Women in STEM

Hello everyone! Last Saturday (February 11) was International Day of Women and Girls in Science. This week on the podcast, we are looking at women in STEM and talking about the movie Hidden Figures. If you need clarification on what STEM means, it means Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math.

International Day of Women and Girls in Science is an annual observance adopted by the United Nations in 2015 to promote equal access to women in STEM fields. In comparison to males, women are largely underrepresented in the science and technology fields. But why are women so denigrated in these fields?

According to the United Nations, only one in three scientific researchers are women, and when they are able to research, they are given smaller grants than men. Women are also easily passed over for promotion compared to men and their research careers tend to be shorter. Women are particularly unaccounted for in the scientific field of Artificial Intelligence at only 22%. The United Nations attributes the low number of women working in STEM-related fields to gender stereotypes as the main cause.

Sima Bahous, head of the UN Women, the UN entity dedicated to gender equality and empowerment of women, states that gender stereotypes can be “found embedded in curricula, textbooks, and teaching and learning practices. The choices imposed upon girls in school shape their careers and employment opportunities as adults.” Bahous believes that the only way to change the picture for women in STEM is a “paradigm shift” which includes acknowledging and removing potential barriers that hinder women’s progress in STEM careers. Bahous also believes that “educational reform” is also needed to foster curiosity in scientific discoveries. Aside from educational reform, other ways schools can recruit future female scientists include scholarships, internships, mentorships, and incentives. 

These things are a good start for an education in STEM but encouragement at home is also needed. In my personal experience, I was never encouraged to pursue a career that was in a male-dominated field. My parents only encouraged me to pursue a “female career” such as teaching and nursing, and encouragement definitely starts at home. When I was a child, I raised and bred rabbits. My constant work with animals began an interest in veterinary sciences at a young age. If you had asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was always a veterinarian, which was a highly male-dominated field at the time (the late 90s), according to an article by Today’s Veterinary Practice. 

Today, however, women veterinarians dominate over men at a whopping 63% according to the American Veterinary Medical Association. Eventually, I gave up on science and started pursuing writing (which was also discouraged by my parents) and eventually a teaching certification. I wish that I had been encouraged to pursue science when I was younger.

I still enjoy science, especially astronomy, and psychology. I hope to one day get my Master’s degree in psychology with a focus on school counseling. One of my goals for this year is to complete my essay and start applying for Spring 2024.

I would like to hear from our readers. Have you seen the movie Hidden Figures? Do you enjoy science? What female pioneers in the scientific field do you admire the most? Please, let’s continue the conversation below!

My Favorite Obscure Stories About Heroes

This week on the podcast we talked about superpowers. This concept always amazes and fascinates me. I love reading stories and watching shows about superheroes. Some of the most popular shows and movies today are about superheroes and I love them, especially Marvel Superheroes. X-Men, to be exact. While popular, Marvel superheroes are not my favorite superhero stories. I prefer some of the everyday stories about heroes not necessarily wearing capes.

My favorite obscure TV shows about heroes:
The Gifted: Remember this show? It exists in the X-Men universe. It’s about two parents who go on the run after discovering their children have mutant abilities. The show aired for two seasons on Fox and I was enthralled by it. I enjoyed the everyman aspect of the father (played by Stephen Moyer) discovering that he had mutant children in a world where mutants are hated. The concept applies to real life where anything different than the normal is generally hated. I felt like the show was canceled too soon, and I found both seasons to be enjoyable.

Heroes: Heroes is, and always will be, one of my favorite superhero shows. The show is about ordinary people who discover they have extraordinary abilities told in a comic book style. Some of my favorite characters include Syler (the villain turned hero), Peter (the hero with all of the abilities), Claire (the strong cheerleader), and Hiro (the man who could stop time). This show, in my opinion, emulates the rise and fall of good television and the pressures of some stories to remain popular after they have outplayed their popularity. It also represents how a show cannot bounce back from unfortunate events. Altogether, the show boasted five seasons aired on NBC including a short-lived reboot series. The fate of this show was purely circumstantial, and I believe that it could have been a longer-lived show if the second season hadn’t been a victim of the 2007-08 Writers’ Guild of America Strike.

