- The lie: I’ll publish tomorrow. In high school, I completed my first novel. I wrote it for a school assignment and then decided to expand it. In college, I decided to look into getting it published, and the publisher told me I needed more pages to make it truly a full-length novel. So, I began the editing and expanding process and I have been doing it for twenty years now. I keep telling myself that I will look into self-publishing my novel when I have time to sit down and write. Every year, I try to push myself to complete the process, but I continue to hold myself back. I could give a bunch of excuses why I haven’t published one of my novels or stories such as “time” or “work,” but it’s a lie. I have been holding myself back from publishing my work.
- The lie: I’ll diet tomorrow. This is a big one. I struggle a lot with my weight to the point that I have to be vigilant about what I put in my mouth. My biggest struggle lately is that due to depression and other external factors, I have been off the rails with my diet for the last year. It seems that I will take one step forward to lowering my cholesterol and eating healthier, and one huge step back if I give in to temptation and eat something fried or sweet. I tell myself that yes, I messed up today, but I will start dieting tomorrow. So far, I am only kidding myself.
- The lie: I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow. This lie piggybacks onto the dieting lie. I recently went to the doctor after months of putting it off. I don’t like visiting doctors much, and it always seems like as soon as I find a doctor I like, they move or they quit practicing. Back in August, my insurance company sent word that I would have to find another primary care doctor and, of course, I put it off in favor of doing something else. This was something that my parents struggled with as well – going to the doctor and getting checked out. I can make a list of all the things I hate about visiting the doctor, but I won’t because those are just excuses, action is the only thing that will benefit me in the long run.
- The lie: I’ll deal with my grief tomorrow. My father died in 2017, and my mother died fifteen months later. Since then, I have been running from dealing with my grief and the storage units containing my parents’ belongings. In the back of my mind, I thought that if I put off dealing with their things and my grief that it would go away, but here I am, almost six years later, trying to get up enough courage to open my storage lockers and begin the process of cataloging everything. Many times I have been told that I should be “over it” by now – the death of my parents. This has mostly been told to me by people that still have living parents. I don’t think you ever get over a loss that heavy, but I do know that I can deal with it better than I have been, such as seeking help or talking to someone. I just have to stop telling myself that I will set up an appointment “tomorrow.”
- The lie: I’ll clean the house tomorrow. I have a junk table in my house. It’s a table sitting by the door that I set stuff on as I walk in the front door with the intention of coming back and taking it to its proper place. Most of the time I set stuff on that table and forget about it. Months will go by, and it will still be sitting on that table by the door. Dust will start to collect on that object until, suddenly, it has been there for a year and I pick it up and wonder why it even exists. Most recently, I picked up an unopened envelope from that very table and realized that it was sent to me in mid-November and it is now March. I have lived in my apartment for almost two years, and I guarantee you that I have only cleaned the floors twice in my kitchen. So, I make these grand plans to clean one little thing when I come home from work and then tell myself that I will do it tomorrow because I am too tired today. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to end.
Conversations with the Maiden, Mother, and Crone
Looking at ourselves and the world through the lens of the 21st century.
Monday, March 27, 2023
I'll Do it Tomorrow
Monday, March 20, 2023
What Your Mother Never Told You
Have you been listening to our podcasts? This week is a little bit different, and I’m hoping it will be both enlightening and helpful. Although we often refer to “Goals, Girl” and other female-centric topics, I’m pretty sure this is the first one dedicated to a purely female topic. It’s also very personal for all three of us, as we share some health histories and other information about periods, menopause, and women’s health. And while we aren’t especially graphic, there are a few delicate topics that might not be suitable for all ages, so have a listen before sharing with your younger daughters. As for the guys out there listening, we hope this will help you understand some things a little better, and if not, then we’d love to hear from you! Now, on to some helpful menopause tips….
We’ve all heard about hot flashes during menopause, but did you know that they can start as early as your mid-30s? And while some sources say they last anywhere from six months to two years, some women experience them for a great deal longer. When I first started having hot flashes, I thought I was going through some kind of spontaneous combustion, and I was sure that I was about to burst into a ball of flames. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and the aromatase inhibitor my doctors put me on to block my estrogen production made the hot flashes even worse. I lived with those hot flashes for almost 10 years, five of them on the cancer medication, and they’ve only now begun to lessen. Luckily, I did learn a few things about hot flashes that I wanted to share with you.
