What Do I Know?

  

This week, Amber introduced us to the subject of palmistry, and as I stated in the podcast, I know zip-zero-zilch about the subject. Nevertheless, we did have a lot of fun drawing lines on our palms with our pens and comparing what we saw there. I don’t know how much of what we learned was true, or whether it can predict your fate, but it’s often fun to explore different ideologies if for no other purpose than to firmly cement the things we do believe in. I also think that anything to do with spirituality, lifestyle, and goals is very personal and that we are free to pick and choose what works for us as individuals.

This idea reminds me of a sermon presented by Rev. Dennis Hamilton at the Horizon Unitarian Universalist Church here in Carrollton many years ago. Dennis is a former Jesuit priest and an eloquent speaker. The lessons he taught were almost magical, and always eye-opening. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t present this idea as gracefully as he did. I don’t know the exact date, but it was closing on the beginning of Hanukkah, and he spent a bit of time in a discourse about the Maccabees and the miracle of the oil, and how an obscure holiday has now become a Jewish favorite, encouraging hope, faith, family, community, and, of course, giving gifts for 8 days. Dennis wrapped up his sermon by bringing his lesson to the point: celebrating Hanukkah – or any other holiday, for that matter – whether you are Jewish or not, is not cultural misappropriation. 

No religion or belief system is as pure and undiluted as it was in the beginning; all religions and beliefs have been influenced, embellished, and altered over time. Cultures adapt and adopt the beliefs that are appropriate or that suit them until it becomes mainstream. He argues that as long as you stay true to your belief system, then it’s okay to celebrate Hanukkah or any other holiday. Several well-known cases in point include the Christian use of Christmas trees and Easter eggs, Hispanic/Latino Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead), and even Halloween*. Most of us don’t consider those things to be “idolatrous” or “satanic”, so, the use of divination such as palmistry, astrology, runes, cartomancy (such as Tarot), etc., is not either. If you think palmistry tells you about yourself, your past, or your future, then go with it – there are always lessons to be learned and powerful insights to be gained. And if you think it’s all just a fun game and that it was your friend pushing around that pointer on the Ouija board, that’s okay, too. We all get to create our own beliefs and find our own way, and no belief or spiritual practice is “right” or “wrong” or exclusive. You do you.

I don’t know if I believe in palmistry. As I mentioned, I don’t know that much about it. I do know that years ago, someone read me and told me things that I knew without a doubt were not true, but now, some 40 years later, I look at it again with fresh eyes and wonder. I know that I would love to have a transcript to look back and remember all of it just as I wish I had some record of every tarot reading and horoscope…it would be interesting to compare. For now, I will leave my mind open to the possibilities. Open to the idea that I don’t know everything. Open to the notion that I am still growing, learning, and finding my spirituality. It is always changing, contracting, expanding, absorbing, releasing, and developing, which is the essence of spirituality. I plan to embrace it. I hope you embrace your spirituality, too.

I encourage you to think about your own spirituality. What truths do you know? Where do you have room to grow? Are you open to digging deeper and learning more? Tell us about it in the comments below or start a chat about it in our MMC Chat Facebook group.

*For more about Pagan beliefs in our everyday lives, check out my blog “What is Pagan” on June 13, 2022.

A Spiritual Journey

Religion is a touchy topic for most. I was in a physical fight once when I was a kid over the concept of life on other planets. In case you were wondering, I believe in life on other planets, and I defended my belief with a punch to the chest. The other person’s argument: if life existed on other planets, it would be mentioned in the Bible. As I said, a touchy topic.

I can only speak to my experience with religion because it directly influenced how I turned out and how I live my life now. That is to say, I don’t consider myself religious. Over the years, I have been called many things such as a “dirty Atheist” and a “devil worshiper,” but really I am none of those things. My beliefs are simply different than the average small-town person. That is where it all started…in a small town.

