For the Love of Peanut Butter and Living in the Now

I had a plan. I was going to raid my extensive recipe collection for my favorite things to make with peanut butter because that is the topic of this week’s podcast – “For the Love of Peanut Butter”. Instead, I decided to drive out to West Texas for a few days with my hubby, Mark, to visit friends and family while he does his annual service at South Plains College as a member of the Sound Technology Advisory Committee. I figured I could write my blog in the car on the way down and have it posted first thing Monday morning. What I didn’t count on was sleeping almost the entire drive after having only two hours of sleep the night before, and my failure to make copies of my recipes before I left. So here I sit, with no recipes, and no idea how I can write a blog about peanut butter. So…change in plans (although I will share a family favorite recipe at the very end).

Two years ago, this situation would have sent me over the edge. I don’t really deal with change. I’m not flexible. I get stuck in routines and plans, and I get anxious and even angry when those plans don’t go my way. I really don’t want to sound like a broken record, but reading Eckart Tolle’s “A New Earth” was a life-changer for me. So now, instead of getting all bent out of shape over not having the supplies I need to complete my task and feeling the crunch of not having finished it in time, I am calmly looking at what happened and trying to find the lesson to be learned in all of this. Tolle has helped me learn to accept what “is” and move on, rather than dwelling on what “should” have been. I can look at what went wrong, tuck that bit of knowledge away for the future, and start looking for a solution rather than someone or something to blame.

As I look back at why I might have wound up in Lubbock, Texas without my recipes and a fully-written blog post, I think it is pretty clear that “Perfect Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance,” as my husband would say, as does getting a good night’s sleep the night before – two topics we’ve discussed on our podcast are the main culprits. I had started packing for my trip earlier in the week, but when I reviewed the list, I didn’t think everything through to print several of the documents I would need while on my trip (not just my recipes). And the sleep issue came about because I was up very late trying to get it all packed – something I should have done much earlier in the week. I was living “behind the clock,” as Amber would say, and it was my own fault. I tried to do too much, didn’t follow my own plans, and let distractions and spontaneous opportunities steal my time and deplete my energy.

Good planning is essential to creating a balanced and purpose-driven life. I like to call it “being a grown-up.” Think about it this way…children are not capable of thinking in the long term. When you tell them that Santa comes at Christmas, and it’s only July, that time span feels like an eternity. They can’t really plan in the short term, either. They might want to eat a snack at 5 o’clock when dinner will be served just an hour later. A child’s focus is entirely on the now, and what they want in the moment – instant gratification. A child does not think ahead or plan for the future. As we mature, we (hopefully) learn to delay gratification, understanding that there are more important things than play, acquiring the next toy, or eating a whole package of cookies. We learn that work comes before play, actions have consequences, and instant gratification is a fleeting comfort. 

Can you imagine if we all lived our lives with the mindset of children? Stop for a moment and picture your life lived as a 10-year-old child. What would that look like? Would you eat junk food all day, stay up all night, skip school or work to play video games, buy every gizmo, gadget, and sparkly object that catches your attention, and get mad whenever things go pear-shaped? Do you do that now?

An adult, a mature adult, has the capacity to differentiate between what they want and what they need. A mature adult can put off what they want in order to take care of what they need. Planning, responsibility, forethought…these are all hallmarks of a mature adult. But what about now, you ask? Isn’t this idea of thinking ahead, planning for the future, and taking care of responsibilities ahead of time in direct opposition to living in the now? Absolutely not. 

Living in the now does not equate to YOLO (you only live once), which became so popular with younger generations a few years ago. Eckhart Tolle teaches us that acceptance is an important aspect of living in the now. Accepting our responsibilities without complaint – doing the things we must do, managing the tasks that are required or expected of us, following through on the commitments we’ve made, and engaging in the everyday necessities of life – these are the characteristics of maturity. It is in the acceptance of these responsibilities that we find we are living in the now. When you can go through the motions of a dreaded chore while embracing the moment that is, accepting, or even enjoying, the process without complaint or grumbling about what you would rather be doing – that is the essence of living in the now. Be in the moment. Savor every minute of every day…every task, every duty, and every burden in surrender and peace rather than thinking about what you would rather be doing, or worse yet, shirking those obligations in favor of momentary diversion or fleeting pleasure.