Alphas: Alphas is a superhero/crime drama that follows a group of individuals with superhuman abilities as they investigate the crimes of other “Alphas.” This show aired on the Syfy network and only lasted two seasons as well, despite having a great cast led by David Strathairn. Unfortunately, as with the cast of a lot of TV shows that I like, the show was a victim of the second season rating slump after starting strong. What I liked the most about the show was that it was action-packed and the superhero element wasn’t at the forefront of the story as the main characters worked for the department of defense and aimed to take down terrorists.

My favorite obscure movies about heroes:
Push: Push is a 2009 movie about ordinary people with superhuman abilities banding together against a government agency seeking to enslave them to create super soldiers. In my opinion, this movie does not get the credit it deserves. It also boasts an all-star cast including pre-Captain America Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning. The film didn’t do well at the box office and it earned a B movie rating, but I still enjoy watching it. This is another low-budget wasted potential project that let the backstory and character development fall through the cracks in the editing process. 

Chronicle: Chronicle was a beautifully filmed found footage movie following three Seattle seniors (including Michael B. Jordan) who gain telekinetic powers from an unknown object. They begin to chronicle their rise to superherodom until one of the three boys begins to use his powers for evil. What I like most about this movie is that it shows the dark side of having superpowers and flirts with the thin line between good and evil with a single act.

The Watchmen: This is another film that shows the dark side of having superpowers. This movie is set in the alternate historical year 1985 and follows the second generation of superheroes called The Watchmen during a time when it is illegal to be a superhero (or vigilante). The movie was beautifully filmed and features one of my favorite actors, Jeffery Dean Morgan. Although the film didn’t get much credit for the masterpiece that it is, it did spawn a TV show that aired on HBO and lasted one season.

My favorite obscure book series about heroes:
The Darkest Minds: The Darkest Minds is a young adult series by Alexandra Bracken about a group of children who develop psychic powers. The children were rounded up by the government and placed in rehabilitation camps. The story centers on Ruby, who can control people, which makes her one of “the darkest minds.” Ruby escapes from the camp with the aid of a group that seeks to advocate for psychic children, but at the same time, use them for political reasons. The series follows Ruby as she runs from the government and tries to free her fellow teens from rehabilitation camps. I enjoy this story because it takes a different perspective on unwilling superheroes and illuminates the struggle a teenager goes through to be seen and heard in a world that takes teenage voices for granted. In 2018, a movie version of the first book in the series hit the theaters to bad reviews and criticism.

Dark Visions: This is one of my favorite young adult series by L.J. Smith. The series follows a group of teenagers living in an institute for psychic abilities. As the series progresses, the teenagers learn that the institute only exists to use the teens’ psychic abilities as weapons for unnamed corporations. The story centers on Kaitlyn, who can see the future. Kaitlyn and the other members of the institute escape and join with allies to help defeat the institute and their army of dark psychics. The first book in the series was the first of many books I read by L.J. Smith and it quickly became a favorite series of mine. The series features a cast of characters from many interesting backgrounds and perspectives and focuses on the dark side of human experimentation.

Dirk and Steele: “The Dirk and Steele” series is an adult romance series by Marjorie M. Liu. The series follows a supernatural detective agency called Dirk and Steele and its various members with hidden supernatural abilities as they navigate the modern world in hopes to make it a better place. Each book in the series focuses on a different character, and as the series unfolds, the secrets of Dirk and Steele unfold as well. I like this series because it perfectly mixes science fiction, fantasy, and romance. Each book has a powerful storyline and a unique perspective from the main character.

Stories about heroes, villains, and vigilantes continue to fascinate me, especially the obscure ones that sometimes fall through the cracks. I want to hear from our readers. What are your favorite superhero movies, books, or tv shows? Do you like mainstream superhero stories or obscure ones like I do? Let’s continue the conversation below.

Saying Yes to Big Change

Yesterday on the podcast we celebrated 50 episodes! We talked about our favorite episodes that we have recorded so far. One of my favorite episodes and blogs that I’ve written thus far on my Modern Musings journey has been our episode about Cups. In my blog, I wrote about how I refilled my cup with positive energy after years of tragedy.