I was born a Southern Baptist. At least, that’s all I remember growing up. My parents weren’t very religious but my dad’s mom, Granny, took me to church every Sunday at a small, country, Baptist church. In that church, I only knew love, acceptance, and understanding. When I was in fourth grade, Granny moved to town, and we started attending the Baptist church near her house. The difference between the country church and the church in town was huge. For example, it wasn’t uncommon in the country for the farmers to wear overalls or dusty jeans to church, but in town, it was frowned upon if you dressed less than your “Sunday best.” I remember the church ladies treated Granny differently because she didn’t wear expensive dresses and was not perfectly made up. I noticed this type of prejudice at a young age as well as other subtle things within the church that were disagreeable to me.

At that young age, I began to question things about the beliefs that no one else around me seemed to question, like life on other planets, as well as the behavior and intolerance for anything different. At the same time, the young people were pressured to seal their beliefs through baptism. Enough was enough. I wanted to believe what I wanted to believe, and not what I was pressured to believe. I wanted to ask the big questions. I wanted to be spiritual in my beliefs and not confined by them.

What does it mean to be spiritual? According to Dr. Maya Spencer, “spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or sense or belief that there is something greater than myself, something more to being human than sensory experience, and that the greater whole of which we are part is cosmic or divine in nature.”

In other words, I believe there is more to the world than meets the eye, and I am still evolving and exploring my beliefs 28 years later. I was once told that because I was pressured into being baptized, I will always be a Christian and I can’t “take it back,” but the freedom of choice was taken from me in that regard. What I can choose is how I live my life in the here and the now while valuing myself and being open-minded to anything and everything that comes my way. That is the true lesson that I learned growing up in the church: what I did not want to be.

Would I be different if I grew up in a different Christian religion? Maybe. Probably not.

You are probably asking yourself, “what is her religion, again?” I don’t have one. My spirituality is a patchwork of many different beliefs, but I recently took a “What Religion am I?” quiz* (just for fun) and my result was: Mahayana Buddhism.

I want to hear from our readers. Are you spiritual? What does being spiritual mean to you? Let’s continue the conversation on our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.

*You can take the “What Religion am I?” quiz here.

What is Pagan

Meditation is considered by many to be pagan.

If you’ve been reading the blog or listening to the podcast, you’ve probably seen or heard us mention things that fall into the category of “metaphysical”. Without a doubt, Amber, Christen, and I are fascinated by such things as astrology, numerology, tarot cards, spirit guides, holistic medicine, and many other aspects of what many would call “pagan beliefs”. I also consider myself a “Christian” because I believe in Jesus Christ as the son of God, and have been baptized as a pledge of that belief. For a long time, I was torn between my Christian beliefs and these so-called “pagan” practices. I had been taught that anything pagan was evil. But what exactly is “pagan”?

We talk more about the origin of the term “pagan”, which comes from the Latin word “paganus”, in the podcast, but the short explanation is that it was used to describe the simple country folk of the Roman Empire who had not yet embraced Christianity, and more strictly so, the people who still believed in the religions of ancient Rome and Greece. The term was later broadened to include a wide variety of religious beliefs and traditions including Buddhism, Hinduism, and, most especially, the ancient spirituality of the British Isles and Europe. In more recent years, it has been broadened further to include Native American traditions as well. As someone once told me, “Most people [incorrectly] use the term to include anything that isn’t in the Bible, and thus, isn’t Christian.”

Easter eggs, Halloween, Christmas trees, and even birthday cakes came from pagan practices.

The truth is, many people have no idea what paganism actually is, nor the differences between paganism, mysticism, spirituality, religion, and Wicca. I thought it would be a good idea to share some terminology with you. Two that seem to confuse people the most are spirituality and religion. I love the explanation given by Pamela Aloia in “Spirituality: The Path to Reconciling Religion and Energy Work.”1 She says, basically:

• Religion is the man-made portion of law, conduct, beliefs, and more surrounding the relationship with God [or other deities] that creates the boundaries within that sect of worship and ritual.

• Spirituality is the personal relationship we have with God that inspires worship and rituals outside of manmade laws and beliefs.

• Basically, spirituality comes from within and religion comes from without.

I like to think of spirituality as being in touch with my soul. It’s what helps me learn to appreciate the beauty that is all around me in the plants, animals, weather, and yes, even people of this earth. My spirituality is what allows me to appreciate all that I have and helps me learn to accept people as they are, life as it is, and the future as something I can help shape. My religion is what has taught me about the divine creator of this world and the magnificent gift of his own son in order for me to learn a better way and to pave my way for a life beyond this life I currently lead.

