Sometimes We Have to Choose

All day every day we make decisions. Like, what are we going to wear or what are we going to eat for dinner? Life can be overwhelming. When life is overwhelming, even the smallest decisions can be tough decisions. Sometimes I scroll on Uber Eats for a couple of hours before I decide what I want to eat for dinner, and by the time I officially decide, I’m no longer hungry when it finally arrives. On the podcast, we talked about the decisions you have to make in life like sometimes you have to choose between brushing your teeth or taking a shower, and I’ve never felt that statement so hard until this year.

The evolution of my school year starts promisingly. I’m usually at school an hour and a half early and I leave an hour and a half later, mainly because there are so many things that I need to take care of at the beginning of the year such as unpacking my room and making lesson plans. I need that extra time. As the school year progresses, I begin to wake up later and arrive at work later. When November comes, I have to begin making those tough decisions. For example, do I park in the parking lot that I have to pay for, or do I leave the house earlier and park in the parking lot that my school pays for? Is that $12.99 worth arriving at work 10 minutes earlier? I suppose it depends on how late I am running. 

Last year, I had it down to an exact science. If I left the house at a certain time on certain days, I could walk into work and clock in right on time. However, if I pushed the envelope, traffic was not so kind when it came to my careful calculation. This year, so far, I have left the house early enough that I don’t have to pay for parking and I can socialize a bit before I jump right into teaching class.

Another morning-time decision I wrestle with is the decision to wear makeup or not. A lot of time those ten extra minutes of hitting snooze are the difference between looking professional and looking like a zombie. Oftentimes, I would take my makeup to work and do it in the bathroom between classes just to feel normal for the day. A lot of times, I never got around to doing my makeup. When I lived farther away from work, I had gotten into the habit of doing my makeup in the car or on the train in the mornings. Is the extra sleep worth it? I thought so. However, I tend to feel better about myself when I wake up in time to take care of things around my house and at school instead of rushing out of the house.

Finally, as the school year progresses, one of the biggest decisions that I have to make is whether to eat breakfast before school or not. Breakfast is the best meal of the day. In fact, I could eat breakfast food at any time of the day. In my years of teaching, I’ve never been able to wake up early enough to eat a full breakfast before I make it to work. I usually eat my breakfast in small bites throughout the day until it becomes my lunch and not my breakfast. One of my goals through PowerSheets® this year is to not hit snooze as much. Let’s face it, sometimes we have to hit snooze. I hit snooze a lot. So far, I haven’t met that goal.

Ultimately, my decisions boil down to sleeping in and getting up when I should be getting up in the morning. If I weigh the options, getting up when my alarm first goes off seems like a healthier and more productive choice, and it is something I’m working on being consistent about. 

I want to hear from our readers. What are the major decisions that you have to face in the morning? Have you set goals to alleviate those decisions? As the year progresses, do you find it harder and harder to make it to work on time? Let’s continue the conversation below!

Heard it on the Podcast - September 7, 2022

 

 

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here's the links for this week:

7-SEPT-2022

S2E37: Brush Your Teeth or Take a Shower?

• Colgate Whisps: Buy it on Amazon

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What Did Tyra Banks Choose?

Last fall, not long after Amber, Christen, and I decided we wanted to start a blog and podcast, I turned on the TV and caught the tail end of a local morning show interviewing Tyra Banks. The show was mostly background noise while I got squared away to do some work at my desk, but something the supermodel said caught my attention, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. The hostess asked the busy mom what her biggest challenge was, and Banks answered that some days it came down to a decision between whether to brush her teeth or take a shower. Now I don’t recall if that’s exactly what she said, and, honestly, I couldn’t even tell you what show she was on or even what station it was. The only thing that stuck with me was the concept of being so busy, so overcommitted, overburdened, and inundated with obligations that you don’t even have time for proper grooming. I’ve been there, and I bet just about every working mom in America (maybe the world) has been there (or something akin to it), too.

Rather than get off into a diatribe about why women seem to feel like we have to prove our worth by taking on everything and then beat ourselves up over it when we think we’ve failed (that is a whole episode of its own, girlfriend!), I want to talk about how we can stop this self-immolating behavior and bring a more realistic balance into our lives.

• Set boundaries and KEEP them! Others will stop expecting you to take on the world when YOU stop expecting it of yourself. No one is perfect, and forgetting to pay a bill or serving dinner an hour late does not make you a failure. Know what your limits are, and don’t let others push you beyond them. 

• Learn to say “NO!” and mean it. No means no. So when the PTA asks you if you can host the teacher luncheon at the last minute, do not let them pressure you into doing it. You are not their last and only hope. All those other people turned them down for a reason – they set boundaries and kept them. Say “no”, my friend, and don’t feel guilty about it at all. Your kids’ education will not suffer because you don’t have time to order catering.

• Use an Eisenhower matrix. Remember that Eisenhower matrix we keep talking about? List out your tasks and responsibilities (all of them!) based on whether they are urgent/not urgent and important/not important. Schedule anything important that you can postpone and then DELEGATE anything you can delegate – get it OFF your plate. That includes everything that falls into the “not important” category, leaving only the urgent and important tasks for you to tackle. Use the matrix DAILY if needed.

• Get realistic about what you CAN actually do. My therapist once asked me to make a timeline to prove to myself that my expectations were unreasonable. By writing out all the things that needed to happen and assigning time to accomplish them, I could see that I had taken on too much. I bet you will, too. Make a timeline and DOUBLE the time it takes to do each task. Yes, double. Tasks almost always take more time than we think they will. The bonus is that if you finish the task ahead of schedule, you’ve got some nice free time.

• Did I mention boundaries? I say it again because this is one area where we often tend to forget the rules. Remind yourself and remind your family, set expectations for their contributions, and hold them to the boundaries you have set.

• Create “ME” time for self-care. You should never have to choose between things that are necessary to your health -  they are your FIRST priority, before any of those other obligations. You cannot take care of others if you are falling apart yourself.

• Ask for help! Just because a task is YOUR responsibility does NOT mean you have to take it on alone. Running behind making dinner? Get your spouse or kids to lend a hand. Work has you stressed out? Maybe a coworker can pitch in to help you get caught up or can give you some tips on how to stay on top of things. Ask your child to alphabetize your filing or open the mail. Get your partner to help you make the bed or dry the dishes. Many hands make light work, and sometimes the act of doing those tasks together creates opportunities for communication and bonding. That’s a big win, my friend.

• Live a life of gratitude and forgiveness. Sometimes things fall through the cracks. Be gentle with yourself. None of us are perfect. Be grateful for what you have accomplished (make a list if you need to!) and forgive yourself for the rest. Tomorrow is a new day and another opportunity to start over again. 

I don’t know if Tyra Banks decided to brush her teeth or take a shower, but I don’t think that’s a decision anyone should ever have to make. This pressure that we put on ourselves to do ALL the things is not realistic, and it only hurts us in the end. We don’t have to be a perfect mom to be a GREAT mom, and there’s plenty of room to give ourselves grace and a realistic sense of what we can do. So the next time you feel pressure to get it all done at the expense of your own self-care, ask yourself, “Who is expecting me to do all this, and why?” Chances are, the answer is you.

Can you relate to Tyra Banks? Have you mastered the art of juggling your obligations without sacrificing self-care? We’d love to hear about it. Share your story in the comments below or over on our MMC Chat Facebook group.