One of the things I wrote about in my earlier blog was that I tried new things whether I felt comfortable or not, and I have continued that sentiment. When I was younger, I felt trapped. It wasn’t that I was physically trapped but mentally trapped by the things going on in my life. I felt like I couldn’t get out and do something because I had no money or I had people that I had to take care of, so I couldn’t spend time and effort on myself. I believed that I had to put myself last for many years. One of the scariest things that I’ve done is start over from scratch at the age of 37, and it has been an absolutely crazy but enjoyable ride since. Instead of saying “no,” I said “yes”, and my life needed more YES.

In the past two years, I have said “yes” to many things, and most of them have been positive (but not all of them). In my experience so far, saying “yes” to opportunities often leads to more significant possibilities. In the past year, I have said yes to two major events in my life: starting Modern Musings and marrying Jason.

Christen and I have been best friends for 20 years. In fact, we met 20 years ago in the college dorms and spent most of our college experiences together. In a sense, we “grew up” together. I had the privilege to be Matron of Honor at her wedding, and she will, in turn, be Matron of Honor at my wedding next year. Starting a podcast was just something that Christen and I played around with on our occasional girls’ night, but we weren’t sure how to get started. On a separate occasion, Christen had the very same talk with her mom, Cindy, and Modern Musings was born.

I live a very busy life as a teacher that spans all hours of the day, from getting parent phone calls in the middle of the night to emergency weekend Zoom meetings, so I wasn’t sure how I could fit anything extra into my life. It was rocky at first, especially when it came to writing these blogs. When my mom got sick, I gave up on my writing for many years. Once I developed a routine, writing became easier for me. When it became time for us to record our first episode, I was nervous. I never liked being put on the spot, and while I had natural conversations with people in real life, wearing recording equipment while having a conversation was daunting. I barely talked during our first few podcast episodes. Over time, it has become easier, but I still get nervous. Now, I look forward to recording our weekly podcasts.

Next week, Jason and I will be celebrating the one-year anniversary of his asking me to be his girlfriend officially. Just shy of our 11-month anniversary, he asked me to marry him on a dock looking over the ocean on our summer vacation in Gulf Shores, Alabama, and I said yes. We met each other in the spring of 2021 by chance and became friends. At the time, I was finalizing my divorce and wasn’t even thinking about my next relationship or marriage. Several months later, he asked me out on an official date, and I said, yes. He took me to a gastropub near my house, and we spent hours talking and laughing. The date went so well, he asked me on a second date and then a third date, and the rest is history. One of my students asked me recently why I chose Jason. I told him that I have never laughed as much as I do with Jason, I have never felt more relaxed or myself as I do with Jason, and I’ve never had as much fun as I do with Jason. Saying “yes” to Jason has opened my life up to new and exciting adventures, whether it is spending a great night cooking together, going on a day trip to different museums, or attending a baseball game. When we started dating a year ago, we agreed to have no bad days and we haven’t. Yes, we have our ups and downs, but we always end every day on a good note.

I want to hear from our readers. What is something in the past year that you’ve said “yes” to that has changed your life? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments or in our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Pet Peeves

Yesterday, the podcast Modern Musings talked about pet peeves. It was a fun discussion, but it also made me realize that I have a lot of pet peeves. One would even say that my pet peeves have pet peeves. I joke…I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and when you have OCD, your life is a pet peeve.

What is OCD? According to the National Institute of Mental Health, ”Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a common, chronic, and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and/or behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.” People can have mild to severe cases of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. 

I feel like my tics are not life-altering, just annoying sometimes. I first noticed that I had odd tendencies when I was very young. I would get hyper-fixated on certain things. For example, I was obsessed with making lists and checking things off my list. I also had to have everything in alphabetical order. I would spend days alphabetizing and re-alphabetizing my books, movies, and magazines. There was nothing more satisfying to me than putting things in their place and having them organized. Over the years, I’ve found that without organization, life sometimes falls apart. Over the last eight years, I’ve also learned that sometimes you have to readjust your perception of how things should be and when to fight your battles.