Like religion and spirituality, three other words that often get mixed up are paganism, mysticism, and Wicca. Here are the definitions. I’ve cited sources where possible.

• A Pagan is an unconverted member of a people or nation who does not practice Christianity, Judaism, or Islam, especially a follower of a polytheistic religion (as in ancient Rome), or one who has little or no religion and who delights in sensual pleasures and material goods – an irreligious or hedonistic person. Paganism is the beliefs or practices of someone who is pagan.2

• Mysticism is the belief that direct knowledge of God, spiritual truth, or ultimate reality can be attained through subjective experience.3

• Wicca is a religion influenced by pre-Christian beliefs and practices of western Europe that affirms the existence of supernatural power (such as magic) and of both male and female deities who inhere in nature and that emphasizes ritual observance of seasonal and life cycles.4

• Heathen refers to people or nations that do not practice Christianity, Judaism, or Islam, their religions, or their customs; an uncivilized or irreligious person.5

As you can see, these concepts are closely related, but really not exactly the same thing at all. One can be a Christian and still observe pagan or even mystical traditions. Many of the so-called “pagan” practices I have enjoyed are not religious at all and have no bearing on my religious beliefs, while many of the religious practices widely observed in America (like Christmas trees, Easter eggs, and Halloween) stem from pagan and even Wiccan religious rituals, yet they are enjoyed by Christians and non-Christians alike. I don’t have a problem with that at all.

What do you think? Do you practice any pagan-based holiday traditions? Has that interfered with your religious beliefs? Let us know. Join us in the Facebook group MMC Chat.

1. https://thriveglobal.com/stories/spirituality-the-path-to-reconciling-religion-and-energy-work/

2. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “pagan,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pagan.

3. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “mysticism,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mysticism.

4. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “Wicca,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Wicca.

5. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “heathen,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/heathen.

 

Are You Ready for Galentine's Day?

 Hi Friends!

This week on the Podcast and Blog we will be discussing Galentine’s Day. I had heard of Galentine’s day in the past, but I had never known exactly where Galentine’s Day came from. I have always enjoyed celebrating Valentine's Day with whomever – friends, family, or co-workers. I was always single, so I liked to give out valentines; it kept my mind from wandering and worrying if I was going to get any or not that year. My mom and a close friend always send me a Valentine every year, but you know, sometimes Valentine’s day can be lonely for some. 

That's exactly why I love the idea of Galentine’s Day! What better way than to lift your female companions’ spirits up, let them know you appreciate them, and send love out into the universe. I think we often get wrapped up in the expectation that Valentine’s Day is only for romantic love. It can be so much more – love for your friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, and even yourself.

My mom and I were talking the other day and we were speculating on when Galentine’s Day started. She had mentioned that there was an online article in Good Housekeeping insert link here) about it. According to the magazine, the first known mention of Galentine's day was in the TV sitcom Parks and Rec. I have not seen that show, but it is on my to-do list. The article mentioned that the character took all her girlfriends out to brunch and showered them with gifts and lengthy love letters. Doesn’t that sound fun?

Prior to COVID and the lockdown, I was an Employee Engagement committee member for the company that I work for. One of my main responsibilities was to come up with fun, engaging activities for the employees that promoted team building and gratitude for each other. We especially loved Valentine’s day as we would decorate the break room with gigantic hearts, flowers and balloons, and people would wear pink and red. We would also have a competition, where each employee got a white or brown paper lunch sack. They had several days prior to decorate their sack. The committee would then go around and vote on the most creative for a prize. Employees also got the chance to go around to everyone’s desk and give out candies, Valentines cards, and little goodies. It was like being in school again. And seeing all the personalized notes from coworkers, professing their platonic love for you, just really sends you home for the day with a huge smile on your face. It also gave employees the chance to express gratitude for one another without feeling awkward or singling people out; it could be done with a cute note taped to a pencil or lollypop. 

Some of the cute bags that my co-workers made!

