Conversations with the Maiden, Mother, and Crone

Looking at ourselves and the world through the lens of the 21st century.

Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Heard it on the Podcast - May 22, 2024

   

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we do most Wednesdays to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here are the links for this week:

22-May-2024

S4E21: World Goth Day

Christen and Amber mentioned some of their favorite sources for Goth clothing:

And Cindy mentioned Hell's Oddities for some cool tooth, bone, and insect jewelry and artwork:


Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Heard it on the Podcast - May 15, 2024

     

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we do most Wednesdays to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here are the links for this week:

15-May-2024

S4E20: Game Shows

Here are some of the game shows we mentioned in the podcast:

  • $10,000 Pyramid
  • Password
  • Let's Make a Deal
  • Concentration
  • To Tell the Truth
  • The Price is Right
  • Jeopardy
  • Match Game
  • Hollywood Squares
  • Tic-Tac-Dough
  • Family Feud
  • Wheel of Fortune
  • Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
  • The Dating Game
  • Name that Tune
  • Card Sharks
  • What's My Line
  • The Mole
  • Squid Games
  • Tattle Tales
  • 25 Words or Less
  • The Newlywed Game
  • Whose Line is it Anyway?
  • The Masked Singer
  • Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?
  • Win Ben Stein's Money
  • Win, Lose, or Draw
  • Wipeout
  • The Gong Show
  • Robot Wars
  • Junkyard Wars
  • Making It
  • Powerball Lottery
  • Forged in Fire
  • Hair Battle Spectacular
  • Project Runway
  • Beat Bobby Flay
  • Iron Chef

    Thursday, May 9, 2024

    The Donkey in the Well

     


    I learned a lot in the 35 years Mark and I were married. One of the first things he taught me was a lesson in stress management. When we first started dating, I was a single mom juggling college and a part-time job at a pizza parlor. I wasn’t receiving any child support, and I made too much money (yes, seriously) to receive any kind of welfare or support from the state. I was a wreck. One evening, as we sat on his sofa and I wailed about the rotten tomatoes life kept throwing at me, he told me this story:


    There was an old farmer who had a donkey. The farmer loved his donkey, and the donkey had been a faithful helper to the farmer, pulling his cart to the market for many years. While plowing a field one day, he heard the donkey crying out in distress. He searched for the sound and found that his donkey had fallen down an old well. 


    The farmer tried and tried to get the donkey out of the well, but he couldn’t. The donkey was braying so wretchedly that the farmer knew he had to do something, so he decided to fill in the well and put the donkey out of his misery. Finding a pile of dirt and rubble nearby, he grabbed a shovel and started filling in the hole.


    As he filled the hole, the donkey began to bray even louder, and the farmer felt so bad that he shoveled more and more dirt as fast as he could. Eventually, the donkey stopped his wailing, and the farmer thought perhaps he was dead. He looked over the side of the well and was amazed to see the donkey on top of all the dirt he’d shoveled!


    The farmer decided to throw in more dirt to see what would happen. He couldn’t believe his eyes as he watched the donkey shake the dirt and debris off his back and then step up onto the fallen mound. Each time the farmer tossed in a pile of dirt, the donkey would shake it off and take another step up. Eventually, the donkey got close enough to the edge of the well to climb out on his own.


    The moral of this story is that life will always pile a lot on top of you, and you can choose to be buried by it or shake it off and take a step up.


    When Mark told me this story, I laughed. I was so young and distressed that it only gave me a moment’s pause in my despair, but it was enough that I soon climbed out of my hole. Throughout my life, there have been things that have made me feel the same way, and it has always been my determination to rise above the adversity that has enabled me to keep going.


    I had not thought of this story for many years, but this evening, as I was reflecting on my life with Mark, my anguish at his loss, and the blessings and lessons I gleaned from our life together, the story of the donkey in the well came immediately to mind. I realized that the lesson has remained even when I am not actively thinking of that story. It has fundamentally changed who I am and helped me learn to deal with my stress.


    Does that mean I don’t have stress? Not at all. Like the donkey, I am prone to crying out in frustration and feeling sorry for myself when nothing seems to go my way. But eventually, I always realize I can shake off the dirt life throws at me, and little by little, the pile becomes something I can rise above. 


    Don’t let your stress, your worries, or your fears bury you. Shake them off and step up!


    Wednesday, May 8, 2024

    Heard it on the Podcast - May 8, 2024

        

    Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we do most Wednesdays to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here are the links for this week:

    8-May-2024

    S4E19: Ways to Lower Stress

       

      Wednesday, May 1, 2024

      Heard it on the Podcast - May 1, 2024

          

      Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we do most Wednesdays to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here are the links for this week:

      1-May-2024

      S4E18: What is Art?


        Wednesday, April 24, 2024

        Heard it on the Podcast - April 24, 2024

           

        Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we do most Wednesdays to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here are the links for this week:

        24-Apr-2024

        S4E17: Gardner's Multiple Intelligences

        Wednesday, April 17, 2024

        Heard it on the Podcast - April 17, 2024

          

        Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we do most Wednesdays to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here are the links for this week:

        17-Apr-2024

        S4E16: The Wizard of Oz vs. Alice in Wonderland

        We mentioned quite a few movies and other adaptations of these two classics. Here is where you can find them:


        Saturday, April 13, 2024

        Time to Forget

         


        Wednesday’s podcast was about wedding planning and some funny stories we recalled from Amber’s and Christen’s weddings. I only had one funny story to tell from my own wedding. I don’t know if it is because nothing funny happened or because it was more than 35 years ago. Honestly, I think weddings are a lot like childbirth and construction/remodeling projects – they are painful while you’re in the middle of it, but after a while, you just forget all the bad stuff and only remember the good. Grief can do that, too.