So go ahead and plan. Plan well. Think ahead. Consider every possibility. Look at every detail. Give yourself time to take care of your responsibilities, and then add some extra time to it and schedule it to be done before it is due. Use the Eisenhower Matrix to plot out what is urgent vs. what is important. And always, always follow through. Drive your life like you mean it. Live it like you are an all-star batter, hitting that mid-field home run that affords you the leisure of jogging through the bases with no worries, rather bunting and then sliding into first just in time to avoid being tagged out, only to have to worry about how to get to the next base and the next. Be the grown-up. Make the plan. Follow through.

Is it foolproof? Not in the least. Will you still have to play catch-up, switcheroo, or scramble to get things done? Count on it. But it won’t be as stressful. It won’t throw you out of sorts. And you will be amazed at how much time is left over for all that fun stuff when you actually plan everything out.

Oh, and as promised, here is a family favorite peanut butter-based recipe that you probably haven’t tried – Thai Rice Salad. I discovered this recipe over 30 years ago when I worked for Furr’s, Inc., a regional supermarket chain based out of Lubbock. The company hosted a Food Fair at the local convention center, and the corporate office employees (me) got to attend the night before it opened to sample food, take home swag, and learn about various vendors and suppliers. Uncle Ben’s rice had a booth there, and they were giving away free recipes. As my husband is a huge fan of Thai food, we decided to give this recipe a try and it is truly one of our family favorites. You can serve it warm or cold, and I have prepared it with various forms of cooked chicken including boiled and rotisserie. I hope you enjoy it!

Click here to download the full recipe

Listen to the podcast this week and then join us on MMC Chat for discussions of all things peanut butter. And don’t forget to comment about the blog below.

My 7 Secrets for a Perfect Holiday

 

My Thanksgiving Day schedule on the fridge. Next to the stove, you can see my recipes on a stand.

Have you noticed how time seems to fly when we get close to the holiday season? This is my favorite time of year, and yet I seem to always be running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to get everything done, and getting flustered, flummoxed, and frustrated in the process. If you can relate, then I am here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that way, and I think I’ve found the secret to making any holiday just about perfect.

Like many families, the last few years around here have been fraught with change…COVID, unemployment, extra family members living with us, illness, death…we’ve survived it all, and it has changed the way we look at Christmas (or any holiday for that matter). At some point, I just gave up trying to be the perfect hostess presenting the perfect dinner in a perfect house with all the perfect touches for a perfect event. Where does this idea of perfection come from anyway? I think we’ve all been watching too many Hallmark movies! Although I truly do know better than to expect perfection, there is something in me that has this “perfect” picture of the holidays in my head and I’ll be darned if I’m not going to try and accomplish it! 

A few years ago, I finally figured out that I can’t do it all on my own, and I enlisted the help of my daughter, Christen (who you know from this blog and the podcast), and my niece, Ashley. One early fall day, we enjoyed happy hour at our local Chuy’s and decided to plan our holiday festivities, nailing down any and every detail we could think of along with assigning a person to be responsible for it. It was nothing that I hadn’t done before, but having it all spelled out in writing and with two other family members to back it up, it carried weight.  We planned it together. Who was going to challenge that?

Those first couple of years were focused on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and many of the activities in our “plan” involved baking days, crafting days, and even some movie-watching and game-playing days. As each day rolled around, we found it was easy to know what was supposed to happen and when so most things went off without a hitch. After each holiday, we would regroup, make notes about what worked and what didn’t, and set it aside for the next year. This planning has become our routine and has been amazingly effective even through COVID and all the aforementioned changes. And because of the success of all this planning, I was able to discover what I call my 7 Secrets of a Perfect Holiday. 

1. Be realistic. 

When you look at what you want to accomplish realistically, you may find that what you want isn’t just a challenge – it can be impossible. Pick and choose what you really want to include, and learn to say “no” to anything that goes beyond that.  

When my family started planning, we quickly realized that some family activities just weren’t going to happen when we are all  together, so we opted for going our separate ways for things like visits with Santa and driving around looking at lights. We also quickly realized that to have all of our Christmas baking and decorating done in time to enjoy it, we had to start working on it the weekend after Thanksgiving. Now, baking and decorating on that Saturday is part of our Thanksgiving/Christmas ritual.

2. Make a plan.

Once you know what is most important to you, start planning it out. Think about all the details like time constraints, supplies needed, and who will be responsible for each part. Plan out the menu for your meals and then break the recipes down into little steps that are scheduled throughout the day or even the day before.

