For the Love of Peanut Butter and Living in the Now

I had a plan. I was going to raid my extensive recipe collection for my favorite things to make with peanut butter because that is the topic of this week’s podcast – “For the Love of Peanut Butter”. Instead, I decided to drive out to West Texas for a few days with my hubby, Mark, to visit friends and family while he does his annual service at South Plains College as a member of the Sound Technology Advisory Committee. I figured I could write my blog in the car on the way down and have it posted first thing Monday morning. What I didn’t count on was sleeping almost the entire drive after having only two hours of sleep the night before, and my failure to make copies of my recipes before I left. So here I sit, with no recipes, and no idea how I can write a blog about peanut butter. So…change in plans (although I will share a family favorite recipe at the very end).

Two years ago, this situation would have sent me over the edge. I don’t really deal with change. I’m not flexible. I get stuck in routines and plans, and I get anxious and even angry when those plans don’t go my way. I really don’t want to sound like a broken record, but reading Eckart Tolle’s “A New Earth” was a life-changer for me. So now, instead of getting all bent out of shape over not having the supplies I need to complete my task and feeling the crunch of not having finished it in time, I am calmly looking at what happened and trying to find the lesson to be learned in all of this. Tolle has helped me learn to accept what “is” and move on, rather than dwelling on what “should” have been. I can look at what went wrong, tuck that bit of knowledge away for the future, and start looking for a solution rather than someone or something to blame.

As I look back at why I might have wound up in Lubbock, Texas without my recipes and a fully-written blog post, I think it is pretty clear that “Perfect Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance,” as my husband would say, as does getting a good night’s sleep the night before – two topics we’ve discussed on our podcast are the main culprits. I had started packing for my trip earlier in the week, but when I reviewed the list, I didn’t think everything through to print several of the documents I would need while on my trip (not just my recipes). And the sleep issue came about because I was up very late trying to get it all packed – something I should have done much earlier in the week. I was living “behind the clock,” as Amber would say, and it was my own fault. I tried to do too much, didn’t follow my own plans, and let distractions and spontaneous opportunities steal my time and deplete my energy.

Good planning is essential to creating a balanced and purpose-driven life. I like to call it “being a grown-up.” Think about it this way…children are not capable of thinking in the long term. When you tell them that Santa comes at Christmas, and it’s only July, that time span feels like an eternity. They can’t really plan in the short term, either. They might want to eat a snack at 5 o’clock when dinner will be served just an hour later. A child’s focus is entirely on the now, and what they want in the moment – instant gratification. A child does not think ahead or plan for the future. As we mature, we (hopefully) learn to delay gratification, understanding that there are more important things than play, acquiring the next toy, or eating a whole package of cookies. We learn that work comes before play, actions have consequences, and instant gratification is a fleeting comfort. 

Can you imagine if we all lived our lives with the mindset of children? Stop for a moment and picture your life lived as a 10-year-old child. What would that look like? Would you eat junk food all day, stay up all night, skip school or work to play video games, buy every gizmo, gadget, and sparkly object that catches your attention, and get mad whenever things go pear-shaped? Do you do that now?

An adult, a mature adult, has the capacity to differentiate between what they want and what they need. A mature adult can put off what they want in order to take care of what they need. Planning, responsibility, forethought…these are all hallmarks of a mature adult. But what about now, you ask? Isn’t this idea of thinking ahead, planning for the future, and taking care of responsibilities ahead of time in direct opposition to living in the now? Absolutely not. 

Living in the now does not equate to YOLO (you only live once), which became so popular with younger generations a few years ago. Eckhart Tolle teaches us that acceptance is an important aspect of living in the now. Accepting our responsibilities without complaint – doing the things we must do, managing the tasks that are required or expected of us, following through on the commitments we’ve made, and engaging in the everyday necessities of life – these are the characteristics of maturity. It is in the acceptance of these responsibilities that we find we are living in the now. When you can go through the motions of a dreaded chore while embracing the moment that is, accepting, or even enjoying, the process without complaint or grumbling about what you would rather be doing – that is the essence of living in the now. Be in the moment. Savor every minute of every day…every task, every duty, and every burden in surrender and peace rather than thinking about what you would rather be doing, or worse yet, shirking those obligations in favor of momentary diversion or fleeting pleasure.