        If you had asked me two years ago to describe my husband, I would tell you that Mark was a wonderful and kind human being who was passionate about his work, Boy Scouts, and making music. I would probably also tell you he was the youngest of 3 children, born when his siblings were in their teens, making him both the “baby” and, later, an only child. This resulted in him being spoiled, a little selfish, and a bit oblivious to the needs of others. I might even have railed about how he could never seem to close the closet door, made way too much noise getting dressed in the morning while I was still sleeping, and had a lot of double standards when it came to spending money. But that was then.


        In the fall, when Mark’s cancer started taking its toll, I stopped complaining about the chores he didn’t do. I never asked about the thousands of dollars he spent on the studio he built. I didn’t complain about him spending too much time with his band or working in the studio. I never questioned his love or his commitment to me. 


        Since his passing in January, I’ve noted some extreme shifts in my perception of who Mark was. As Christen and I prepped his obituary, I was reminded of his many accomplishments. The attendance at his memorial service and wake was a powerful symbol of the many lives he touched in so many different ways. I was proud of him. You might even say I glorified him. I became consumed with continuing his legacy – making sure the world found him as worthy as I did. I jumped at the idea when a friend suggested starting a scholarship in Mark’s name at the college we both attended and where he taught. I even explored the possibility of taking over his music publication and revising a textbook he once wrote. 


        Luckily, I was smart enough to know that I shouldn’t jump into any commitments right away. Grieving can make us do impulsive and irrational things, and I knew that taking on some of those projects might mean biting off more than I could chew. I decided to wait, see how things played out, and revisit the ideas when I was more stable.  In the meantime, the weeks went by, and I passed through other phases of grief that brought on different feelings, like anger and guilt. I saw things he did in a different light and felt cheated by the time he spent with the countless others who came to visit when I thought he should have been spending that time fully engaged with his family. I was angry about the money he paid to build a studio he would never use. When tax time rolled around, I was frustrated by his lack of detail and preparation, leaving me to hunt for receipts and guess what his expenses were, not to mention footing the bill.


        Most days, I’m somewhere in between. I remember the fun times we had, and I desperately long to be with him and share with him all the things that constitute my life these days, but I also remember that life wasn’t always rosy and sweet. There were ugly fights and even days when it felt like the only thing to do was give up. I know those things happened, but I don’t really remember them. All those fights are irrelevant now. They were probably irrelevant back then. But now that he’s gone, it is especially true. The things I remember about our life together are the important things: the plans we made, the love we had, the laughter we shared, and the family we raised. Most of the rest is washed away by the grief and by time, and the labor pains of trying to make two lives work together as one subside and are forgotten. Planning a wedding can be stressful and painful, but it can also be the best day of your life. In the end, what we remember is the lovely memories of our wedding day, and maybe some of the funny things, too, but hopefully, the rest is all forgotten just like everything else that doesn’t really matter. And that’s the way it should be.


        Wednesday, April 10, 2024

        Heard it on the Podcast - April 10, 2024

         

        Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we do most Wednesdays to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here's the links for this week:

        10-Apr-2024

        S4E15: Wedding Planning

        Pinterest was a great source of ideas for planning both Christen's and Amber's weddings. Here's some of the boards we used:

        Some of Amber's vendors included:

        Christen's Venue:  
        Cindy's Crafty Neighbor Blog Posts about weddings:

        Friday, April 5, 2024

        Words Have Power!

         


        In our weekly podcast, Amber, Christen, and I talk a lot about manifesting our best lives and that we use scripting or journaling to set our intentions. We also write out affirmations and gratitudes. I, for one, do a lot of writing; I generally have 7-8 journals going at any given time, each with its own specific purpose and style, so I’m always looking for new journals to track my progress, set my intentions, log my tarot layouts, and more.



        One of the journals I use is our Modern Musings’ Words Have Power journal. It was designed for scripting and has 86 lined pages, making it perfect for my daily Gratitude and Affirmation practice. 



        Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning S.A.V.E.R.S inspired this practice. Each morning, after my prayers and meditation, I write out three things I am grateful for, three things I would like to accomplish, and one affirmation. It’s a great way to start my day with gratitude and intention.


        In another journal, I document my accomplishments at the end of the day. I find that I have some pretty high expectations about how much I should accomplish in one day – it’s never limited to the three things I list in the morning. My to-do lists read more like War and Peace, and I tend to beat myself up over the tasks I don’t complete. But when I think long and hard, I know that I’ve accomplished a lot, often finishing tasks that weren’t even on the list in the first place. So, rather than be angry with myself for not managing to do x, y, and z, I started a practice of cataloging everything I accomplished at the end of the day. Wow, was that an eye-opener! When I end my day by listing everything I did, whether it was on my to-do list or not, I feel much more productive, and I can go to sleep knowing that I've done my best.


        Do you script or journal? If not, I highly recommend it! To begin your scripting or journaling practice, try one of our Words Have Power journals, which are now available on Amazon.com:


        https://a.co/d/aNQFkFP

        https://a.co/d/2MCw0Dn

        https://a.co/d/0M736E6





          5 Ways to Manifest Your Best Life

          Hi there, and welcome back! Since we have been heavily focusing on goals and planning, I thought we should discuss manifesting. I love this ...