Some foods and drugs make hot flashes worse. Some of the worst culprits are coffee, alcohol, chocolate, spicy foods, and hot foods right off the stove. Check with your pharmacist to see if any of your medications cause or add to hot flashes. There may be a better alternative that doesn’t.
Some women have cold flashes, too. Since estrogen helps us regulate our body temperature, the fluctuating (waning) availability in our system can cause us to be either cold or hot, sometimes one right after the other. The best solution is to dress in layers that can be easily put on or taken off. A cardigan sweater can be your best friend.
Menopause shouldn't be a secret; discuss the experience with your
friends, family, and doctor.There are many natural treatments that alleviate symptoms. But check with your doctor first. Some plant-based phytoestrogens can mimic or even increase estrogen levels, which could be harmful to someone being treated for estrogen-positive breast cancer. That said, some phytoestrogens actually help decrease estrogen levels and could be beneficial to cancer patients. One over-the-counter treatment recommended by my oncologist was Relizen, a Swedish flower pollen extract sold by Bonafide.
Exercise and lose weight. Studies have shown that even a minimal amount of exercise can be beneficial in curbing those hot flashes and that a moderate amount of exercise combined with weight loss can sometimes help eliminate them altogether.
Drink plenty of water. I’ve found that having a cold glass of water on hand at the start of a hot flash can make it go away faster. Plus, it’s never a bad idea to drink more water, right?
Use a fan. I have desk fans, ceiling fans, and even little hand fans that I carry in my purse to whip out at dinner or on the train. A little bit of air movement helps your skin feel cooler. But be careful and don’t fan too aggressively…some suggest that all that arm movement using a hand fan might actually heat you up!
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To fan or not to fan, that is the question.... |
Is there a cure for hot flashes? Not yet. But if you lessen the things that exacerbate them and you find some ways to stay cool in spite of them, you might just survive menopause.
Do you have hot flashes? What has worked for you? We’d love to hear about it. Share your story in the comments below or join the conversation in our Facebook Group MMC Chat.

Saturday, March 11, 2023
Rules for Being a Boss Bitch
Wednesday, on the podcast, Amber introduced us to her favorite oracle deck and the book that inspired it, “Literary Witches: A Celebration of Magical Women Writers.” This topic was a great tie-in to International Women’s Day, which just so happened to be celebrated on Wednesday. March is also “Women’s History Month”, and you may have noticed that we’ve been sharing several female-centric blogs and podcasts, including February’s “Women in STEM” episode and, coming up next week, the as-yet-untitled podcast about role reversals. It’s going to be a good one, so don’t forget to tune in; I’ll have links below! Rather than rehash our discussion about our favorite Literary Witches and Boss Bitches, which I also listed on our Heard it on the Podcast post this week, I thought it might be fun to take a look at what makes someone a Boss Bitch.
Some people (okay, many) have a problem with the word bitch because it’s been used for so long to deprecate women. I have, admittedly, used the word that way myself when describing someone who is harsh, bossy, catty, mean, or temperamental. I’ve even used it to describe women who put their careers first at the expense of their families and loved ones. That is not what we are talking about. “Boss Bitch” is not the same as a bossy bitch, and I’ve come to embrace the word as a sort of feminist badge when used in the more traditional context, especially in regards to strong, alpha females, who rule their pack (think wolves) as strong and independent leaders. In fact, the urban dictionary defines a Boss Bitch as:
“A confident, successful, and independent woman who speaks her mind and stands up for what she believes in.”
I like that. I like that a lot. In fact, I think that’s something we should all aspire to, whether male or female. So, what do all these boss bitches have in common? What does it take to be a Boss Bitch? Here are my Top 10 qualities for being a Boss Bitch:
Passionate: Boss bitches have found their calling or at least something they are truly passionate about. Whether it’s caring for their family, feeding the homeless, or making a place for themselves in this male-driven world, boss bitches know what is important, and they aren’t going to let a little something like “the norm” or “tradition” keep them from achieving it.