My biggest OCD-related pet peeves:

• The trash should be in the trash can. I am so obsessed with this that I will throw trash away that’s not trash. My OCD has gotten me into trouble in the past. I have gotten so hard into “throwing away trash” mode that I have thrown away checks, important bills/papers, and keepsakes. In my classroom, if students leave their homework on the desk or the floor, I will throw it away (I do give them a disclaimer about this at the beginning of the year). One of the major problems I had with my ex-husband stemmed from his trash-hoarding (another form of OCD).
• The dishes should be in the sink. One thing I can’t stand is going to another person’s house and seeing dishes sitting everywhere. If the dishes are in the sink, I’m okay with it. But if they are sitting around the house, I fight the compulsion to take their dishes to the sink. If I have finished with a dish, I try to take it to the sink immediately. If I don’t, I will stare at it until it is in the sink.
• Dirty clothes should be in the hamper. That is another thing I can’t stand when I go to another person’s house. However, I don’t have an urge to pick up others’ dirty clothes. I can’t stand touching another person’s dirty clothes, especially if they smell like body odor. On the flip side, I won’t let anyone else touch my dirty clothing either.
• Pet hair on my skin or clothes. I know you are saying, “but you have four cats!” Just because they have insane amounts of hair (and compulsively shed in the summer) doesn’t mean I don’t love my cats (or anyone else’s pets). I have separate sets of clothes. Clothes I wear out and clothes I wear at home. I wash both sets of clothes separately. I have multiple sets of sheets and blankets that I am constantly washing to keep down the pet hair. I also groom my cats regularly to keep the hair at bay. If I go to a person’s house with pets, I am mindful of where I sit or what I wear. My reaction also stems from having a mild allergy to pet hair. I obsessively wash my arms and face if I feel hair sticking to them and making them itch.
• Stains on my clothes. This problem came to the forefront recently when I was on vacation. Jason and I ordered a seafood boil to share. I typically buy clothes in mixed patterns and avoid wearing solid colors because mixed patterns tend to hide stains on shirts better. So, I wore a solid shirt, not thinking about the restaurant where we were going to be eating. The boil we ordered was swimming in a butter sauce, and Jason immediately dug in, not caring if he stained his shirt (he usually only wears black anyway). By the end of our meal, I was freaking out because my shirt had stains all over it. I went to the bathroom and compulsively scrubbed the shirt in hopes the stains would not stick. I felt embarrassed afterward because I was having lunch with his family and I felt like they were looking at me oddly with my wet shirt (they weren’t).
• Food in my teeth. Like the stains on my clothes, this drives me crazy. If I am out and about and I do not have dental floss on me, I will not order something that I know will get in my teeth, otherwise, I will pick at my teeth until my teeth are bloody from trying to get out whatever is stuck in them. For this reason, I refuse to eat popcorn, whether it is a flavor I like or not. The memory of popcorn getting stuck in my teeth prevents me from eating it. I don’t like seeing food in other people’s teeth, either.
• Body odor. I do not have a good sense of smell. There are certain things I cannot smell and, in return, taste because I do not have a good sense of smell, except when it comes to body odor. If someone is not wearing deodorant or did not brush their teeth, I can smell it. I might not be able to smell dinner, or the flowers Jason buys me, but I can smell if you didn’t take a shower. I also take extra pains to make sure that I do not have body odor, myself. I compulsively shower and wash my hair at least once a day because I do not want to appear dirty or greasy. Back when I weighed over 400 pounds, my doctor commented on my obsessive cleanliness because she had never met someone of my size so clean.

This is not all of my pet peeves, and I am far from a perfectionist, which is one of the common misconceptions about someone with OCD. I don’t care if I cut straight, draw straight, or hang pictures on my wall straight. I cannot color inside the lines, and I don’t have a problem if my furniture or spice cabinet is aligned a certain way (just whether my spice cabinet is in alphabetical order). I do find myself repeating things, counting over and over, and hyper-fixating on certain tasks, but nothing to the detriment of my life or health. Yes, I have a lot of pet peeves, but I can live with them.

I want to hear from our readers. Do you have any pet peeves? Do they affect your life? Please, comment below or continue the conversation on our Facebook group: MMC Chat.

My Cats

A Spiritual Journey

Religion is a touchy topic for most. I was in a physical fight once when I was a kid over the concept of life on other planets. In case you were wondering, I believe in life on other planets, and I defended my belief with a punch to the chest. The other person’s argument: if life existed on other planets, it would be mentioned in the Bible. As I said, a touchy topic.

I can only speak to my experience with religion because it directly influenced how I turned out and how I live my life now. That is to say, I don’t consider myself religious. Over the years, I have been called many things such as a “dirty Atheist” and a “devil worshiper,” but really I am none of those things. My beliefs are simply different than the average small-town person. That is where it all started…in a small town.

