Have you ever had goals that you could never seem to get off the ground? No matter how hard you tried, how many plans you made, how detailed the steps were, you never seemed to make any headway. Or maybe it was on your list of to-dos for weeks, months, or even years, but something always happened that kept you from getting it done. A crisis in the family, a project at work, or an illness sidelined your efforts and left you frustrated and disappointed in yourself for not having the fortitude or the self-discipline to get it done. Have you ever considered the possibility that the problem might be the goal, rather than you?
That’s the thought that came to me this morning as I was running through my daily routine, and I thought about my goals for the day. Some of the projects I’ve been working on lately are not really passion projects, but rather things that I feel like I must do. And some of the projects I was initially excited about have turned into a nightmarish collection of things that I’ve started but can’t complete, leaving me feeling guilty about my lack of follow-through and my total ADHD squirrel brain. Some days I feel like I will never get to the things I want to do because of the time I spend not completing the things that I should do. At what point does a goal become an obligation, and when is it okay to say that it just doesn’t matter anymore?
These are just a few of the feelings I’ve been battling as we near the mid-year mark, and my attitude hasn’t been helped by our Mid-Year Goal Refresh episode coming up this week. One of the questions that keeps plaguing me is “What do I really want?” To be honest, most days, I don’t even know. I have told myself I want a flourishing career as a travel agent, along with a measure of success for this Modern Musings podcast and blog. I say I want to travel. I claim to want to create art, or at least be crafty. I swear I am determined to lose weight and get healthy. But are these really what I want?
In January, I posted a blog article about never being able to find time for my hobbies, and my conclusion was that I very obviously wasn’t making time for them because they weren’t a real priority. Anything that is a real priority is going to be put first, or nearly so, right? So why was I prioritizing other things over hobbies that I loved? Why am I now prioritizing other things over goals and tasks that I profess to be important? What do I really want? It’s a question I’ve struggled with most of my life.
Maybe it’s time to take a closer look at my goals and determine if they are things I truly want, or if they are things I think I should want. Do I just keep working at the same goals because it’s what I’ve always done? What would happen if I just decided to let those plans go in favor of something that would give me more happiness now? Is the end result worth the struggle? Or are some other short-term, quick-fix goals the real answer to my motivation?
As we begin our mid-year refresh, take some time to check back in with your why. Why are your goals important to you? Are they still important to you? Has your motivation changed? What are you stuck on? Are you sure this is what you really want?
If you still believe in your goals and are certain they are what you truly and authentically want for yourself, then look further into why you might be unmotivated, bored, or even avoiding your goals. What is holding you back? What do you need to change? What are you afraid of? What might change if you reached your goal?
Answer these questions for yourself and then find ways to update, refresh, change, or revitalize your plans. Then find your next step, and the next. Keep showing up to it, little by little, day by day. It may not seem like you’re making any progress, but if you are consistently moving forward, even if it’s by inches, you will get there. Just don’t give up…not if it’s what you really want.
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