So go ahead and plan. Plan well. Think ahead. Consider every possibility. Look at every detail. Give yourself time to take care of your responsibilities, and then add some extra time to it and schedule it to be done before it is due. Use the Eisenhower Matrix to plot out what is urgent vs. what is important. And always, always follow through. Drive your life like you mean it. Live it like you are an all-star batter, hitting that mid-field home run that affords you the leisure of jogging through the bases with no worries, rather bunting and then sliding into first just in time to avoid being tagged out, only to have to worry about how to get to the next base and the next. Be the grown-up. Make the plan. Follow through.

Is it foolproof? Not in the least. Will you still have to play catch-up, switcheroo, or scramble to get things done? Count on it. But it won’t be as stressful. It won’t throw you out of sorts. And you will be amazed at how much time is left over for all that fun stuff when you actually plan everything out.

Oh, and as promised, here is a family favorite peanut butter-based recipe that you probably haven’t tried – Thai Rice Salad. I discovered this recipe over 30 years ago when I worked for Furr’s, Inc., a regional supermarket chain based out of Lubbock. The company hosted a Food Fair at the local convention center, and the corporate office employees (me) got to attend the night before it opened to sample food, take home swag, and learn about various vendors and suppliers. Uncle Ben’s rice had a booth there, and they were giving away free recipes. As my husband is a huge fan of Thai food, we decided to give this recipe a try and it is truly one of our family favorites. You can serve it warm or cold, and I have prepared it with various forms of cooked chicken including boiled and rotisserie. I hope you enjoy it!

Click here to download the full recipe

Listen to the podcast this week and then join us on MMC Chat for discussions of all things peanut butter. And don’t forget to comment about the blog below.

My Secret Superpower

This week on the podcast, Christen asked the question, “What would be your superpower?” I had a few answers that I thought would be handy skills, but, in the end, we seemed to find some reason why all of them might be a bit dangerous. As we discussed, there’s always the potential for someone to exploit those powers and use them in nefarious ways, and even if you only meant to do good, there is still the chance that interference with the “natural order” of things could have dire consequences. It’s a lot to think about, and I’m not sure I have the brain capacity right now to care. I’ve had an extremely difficult time dealing with some personal issues these past few weeks (more on that at a later date), and I would rather spend this time focusing on the one superpower that we all have – the power of positivity.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have all the luck? How someone could be at the end of their rope and then, suddenly, some crazy twist of fate spins things around and they are back on top again? Rhonda Byrne believes she knows the secret. In her 2006 movie, “The Secret”, Byrne tells readers about The Law of Attraction, a philosophical belief that whatever you think, whether positive or negative, that is what will come into your life. I sat down to watch the movie a few months ago as part of a One Little Word prompt, and I was inspired to begin working on manifesting some of that positivity in my own life.

The concept is nothing new. As I read Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”, he told readers again and again that negative thoughts are born by the ego.  Destroy the ego, and you are left with gratitude. Gratitude is merely acknowledging the abundance that is already in your life. “Abundance comes only to those who already have it,” Tolle writes, going on to quote Jesus who said, “Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” (Mark 4:25) Jesus also said, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24)

To bring this abundance into my life, I started with scripting, which is basically just writing down the things you want to happen as though they already have, but only in the most positive terms. Have you ever been prompted to write a letter from your future self touting all the good things in your life that have come to pass? That’s scripting. I’ve been asked to do it countless times by high school and college English teachers, and even by trainers and life coaches, but I never gave it much thought. This time, however, I set out with sincere intentions to manifest some good in my life; I thought long and hard about what I would write and exactly how I would write it. It was a long process that first time, lengthened a bit by my decision to fashion an attractive scripting journal out of a boring composition book.

I took a cue from Christen, starting my scripting journal by first setting out my intentions for the book. If my words were going to be a vehicle for change in my life, I needed to make sure they did no harm. I also wrote my scripts from a perspective of gratitude and belief. If I believe the things I write will come to pass, then I should be grateful for them. I was also very specific about the things I wanted to manifest, and I tried to make sure I touched on every aspect of my life, including health, finances, family, friends, career, and marriage. I’ve added to the journal periodically, sometimes pasting in a graphic, other times writing out my ideal daily schedule, or even listing out my goals for the month as a “win list” as though I had already accomplished them. 