Vocal: Boss bitches are not afraid to share their voices. They speak up when they see injustice, whether it’s in the form of #metoo or #freebritney.
Authentic: Boss bitches are real. They are true to themselves and they don’t dim their beautiful and brilliant light just to fit in with what society has said they should be.
Confident: A boss bitch knows what she is capable of and she believes in herself. She is courageous and willing to take on daunting tasks. She does the right thing, even when it’s scary because she knows that fear is often a sign that she’s on the right path.
Independent: A boss bitch knows that some things have to be done alone, without the support of others. She’s willing to do all the work herself if she has to because she knows she can. If others step up to help, then all the better.
Hard Worker: Boss bitches have a great work ethic. They won’t quit until the job is done and they aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty or mess up their pretty manicure. She’s a good employee, and an even better boss because she’s not afraid to get in there and do the job as a part of the team.
Gracious: Boss bitches are not bitchy. They are courteous, kind, and well-mannered. Classy and tasteful. Graceful under pressure. Likewise, boss bitches would never put someone down, belittle, or disparage others. They respect authority and work within the current system to make things right or get what they or others deserve.
Supportive: Boss bitches empower others to be their best selves, too. They don’t feel threatened by someone else’s success. They share their knowledge and experience with others, so they can be boss bitches, too.
Loyal: Ride or die, a boss bitch is there until the end, no matter what it takes. But you better deserve it.
Grateful: Above all, a boss bitch lives a life of gratitude. She knows she pulled herself up by her bootstraps, but she also recognizes and appreciates the fact that sometimes she’s had help along the way. She is thankful for all the boss bitches who came before her, as well as her friends, family, fellow bitches, community, and faith.
I think these are good qualities for anyone to have, and whether or not you agree with using the phrase “Boss Bitch,” maybe it is something we should all strive to be.
Do you know a real boss bitch? Give her a shout-out here or on our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Don’t like the phrase “Boss Bitch?” What are some other titles we could use to acknowledge these fabulously strong and powerful ladies?

Wednesday, March 8, 2023
Heard it on the Podcast - March 8, 2023
- Literary Witches by Taisia Kitaiskaia
- Good House Keeping, 120 Women Who Changed Our World
- Gris Grimly, Frankenstein graphic novel
- Britney Spears, Work Bitch
- Movie about Julia Child: Julie & Julia
- Rombauer, Becker, et. al., The Joy of Cooking
- Julia Child, Mastering the Art of French Cooking
- Literary witches we named:
- Shirley Jackson
- Sylvia Plath
- Toni Morrison
- Flannery O'Connor
- Emily Dickenson
- Virginia Wolfe
- Sandra Cisneros
- Jane Austen
- Charlotte Bronte
- Emily Bronte
- Gertrude Stein
- Agatha Christie
- Mary Shelly
- Margaret Atwood
- Ayn Rand
- Maya Angelou
- Laura Ingalls Wilder
- J. K. Rowling
- Lois Lowery
- Suzanne Collins
- Veronica Roth
- Literal (Boss) Bitches
- Barbara Walters
- Ellen Degeneris
- Dr. Ruth Westheimer
- Georgia O'Keefe
- Helen Girly Brown
- Sandra Day O'Connor
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg
- Margaret Thatcher
- Malala Yousafzai
- Helen Keller
- Anne Sullivan
- Temple Grandon
- Rosa Parks
- Mother Theresa
- Michelle Obama
- Nancy Reagan
- Eleanor Roosevelt
- Queen Elizabeth II
- Princess Diana
- Queen Elizabeth I
- Meryl Streep
- Erin Brockovich
- Margaret Sanger
- Tarana Burke
- Ann Landers
- Abigail Vanburen
- Julia Child
- Oprah Winfrey
- Gloria Steinam
- Marie Curie
- Martha Stuart
- Susan B. Anthony
- Harriett Tubman
- Juliette Gordon Lowe
- Danika Patrick
- Janet Guthrie
- Amelia Earhart
- Bessie Coleman
- Dorthea Lange
- Jane Goodall
- Coco Channell
- Mary Kay Ash

Monday, March 6, 2023
Literary Witches
I want to hear from our readers. Who is your favorite female writer? Who do you consider a “boss bitch?” Let’s continue the conversation below or on our Facebook Page: MMC Chat.