Knowing that we are going to make cornbread dressing on Thursday for Thanksgiving, we knew that we had to bake the cornbread on Monday so it could dry out to bread crumbs. I made pies the day before. Then, for the day of our feast, I start at the time I would like to serve dinner and work my way back through all of the recipes so that everything is done and ready to serve at exactly the right time. If a recipe calls for chopping celery, I mark on the plans who will be chopping. In this way, every person knows exactly what they are doing and when…right down to setting the table, changing clothes, and putting on make-up.

3. Delegate.

This was one of the hardest things for me to do. I’m a control freak, and to allow someone else to do something that I am perfectly capable of doing (especially when I have a specific way I want it done) is darned near impossible, but I’ve learned to do it. I realized some while back that the other women in the family are never going to learn how to do things unless I allow them to do it and learn, and someday it will be up to them to carry on our family traditions. I owe it to them to bring them in on the process – to teach them the way. It has been a lifesaver for me. Learning to let go and let someone else do it allows me to focus on other aspects of the holiday like baking my special recipe or coordinating all the other helpers. This year, more than half of our Thanksgiving dishes were made by someone other than me, and my brother and niece set the tables.

4. Lower your expectations.

This can be hard, too, especially if you have some kind of Norman Rockwell/Hallmark movie picture of what Christmas (or any other holiday) should be like. Remember that 70% rule Christen talked about a while back? It applies here, too. If you can manage to get 70% of what you hope to accomplish, I’m betting you’re going to have a great holiday. And remember that delegating thing? Don’t expect too much of your helpers, either. It’s perfectly okay if your niece sets the table with the forks and knives on the wrong sides of the plates. No one cares. Really. No one cares.

5. Be in the moment.

If I learned anything from our adventure reading Eckhart Tolle’s, A New Earth, it is this – be in the moment. The moment is now. Now is all there is. Make the most of what you have. Enjoy it. Be fully present. 

This was never more evident in our family than this past Thanksgiving. My brother and his family came to visit, and rather than change our plans, we decided to just bring them in on all the fun. For Saturday, the plan was to rise early, eat some donuts and start decorating my tree. In the afternoon, we were going to start some of our baking and take turns at building gingerbread houses. If there was enough time in the evening, we would either play a game or do some crafting. But things change. Christen wasn’t in the mood for donuts, so she brought breakfast burritos, too (a big hit with everyone), and we were having so much fun visiting with my sister-in-law and doing some crafting that we never did decorate the tree. In the end, the “boys” played a game while we crafted, and then we all got in on the gingerbread houses, taking turns at the dining room table. It was all good fun, and while I wished I had gone to bed that evening with a fully-decorated tree, it didn’t kill me to do it the next day. The point is that we were in the moment, enjoying what was, and not worrying about what was supposed to be. I wouldn’t trade those hours of crafting and talking with Lisa for the world.

6. Stick to your budget.

This may sound super obvious, but budgets have a very real and valuable purpose, and that is to keep us out of trouble! It’s very tempting to shop for groceries for a dinner and add one more side dish or appetizer, or to discover one more gift for someone that you think you must give. I am so guilty of this! Especially when it comes to gift-giving. I will find the perfect gift for someone and then the very next day find another little something that would be perfect for that person. But, oops, if I buy one more for this person, then I need to find another little something for that person, and it just keeps adding up. I love using things like Amazon Wish Lists to buy gifts because I can quickly tally how much I’ve spent on each person and stick to my budget. It’s a lot safer for me than just randomly milling through stores looking for something. Santa has the right idea; make a list, check it twice, and stick to it! There’s nothing worse than overspending on a meal or gifts and then eating beans and rice for the next month just to pay for it.

7. Stick to your routines.

This last little tidbit is more about self-care than anything else. Often, when we are caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we tend to overlook things like our diet, exercise routines, and even sleep. Be sure to stick to your regular sleep schedule as much as possible (even when you have company!), and don’t give up on those exercise routines. A morning work-out, evening meditation, or that wonderful soak in a hot tub might be just the thing to help you keep the stress at bay. As for that diet…well, we all over-indulge once in a while, so just be mindful and don’t make it another habit that you’re going to have to change come January 1.