I must say, I think scripting has worked. I’ve made tremendous progress toward my goals, and I’ve felt quite empowered by my new sense of self-confidence and positive attitude. This new attitude has helped me stay rooted in my power word for this year, “now”, and has been especially helpful in dealing with the unexpected personal upheaval I mentioned earlier. Where before, I might have spent this time looking at all the negative consequences of these changes or wasting time feeling sorry for myself, I am now catching myself in those negative thoughts and “flipping the script”. I try to focus on maintaining a positive attitude and acceptance of what “is”, while also looking at the lessons I can learn and realizing that while I may not be able to control everything, I can certainly control how I react to it. And while I did shed more than just a few tears, I’ve been able to stay rooted in the present and have not devolved into self-pity, anger, or anguish. It is what it is, and earlier today, when I reviewed those previous scripts I wrote, I realized that every single one of them was still possible. That gives me hope, and hope is a product of positive thinking. If that’s not a superpower, I don’t know what is.

Have you tried scripting? Do you believe in the power of positive thinking? I’d love to hear about your experience. Comment below, or join the conversation over on the MMC Chat Facebook group.

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! This week during the podcast we talked about the “Luck of the Irish” and how it is actually kind of unlucky. I wanted to touch on this subject a little more. I have been working on positive affirmations for myself for some time, and I am a firm believer that what you think and say are your reality. 

This really brings some of the talking points in Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” front and center. In his book he discussed people thinking and talking negatively, and how that action brings them into a negative pattern of behavior. Those negative thoughts feed the ego, allowing more negative thoughts to arise. I am thankful that this behavior has been brought to my attention. I have been striving, since reading the book, to feed my mind only good thoughts. I have found myself slipping into a pessimistic mind frame from time to time out of habit. This tends to happen to me when I get stressed and overwhelmed. I don’t necessarily consider myself to be lucky or unlucky though.

Frane Selak is a good example of someone that was considered the most unlucky person and/or the luckiest in the world. He passed away several years ago, but when he was alive, he had many seemingly unfortunate events occur one right after the other. He was a survivor of several motor vehicle accidents that left other passengers dead. Although he came close to death many times, I consider him a lucky survivor. Someone else might argue that he was unlucky since he had so many accidents while in a moving vehicle. 

I know that many of us can feel like we are being attacked by an outside force of bad luck. The saying, “if it’s not one thing, then it's another” and Murphy’s Law, “if it can happen, it will happen”, come to mind. If you feel like you are a victim or suffering from a negative force of back luck, stop yourself from spiraling into a negative mindset before you get too deep. 

This is the good vibes only zone! I compiled a short list of positive affirmations regarding luck! 

• I am lucky

• Good things happen to me

• I attract wealth and prosperity

• Wonderful things happen to me every day

• Everything is going my way

• Good fortune flows my way

• My day is flowing effortlessly

• My life has purpose and meaning

• My day is exciting and full of adventure

• Amazing opportunities come into my life

• I am constantly drawing good fortune my way

• My day is full of opportunities

• Good luck comes natural to me

• My positive thoughts and actions bring me good luck

• Things always work out for me

• I am lucky and alive

• Things happen for me, not to me

• I always bounce back

• I always land on my feet

I cannot claim that thinking positively will stop the force of bad luck, but I can attest that a positive mindset can turn any situation around. There are many other ways to turn your misfortune around and hopefully we can get to those another time. Let me know if that is something that interests you! What do you do when you strike into a row of misfortune? Do you have any go to phrases or actions? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Can You Just Stop Complaining?

This week on the podcast, we talked about chapters 3 and 4 of Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” and one of the concepts in those chapters was the idea that the act of complaining comes from the ego and is, in fact, a way for the ego to situate itself as superior to others. As we have discussed in previous episodes on this topic, the ego continually does things to set itself apart from others and to give itself more power. It likes to play the victim. The ego thrives on drama, and the more isolated one feels, the more different, or the more unique, then the stronger the ego becomes. Taking this idea a step further, Tolle tells us that when we complain, we are saying, by implication, that we are right and the other person (or situation) is wrong.

Tolle tells us that to go beyond the ego, we must stop reacting to it. We must stop complaining. But wait! We all complain sometimes, right? Does this mean we can’t ever say anything? That we have to put up with bad service or rude behavior? 