Thursday, March 2, 2023
Peanut Butter Cravings
After my weight-loss surgery, there were only two foods that I tolerated: eggs and peanut butter, which is a weird combination that I didn’t eat at the same time. Now that it has been about four years since my surgery, I have branched out a bit. I still love peanut butter, however, and it is a frequent phantom period craving.
My cravings are usually for something sugary or carbohydrate-rich. Each month the cravings are different, but last month it was peanut butter. I was surprised by this because I hadn’t touched peanut butter or made my “peanut butter treat” in over six months. Peanut butter is an easier craving to manage than, say, ice cream or pizza (which was my January craving). Another craving I have often is crab rangoon.
- 3-5 spoonfuls: Organic, Low-sugar Crunchy Peanut Butter such as Fix and Fogg Super Crunchy Peanut Butter or Adam’s 100% Natural Crunchy Peanut Butter
- ½ cup: Peanuts (I like salty but raw would work better if you are trying to be as healthy as possible) such as Planter’s Cocktail Peanuts
- Optional additions you can add in addition to or instead of chocolate chips: Sugar-free Marshmallow Fluff such as Walden Farms or Caramel Sauce such as Enlightened
Instructions:
- Mix all ingredients together in a bowl and cover. Stick mixture in refrigerator or freezer for at least three hours and enjoy.
In my blog last year, I mentioned peanut butter spreads that I liked to buy from the local farmer’s market. Recently, I discovered a small business of peanut butter spreads that has become viral on TikTok called Nerdy Nuts™. I have not ordered from this company yet, but I enjoy watching their videos.
Wednesday, March 1, 2023
Heard it on the Podcast - March 1, 2023
- Take our peanut butter poll
- Peanut butter boards on Pinterest
- Check out our peanut butter recipes on our downloads page
- Lazy Dog restaurant locations
- Austin Avenue Grill & Sports Bar

Monday, February 27, 2023
For the Love of Peanut Butter and Living in the Now
I had a plan. I was going to raid my extensive recipe collection for my favorite things to make with peanut butter because that is the topic of this week’s podcast – “For the Love of Peanut Butter”. Instead, I decided to drive out to West Texas for a few days with my hubby, Mark, to visit friends and family while he does his annual service at South Plains College as a member of the Sound Technology Advisory Committee. I figured I could write my blog in the car on the way down and have it posted first thing Monday morning. What I didn’t count on was sleeping almost the entire drive after having only two hours of sleep the night before, and my failure to make copies of my recipes before I left. So here I sit, with no recipes, and no idea how I can write a blog about peanut butter. So…change in plans (although I will share a family favorite recipe at the very end).
Two years ago, this situation would have sent me over the edge. I don’t really deal with change. I’m not flexible. I get stuck in routines and plans, and I get anxious and even angry when those plans don’t go my way. I really don’t want to sound like a broken record, but reading Eckart Tolle’s “A New Earth” was a life-changer for me. So now, instead of getting all bent out of shape over not having the supplies I need to complete my task and feeling the crunch of not having finished it in time, I am calmly looking at what happened and trying to find the lesson to be learned in all of this. Tolle has helped me learn to accept what “is” and move on, rather than dwelling on what “should” have been. I can look at what went wrong, tuck that bit of knowledge away for the future, and start looking for a solution rather than someone or something to blame.
As I look back at why I might have wound up in Lubbock, Texas without my recipes and a fully-written blog post, I think it is pretty clear that “Perfect Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance,” as my husband would say, as does getting a good night’s sleep the night before – two topics we’ve discussed on our podcast are the main culprits. I had started packing for my trip earlier in the week, but when I reviewed the list, I didn’t think everything through to print several of the documents I would need while on my trip (not just my recipes). And the sleep issue came about because I was up very late trying to get it all packed – something I should have done much earlier in the week. I was living “behind the clock,” as Amber would say, and it was my own fault. I tried to do too much, didn’t follow my own plans, and let distractions and spontaneous opportunities steal my time and deplete my energy.