That’s my secret to having a perfect holiday. I’d like to know what you think. Do you have any tips to share with our readers? Be sure to listen to the podcast on Wednesday to hear what Christen and Amber have to say!

Plan Ahead to Avoid the Sacrifice

Hey everyone! On the podcast this week, we talked about making those little sacrifices every now and then. Those little sacrifices could be skipping on personal hygiene or other self care activities. Basically, if you are running tight on time, you might omit important parts of your selfcare routine. We all do it; it might not be sacrificing the shower or brushing your teeth, some might sacrifice even more if they are really pressed for time! These are just the choices we make on an everyday basis. I find that when I return from a trip or have a huge schedule upheaval, I get really off my routine and miss important things, like meal planning and other personal business.

Travis, Reyna and I recently went on a family trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. We were only gone for four days, but it was right in the middle of a busy week at work and right before the Labor Day holiday. I knew that we would be cutting it close when it came down to packing and heading out for our trip, and even getting back home and unpacking might be a struggle. I made sure to take an extra day off before we left town, and another one when we got back so that we could get packed and unpacked without feeling rushed. I also wanted to make sure that all the clothes that I wanted were clean and easy to find so that I wouldn't have to make any compromises with my wardrobe. Since I get a little off track due to vacations, I thought I would share what we did this time around to prevent our personal matters from slipping through the cracks – a little premeditated self-care if you will. These are just some things you can do to prepare before you go on a trip. By planning ahead, you can prevent yourself from making last minute sacrifices. 

Reyna living it up in NOLA

Prevent a clothing catastrophe:

• Wash, fold and put away all your laundry at least 1-2 days before you start packing.
• Pack the day before (or sooner)
• Use a packing list
• I start tossing things I want to take into an empty laundry basket when I come across it in the week before my trip

Kitchen clean out:

• Plan your meals for the week before your trip and the week after
• Clean out your fridge; freeze, use or throw away anything that will expire while you are gone
• Order your road trip snacks with grocery pick up instead of buying from expensive convenient stores as you travel - Check out Cindy's blog here
• Get grocery pick up when you arrive back in town
• Do a quick run through your cleaning checklist for your kitchen

Don’t let the bills slip:

• Check your bills that will be due while traveling and anything coming up afterwards.
• Pay them before you go or make sure auto pay will go through

Come home to a clean house:

• Tidy up and declutter before you go
• Empty all your trash cans and waste bins
• Set out clean towels for your kitchen and bathrooms
• Make your bed
• Make sure all the dishes are washed and put away
• Do a quick run through your cleaning checklist for the rest of your home

Travis enjoying brunch on our way back home.

If you can manage to take care of these everyday tasks before you set out on your vacation, you will come home to a clean house, and you’ll  have less things to worry about when you get back. Once you get back home, you can unpack and relax a little before getting back into your daily routine. Doing the extra work before you play by planning meals and pre-paying the bills will ensure that you don’t forget anything or feel overwhelmed when you return.

How Planning Transformed My Life

In the past, I’ve always been a casual planner and calendar user. I utilized as many as I could. I had a calendar on my wall at home, I had a calendar on my desk at work, and I had a teacher planner and pocket planner that I carried with me everywhere. I had so many planners that planning was overwhelming. Two years ago, Christen introduced me to Happy Planner® and I fell in love. Instead of having so many planners, I committed to having one planner for all of the planning that I do.

Katniss helping me plan.

My Happy Planner®  has many sections that help me stay organized:

• Year-at-a-glance section
• Month-at-a-glance layout
• Weekly spread
• Daily entries

Different things I use my planner for:

1. Everyday events such as birthdays, due dates, date nights, weddings, etc. I also take it to the next level, and I have spiritual and literary events added, as well as the moon phases and Banned Books Week. Because I am an English teacher, I like to add the literary holidays because I like to plan around them and celebrate with my students. I utilize my monthly calendar for these things.
2. School dates such as school holidays, the nine-week grading periods, field trip days, testing days, and lesson due dates. We have a lot of school dates, so I utilize the weekly part of my planner. The weekly spread is also very helpful when planning out lesson plans and to-do lists. I try to organize the weekly calendar.
3. Budgeting. In every monthly section of my planner, there are pages for notes. I write a list of my bills and their due dates. I will also make a note of bill due dates in the daily section of the planner. I use a budget tracker to track my spending habits. You can also buy supplemental budgeting sheets to add to your Happy Planner®.
4. Lists. Listing is very important to me. I like to keep a daily or weekly goal list and to-do list. I write these lists in the margins of the weekly section in my planner. I also have a call list that I keep in the monthly section of my planner which reminds me of the phone calls I need to make.