I was born a Southern Baptist. At least, that’s all I remember growing up. My parents weren’t very religious but my dad’s mom, Granny, took me to church every Sunday at a small, country, Baptist church. In that church, I only knew love, acceptance, and understanding. When I was in fourth grade, Granny moved to town, and we started attending the Baptist church near her house. The difference between the country church and the church in town was huge. For example, it wasn’t uncommon in the country for the farmers to wear overalls or dusty jeans to church, but in town, it was frowned upon if you dressed less than your “Sunday best.” I remember the church ladies treated Granny differently because she didn’t wear expensive dresses and was not perfectly made up. I noticed this type of prejudice at a young age as well as other subtle things within the church that were disagreeable to me.

At that young age, I began to question things about the beliefs that no one else around me seemed to question, like life on other planets, as well as the behavior and intolerance for anything different. At the same time, the young people were pressured to seal their beliefs through baptism. Enough was enough. I wanted to believe what I wanted to believe, and not what I was pressured to believe. I wanted to ask the big questions. I wanted to be spiritual in my beliefs and not confined by them.

What does it mean to be spiritual? According to Dr. Maya Spencer, “spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or sense or belief that there is something greater than myself, something more to being human than sensory experience, and that the greater whole of which we are part is cosmic or divine in nature.”

In other words, I believe there is more to the world than meets the eye, and I am still evolving and exploring my beliefs 28 years later. I was once told that because I was pressured into being baptized, I will always be a Christian and I can’t “take it back,” but the freedom of choice was taken from me in that regard. What I can choose is how I live my life in the here and the now while valuing myself and being open-minded to anything and everything that comes my way. That is the true lesson that I learned growing up in the church: what I did not want to be.

Would I be different if I grew up in a different Christian religion? Maybe. Probably not.

You are probably asking yourself, “what is her religion, again?” I don’t have one. My spirituality is a patchwork of many different beliefs, but I recently took a “What Religion am I?” quiz* (just for fun) and my result was: Mahayana Buddhism.

I want to hear from our readers. Are you spiritual? What does being spiritual mean to you? Let’s continue the conversation on our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.

*You can take the “What Religion am I?” quiz here.

Tea Pots and Toby Mugs

Hello everyone! On this week's podcast, we talked a lot about what is considered a collection. When I think of collecting, I always think of my mom. She always told me that everyone needs something to collect. As I grew older, I began to understand what she meant. Everyone does collect something even if they fail to realize it. My grandmother collected bells, my cousin collects snow globes, my coworker collects Pokémon cards, and my boyfriend collects horror movie memorabilia. What drives us to collect things?

When I was little, I was a novice collector of things such as rocks and crystals, pretty coins, and keychains. When I was in the second grade, my cousin gave me one of her old Archie comic books; I was instantly in love and wanted to read more. Every time we were at the grocery store and there was a new digest available, I would ask my mom to buy one for me. Through those newer comics, there were opportunities for me to order some by mail including back issues of my favorites. I loved everything about Archie and the dynamic he had with his friends and the sweet teen romances he had with Betty and Veronica.

In addition to the local bookstore, my mom would take me to vintage comic book stores to see if we could find older Archie editions. A few years later, I collected over 1,000 comics and various pieces of memorabilia. My friend Stacy and I started our own Archie Fan Club and we would read our books together while listening to “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies. It didn’t occur to me that the comics I collected might be worth something someday. I was collecting these books purely for fun.

As I grew older, I began to share my mom’s interest in antiquing, garage sales, and auctions. My mom was an avid collector of vintage Coca-Cola memorabilia herself. She also restored antiques as a hobby and resold them on eBay. It wasn’t until my mid 20’s that I (accidentally) started my antique collection, which evolved into a greater appreciation of the art of collecting.

I was sitting in my grandmother’s living room one day and I was admiring her teapots. They weren’t my grandmother’s teapots but my great-grandmother’s teapots on my grandfather’s side, and they had always sat on the top shelf of my grandmother’s built-in bookshelf. There were eight of them arranged perfectly, and I always noticed them – even when I was a kid. One was gorgeous (to me), and it had golden polka dots. I told her and my mom that I would like to inherit them one day when she was tired of them. At that point, I had been a casual teapot collector. I had a Snoopy teapot and a Cow Jumping Over the Moon teapot that friends had randomly given to me. I liked teapots, but it was the sentimental value of my great-grandmother’s collection that drew me, especially the shiny polka dots on the one that I specifically noticed.