Good planning is essential to creating a balanced and purpose-driven life. I like to call it “being a grown-up.” Think about it this way…children are not capable of thinking in the long term. When you tell them that Santa comes at Christmas, and it’s only July, that time span feels like an eternity. They can’t really plan in the short term, either. They might want to eat a snack at 5 o’clock when dinner will be served just an hour later. A child’s focus is entirely on the now, and what they want in the moment – instant gratification. A child does not think ahead or plan for the future. As we mature, we (hopefully) learn to delay gratification, understanding that there are more important things than play, acquiring the next toy, or eating a whole package of cookies. We learn that work comes before play, actions have consequences, and instant gratification is a fleeting comfort.
Can you imagine if we all lived our lives with the mindset of children? Stop for a moment and picture your life lived as a 10-year-old child. What would that look like? Would you eat junk food all day, stay up all night, skip school or work to play video games, buy every gizmo, gadget, and sparkly object that catches your attention, and get mad whenever things go pear-shaped? Do you do that now?
An adult, a mature adult, has the capacity to differentiate between what they want and what they need. A mature adult can put off what they want in order to take care of what they need. Planning, responsibility, forethought…these are all hallmarks of a mature adult. But what about now, you ask? Isn’t this idea of thinking ahead, planning for the future, and taking care of responsibilities ahead of time in direct opposition to living in the now? Absolutely not.
Living in the now does not equate to YOLO (you only live once), which became so popular with younger generations a few years ago. Eckhart Tolle teaches us that acceptance is an important aspect of living in the now. Accepting our responsibilities without complaint – doing the things we must do, managing the tasks that are required or expected of us, following through on the commitments we’ve made, and engaging in the everyday necessities of life – these are the characteristics of maturity. It is in the acceptance of these responsibilities that we find we are living in the now. When you can go through the motions of a dreaded chore while embracing the moment that is, accepting, or even enjoying, the process without complaint or grumbling about what you would rather be doing – that is the essence of living in the now. Be in the moment. Savor every minute of every day…every task, every duty, and every burden in surrender and peace rather than thinking about what you would rather be doing, or worse yet, shirking those obligations in favor of momentary diversion or fleeting pleasure.
So go ahead and plan. Plan well. Think ahead. Consider every possibility. Look at every detail. Give yourself time to take care of your responsibilities, and then add some extra time to it and schedule it to be done before it is due. Use the Eisenhower Matrix to plot out what is urgent vs. what is important. And always, always follow through. Drive your life like you mean it. Live it like you are an all-star batter, hitting that mid-field home run that affords you the leisure of jogging through the bases with no worries, rather bunting and then sliding into first just in time to avoid being tagged out, only to have to worry about how to get to the next base and the next. Be the grown-up. Make the plan. Follow through.
Is it foolproof? Not in the least. Will you still have to play catch-up, switcheroo, or scramble to get things done? Count on it. But it won’t be as stressful. It won’t throw you out of sorts. And you will be amazed at how much time is left over for all that fun stuff when you actually plan everything out.
Oh, and as promised, here is a family favorite peanut butter-based recipe that you probably haven’t tried – Thai Rice Salad. I discovered this recipe over 30 years ago when I worked for Furr’s, Inc., a regional supermarket chain based out of Lubbock. The company hosted a Food Fair at the local convention center, and the corporate office employees (me) got to attend the night before it opened to sample food, take home swag, and learn about various vendors and suppliers. Uncle Ben’s rice had a booth there, and they were giving away free recipes. As my husband is a huge fan of Thai food, we decided to give this recipe a try and it is truly one of our family favorites. You can serve it warm or cold, and I have prepared it with various forms of cooked chicken including boiled and rotisserie. I hope you enjoy it!
Listen to the podcast this week and then join us on MMC Chat for discussions of all things peanut butter. And don’t forget to comment about the blog below.

5 Ways to Manifest Your Best Life
Hi there, and welcome back! Since we have been heavily focusing on goals and planning, I thought we should discuss manifesting. I love this ...