podcast episode or write a blog. Forget about starting a new craft project or some other hobby…I can barely (not!) keep up with the ones I have now.
In January and again in June, I wrote in my blog (No Time for Hobbies and Mid-Year Goal Refresh, respectively) about making time for things. I stand by my statement that we make time for the things that are important to us. So if I’m not making time for my hobbies, or worse yet, myself, then my own self-care must not be all that important to me, right? I want to yell, “No, no, no!”
So, taking a bit of my own advice, I started allowing myself to be done for the day…to let go of the mile-long list of shoulds and spend an hour or two relaxing and doing something I enjoy. When my granddaughter came for a visit, we dragged out our Diamond Dots® and watched movies. I actually did more movie watching than diamond painting, but that’s not the point. I was reminded that this was a craft that I found relaxing, and I hadn’t done it for a long time. Then, a couple of weeks later, I pulled it out again, and pretty soon, I was working on my diamond painting every chance I could get. And you know what? I felt less stressed. Okay, so maybe I didn’t get one or two of the things on my list done that day, but so what? I felt less stressed! That’s huge!
This week on the podcast, we are talking about hobbies, specifically about trying new ones. This one wasn’t a new one for me, but it was one I hadn’t enjoyed in a very long time, and I’m excited to make the time to have fun and do something I liked instead of just working myself until it was time to go to bed. I’ve made a promise to myself that I will spend at least a few minutes every night doing something I love, even if I don’t finish something that I should do. I finished my diamond painting tonight, and I can’t wait to decide which one I want to do next. Maybe, just maybe, I can find a little time to try some of the other hobbies I mentioned on the show.
No comments:
Post a Comment