, No, Tolle tells us that there’s a difference between complaining and informing. Informing is passing on important information. It is all about facts, not feelings. There are no accusations. No guilt. No resentment. When you inform, you realize that it’s not personal, so there is no longer a compulsion to react as though it were. When you inform, you are simply letting the clerk know that they gave you the wrong change, or telling the waiter that the soup was cold. In contrast, a complaint is fraught with emotion, often in the form of offense or outrage. A complaint is accusatory. The ego feels insulted, put-upon, wronged. The two reactions are very different, and thus the outcome is also very different.

I find this notion intriguing. I wonder if any of us know just how often we complain. After talking recently with a friend, we both agreed we complain a lot. When my friend mentioned following a social media influencer who was taking part in a 21-day “no complaining” challenge, my immediate thought was, “Oh crap, it’s only 10 AM and I’ve already failed miserably!” Then I laughed and told my friend I didn’t think I could make it even one day. I complain a lot, and I know it.

I come from a long line of complainers. My family and I used to cringe at things my grandmother would say about other people. She was super critical of anyone who wasn’t like her, and even some who were. She would refer to women her age as “that old woman,” and make snide remarks about people’s weight or their clothing. It was embarrassing, but we loved her. My mother was much the same. In her later years, she has complained about every single person on the planet in one way or another. She complains about her food, other people’s hair, or how long she has to wait at the doctor’s office. Lately, I’ve written it off as a symptom of her dementia, but I’m not sure. She’s never happy; or maybe she’s only happy when she has something to complain about.

Over the last few years, I’ve caught myself repeating the same bad behavior. Complaining about waiting in line. Cursing at traffic. Put out by slow service or forgetful waiters. I’ve grumbled about perceived injustice, imagined slights, and honest mistakes. I’ve been judgmental and even rude. When I catch myself, I wince and think, “I sound just like my mother,” and I make a vow to stop. It never lasts long, because sooner or later, some other insignificant something will come along to “ruin” my day, and before I know it, I’m right back where I was before, complaining about everything that isn’t exactly the way I want it to be. 

 

“Ego takes everything personally,” Tolle tells us. And often, in the midst of my complaining, that’s exactly how I feel…as though the universe is out to get me. But of course, that is just my ego. I know this. And lately, I’ve been trying to stop myself (mid-complaint if I’m slow on the draw). Tolle assures us that the moment we become aware of the voice in our head as nothing more than a conditioned pattern (the ego), then that ego is weakened. We also know that whatever you have learned (like complaining), we can also unlearn.

 

I guess that means there is hope for me yet. Maybe someday complaining will no longer be a habit for me. I try to imagine a world in which no one complained. What a wonderful world that would be. I’m willing to give it a try. Are you?

 

I’d like to challenge you to go a day without complaining. Or maybe just see how long you can go without complaining. Can you go for an hour? A day? A week? More? Tell us about it in the comments below or join the conversation on our Facebook Chat Group.

Heard It on the Podcast - March 9

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here's the links for this week:

9-MAR-2022

S2E11: A New Earth, Chapters 3 and 4

• Eckhart Tolle, "A New Earth": https://amzn.to/3hblVm4

And don't forget our sincere thanks to:

• Creative Audio Tech/Red Door Studios: http://www.creativeaudiotech.com

As an Amazon Affiliate, Modern Musings earns from qualifying purchases. 

Heard It on the Podcast - March 2

 

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here's the links for this week:

2-MAR-2022

S2E10: Cups

• Ali Edwards "Just Write": https://aliedwards.com/subscribe/just-write
• Borgbilly/Sonic Biscuit 365 Project: https://soundcloud.com/mark-murray-2
• Eckhart Tolle, "A New Earth": https://amzn.to/3hblVm4
• Creative Audio Tech/Red Door Studios: http://www.creativeaudiotech.com

As an Amazon Affiliate, Modern Musings earns from qualifying purchases.

 Hi everyone, Christen here checking in today!

Join us as we dive into Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth. This week on the Podcast we will be discussing the first two chapters. We are going into this discussion blindly because we have been reading the book, but have not discussed any of the contents other than when Cindy recommended it to Amber and myself.  I hope you’ve had a chance to get your hands on a copy of the book and start reading since we will be exploring the first two chapters together on the blog and during the Podcast this week. It would be awesome if you would like to read along and join in on the conversation on our Facebook page. If you have not had the opportunity to get the book, you still have plenty of time – we’ve added a link to the book through our Amazon Affiliate program below. Come find out why Oprah Winfrey calls Eckhart Tolle “The Father of Now”. 

As an Amazon Affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Purchase "A New Earth" by Eckhardt Tolle