Zodiac Teacup from my collection

Not long after that conversation, my mom took me to one of the monthly auctions in our hometown of Vernon, Texas. It was an estate auction and among the wares was a collection of vintage China teapots. My mom handed me some money and said I could bid on whatever I wanted, so I bid on those teapots and won. That started my strange journey in teapot collecting. While I do appreciate the art of collecting vintage items for resale like my mom did, this collection journey was purely for my decorative pleasure. Over the years, I have collected teapots from the many antique, auction, and thrift store outings with my mom, and I have been gifted teapots. My tastes also evolved from pretty, shiny teapots to weird and unique-looking ones.

Benjamin Franklin Teapot

In 2017, at an estate sale with my mom, I bought my first Toby Head. What is a Toby Head? According to the American Toby Jug Museum (yes, it exists), a Toby is a ceramic head molded in the form of a popular character, historical, fictional, or generic. Tobys do not have a specific manufacturer. Any ceramic head can be considered a Toby. That being said, I like unique Tobys. Since 2017, I have collected a number of Tobys in many forms from teapots to creamer jugs to mugs. My favorite find was a Benjamin Franklin teapot from a shop in McKinney, Texas called  The Groovy Coop. Recently, I found a pair of king and queen mugs on eBay.

Toby teapot and mug

Some of my mini Toby collection

Last year, after my divorce, I made the difficult decision to downsize many of the things that I had inherited or collected over the years, and my teapots and Tobys were not left unscathed. I only kept the ones that gave me a certain amount of pleasure and the very important ones that my mom and I curated. Now I keep the pure pleasure of my collection to a minimum.

So, what drives us to collect? Is it s psychological need to hunt and categorize or is it the pleasure of just having something sentimental? I believe that it’s both. My mom was right. Everyone needs to collect.

I want to hear from our readers. What do you collect and why do you collect it? Head on over to our Facebook Group: MMC Chat and continue the conversation!

*20 years later, my first-edition near-mint “Betty” comic book is worth $165 according to Nostomania.

The Ongoing Battle I Fight

Let me get one thing straight before I begin: I LOVE FOOD. My whole life I have been a foodie. I know this may sound weird because I grew up in a small town and the opportunities to try new things were limited. But I collected cookbooks and watched food shows dreaming of food adventures. We would eat at a “fancy” restaurant twice a year for my mom’s birthday and again on Mother’s Day, and I was always adventurous. Nowadays, eating adventurously is the norm for me, especially since my boyfriend of nine months is a chef. However, there’s one problem… I love food, but food does not love me.

Let’s talk genetics. Can we fight genetics? It’s similar to fate, right? I talked about my genetics in a previous blog and how unfortunate they were. For many years, being fat has been equated with being lazy or unhealthy. I can imagine people thinking “all she probably does is sit around and eat.” Until about 20 years ago, genetics wasn’t considered a reason some people were obese, especially healthy and athletic people. According to the article “Obesity and Genetics: Nature and Nurture,” about 43% of the population have the FTO gene that “predisposes them to gain excess weight.” In other words, if you are not careful to balance your life choices, you could easily gain weight. I used to joke that if I even looked at food, I would gain weight. If you looked at my family, you would see that many of them have fought the battle and lost.

These days, it is all about female empowerment and fat acceptance. Women are freer with their bodies, and they no longer feel like they need to cover up or wear a wardrobe that hides their curves. Growing up in small-town Texas, that wasn’t always the case. My grandmother saw early on that I had the predisposition to be a bigger child and she tried her hardest to steer me in the right direction. By the time I hit middle school, I had been through so many fad diets, and it grew worse as I got older. Aside from my weight gain, it was always a struggle to find nice outfits for a large female that weren’t geared toward an older woman. When I hit high school, I had no fashion sense. I wore “big and tall” t-shirts and bike shorts from the men’s section or oversized shirts with outdated flowers from the women’s department. The closest plus-size store for women was three hours away from where I lived, and we could only afford to drive that far once a year. A single shirt there usually cost around $50 and my family struggled financially, so, I made do.