Rough draft of to-do lists

Other key features I like:

• Stickers. I love stickers! When I first bought a planner, I immediately purchased cool stickers to go in my planner.
• Folders and pockets. You can add folders and pockets to your planner to keep loose papers and it gives your planner a notebook-like feel.
• The room to truly be creative. Not only do I like to color-code my dates but I also like to draw pictures in my planner to represent key moments in my life.

After all of this, I still do not consider myself an extreme planner. However, after changing my planning habits and consolidating all of my calendars to one catch-all planner, my life has been more organized and efficient. When I get to school, one of the first things I do is take out my planner and see what I have going on that day. Planning has helped me look ahead and not overbook myself. Planning has also helped me keep accountable in certain aspects of my life that used to challenge me, such as budgeting. Organizing to the extreme is not for everyone and you can still be a casual planner using Happy Planner® but if you are looking for an extra creative outlet in your life, I highly recommend it.

Let’s continue the conversation. Do you use day planners in your life? Join us on our Facebook Group: MMC Chat and on our Facebook page.

An Invitation to Plan with Me

I’ve used a day planner since I was 18 or 19 years old. I’m not even sure when or why I started, but I loved writing things down in my handy planner. It helped me remember things. And for someone with ADHD, that was a super big deal. One of my earliest planners was a simple spiral-bound, 8 ½” x 11” daily that broke down into half-hour increments. It was plain, grey, and not that attractive, but it helped me keep track of my college classes and my work schedule, along with any important assignments and events. Oddly enough, I still have it, as well as several other old planners I used. They’re like a window into my life from days gone by. I find day-timers and planners to be an excellent way to document not only what will happen, but also to track what already has happened. I’ve journaled in them, added photos, decorated some of them, and even added more functionality by inserting various lists and trackers. Over the years, my planners have evolved into everything from an assortment of pocket-sized books to my Palm device and iPhone to what I now use – a Happy Planner by Me and My Big Ideas.

I love my current planner setup. I’ve been perfecting the system for several years now, and it is so streamlined that I can run through all of it automatically every Sunday when I sit down to go through the plans for my next week. My weekly planner setup actually includes everything from meal planning, grocery list making, and errand running plans down to what days I will work on editing our podcasts, writing blog posts, and what crafts I will work on during my Thursday Zoom crop. I also use a brain dump system to help plan household tasks, I run through my PowerSheets© tending lists, and I even do a little computer maintenance. It’s a whole process, and it works very well. 

I mentioned in the podcast that I’ve taken a digital hybrid approach to decorating and utilizing my planner. During the COVID lockdown, I got tired of setting up a planner with all the stickers and nothing to write in it, so I entertained myself by creating a digital template of my regular weekly set-up, and then I simply run the pages of my Happy Planner through the printer. It saves a lot of time (and money) over hunting for just the right sticker to use, and the possible color combinations are endless. 

For several months now, I have been running through this process over Zoom with my daughter, Christen. Since we both plan on Sundays, and since our activities often intersect, requiring us to plan together, it works in our best interest to just do it at the same time together. It has been a great motivator, and I feel like we’ve had more family activities and better coordination since we started. 

Last week, while we were working our way through our weekly plans, we realized that our Modern Musings topic was going to be “Planners” this week, and we thought it would be a great idea to share our planning session with you. Normally, we would do it on a Sunday, but for this week only, we are going to do it on a Friday via a “Plan with Us – Live” session on Zoom. The session will be a slightly condensed version of what we normally do, but hopefully, it will give you an idea of just how organized we can be when we use our planners fully. We hope you will join us, and if not, then the replay will be on our YouTube channel in a few days. 

Plan with Us Live connection info here:

Time: Apr 29, 2022, 08:00 PM Central Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting

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Meeting ID: 828 5000 6280

Passcode: PLANLIVE

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Thanks for dropping by this week, and we hope you’ll join us for the LIVE “Plan with Us” session. If you are interested in seeing more about my custom planner templates for Happy Planner, or any of the other supplies I use, please send us an email using the email form in the sidebar, or hop on over to the MMC Chat Facebook group to continue the discussion there.