Despite being overweight and bullied for it growing up, I was a pretty athletic child. The only sport I didn’t play (because it wasn’t offered) was soccer. I was even part of a running club in school called the “Elite Fleet.” None of this athleticism helped me lose weight. Aside from genetics, my family was poor, so we didn’t have the healthiest diet. My mom worked two jobs and oftentimes chose McDonald’s or cup noodles over cooking meals at home. If my mom worked late, I usually had cereal for dinner. Needless to say, my childhood was carb-heavy.

Because I was athletic and healthy, I maintained my weight throughout high school and continued to be pushed through fad diets by my grandma. For example, I was taken to weight-loss seminars, and hypnotherapists, and I was even taken to get my ear stapled once because it was said that the ear staple curbs hunger. According to the Mayo Clinic, “proponents of ear stapling claim that the staples stimulate a pressure point that controls appetite, leading to weight loss.” However, the Mayo Clinic says that ear stapling probably won’t work and it may cause ear infections. As I grew older, I developed a sense of body dysmorphia and depression that led to secret binge eating. I began to feel ashamed of my body, which worsened my depression and binge eating.

Throughout my life, I tried a few diets that did work, but they were never long-term solutions. For example, I tried Weight Watchers twice in my life, and both times it worked well. Weight Watchers is all about accountability and fellowship. If you are not familiar with the concept, you track your food using a point system. You go to weekly meetings and have weekly weigh-ins. The meetings and the weigh-ins held me accountable, and I lost weight doing the program. Unfortunately, programs like Weight Watchers can be costly, and after a time on the program, I wasn’t able to afford it anymore. I tried to keep up with the principles after I left the program, but the accountability was what originally kept me on the diet, and once on my own, I eventually lost my way.

Other diets/weight loss tricks I have tried unsuccessfully:

• Am 300
• Garcinia Cambogia
• Stacker 3000
• Adkins Diet
• Genesis Diet
• Juice Diet
• Herbalife
• Levell

 

In 2018, I started a low carbohydrate diet. The bane of my existence has always been sweets. Both of my parents were diabetic, and I knew I was headed toward that path. A low carbohydrate diet has been the most successful diet that I have been on to date. I don’t consider it a diet but more of a lifestyle change. I cut back drastically on eating sweets and added sugars, I focus mostly on getting protein in my diet and leafy green vegetables but that was only the stepping stone on my path to better health. I was slowly losing weight but not quick enough to better my health. 

 

My doctor suggested I have bariatric surgery and it was the hardest thing a binge eater could do, both emotionally and psychologically, which I will talk about in a future blog. Post-surgery I have consistently kept a low-carbohydrate diet and I have been successful at losing and maintaining since surgery, but every day is a constant struggle to go back to my comfort zone.

Things I do to try and maintain and continue to lose weight:

• Meal replacement shakes: This is mainly to keep my protein up, but a high protein shake in the morning helps me have a great start to my day.
• Small meals instead of large ones: Before surgery, I preferred to eat this way as well. If I eat small meals, I can maintain my energy and stay more alert.
• Limit what I drink to mostly water: I try to drink as much water as I can throughout the day. If I drink something besides water, it will be coffee or tea. Getting enough water is important to me because I feel crappy if I don’t drink enough of it.
• Cheat days are okay: One thing I’ve learned over the years is that an extremely strict diet will only backfire. So, I reward myself occasionally.
• If you fall off the wagon, pick yourself up: Every day is a new day! Don’t beat yourself up for gaining a pound or giving in and eating that slice of cake. You can start again tomorrow.
• Stay active even for a little bit: As a teacher, I move around a lot at work, which keeps me active. When I worked from home during quarantine, it was hard to stay active while sitting at a desk all day. Even if you just walk a little bit, staying active is important.

In conclusion, I am still learning the ins and outs of my body as I gain, lose, or maintain. There is never an exact science to weight loss that I have found. There also isn’t a quick fix. My best advice is to stay positive and always leave room for self-care. One of the biggest things I’ve learned throughout this journey is to love myself and the mess my body is and to strive for inner peace and not perfection.

I want to hear from our readers. What diets have you tried and failed at? Do you have any tips and tricks you would like to share? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments and on our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.