Unfortunately those days have passed. Now that the opportunities for me to bond with my co-workers have become more virtual, I have clung tighter to my inner circle of friends more than ever. That inner circle, my girl tribe, my besties, are the women who lift me up when I am down, and I would not be able to survive without them. So, this year we are going all out for my girlfriends this year. I have some handmade Galentine’s Day cards that I have made. I also have a little gift baggie to present to each of them. I enjoy putting together little party favor bags. I guess that’s something I missed from working in the office, too. Since we will be celebrating Galentine’s Day with our girlfriends by having brunch on the 13th, we won’t have the opportunity to decorate goodie bags. I am going to present a hand made bag for each of my gals. Each bag will be all cutsied up with hearts, paper doilies and glitter! I have not finished purchasing my contents for my bags, but I am thinking some fuzzy socks, a few pieces of candy, maybe a cute pencil and some girl power products will be great. I have about 10 bags that I want to make, so I have to keep my budget in mind. I also have  to prepare for Reyna’s school Valentines party. 

Regardless of the gift or the budget that you have, anyone can celebrate their gal pals. Sometimes a heartfelt note, a hug or your devoted time is what lets people know you care. Have you ever celebrated Galentine’s Day or something similar? Are you planning anything for the 13th? Has COVID changed the way you celebrate? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments. And even if you are not planning on celebrating with friends this year, don’t forget to love the person who needs it the most, yourself. 

Finding the Fire

I am new to the subject of PowerSheets®. I recently received my first ever PowerSheets® goal planner for my birthday from Cindy. We can all agree that for most, 2020 was chaotic and I’m not proud to say that I didn’t come out of my quarantine a more well-rounded/creative person as most of my friends did. It was a very dark and revealing time for me. At the end of the year, Christen took me aside and introduced me to a creative outlet I could bring with me into 2021 which was the idea of creative goal setting.

PowerSheets® teaches you that to live your passion, it means to live for something worthwhile, knowing that it may cost you something. Living your passion is making bold decisions and enduring challenges, but experiencing the happiness that it brings you afterward.

When you are first setting up your PowerSheets®, it asks you “What makes you come alive?” When you use these worksheets, you really have to sit down and think. It takes goal setting to a new level. 

First, let’s break this down: what makes you come alive? When I see this, it makes me think, what gets me up out of my chair/bed and motivates me to live my day. What are my passions? PowerSheets® then asks you a series of questions to come up with the right answers. When answering these questions, keep your one word in mind. In a previous blog, I told you my one word is “inspire.”

PowerSheets® asks you if you’ve lost your passion. If you haven’t, that’s great! Make a list of your passions and motivations. If you have, begrudgingly admit it. I admit for several years I lost my passion for most things. I decided at the beginning of 2021 that I would get back to me and I DID.

Once you’ve answered that question, PowerSheets® asks you how you feel most days. Lately, aside from school, I feel tired, but I also feel like every day is a new day with new possibilities and new opportunities. Yes, I am overwhelmed and exhausted, but the day still brings possibilities. So back to that first question, what fires me up? What makes me excited?

• Education: I believe that everyone deserves an equally great education.
• Love: I love LOVE...definitely, a hopeless romantic.
• Family/friends: I couldn’t live without them.
• My cats: a huge motivation for me because they are my fur babies.
• The Boyfriend: as of this week, we are three months and going strong.
• My students: they motivate me every day in so many ways because I want to inspire them to be their best selves.
• Reading/Books: one of my favorite pastimes is reading.
• Makeup artistry: one of my new hobbies has been eye makeup artistry. I am still in the experimental stages.
• Writing/blogging: yes, this blog is motivating, as well as the poetry I actively write.
• Coffee: another one of my favorite things to do is try new coffee spots around the DFW area and post about them on my Instagram blog @Ms.Garvin.Writes.
• Cooking/baking: I am a huge fan of the show Top Chef and Food and Wine Magazine. I am always looking for new recipes to try. Years ago, when I was living with my mom and grandma, I would experiment with recipes. My grandma called it “gourmet” cooking because I cooked things that she didn’t normally eat like French Onion Soup from scratch.
• The Arts: without the arts, where would we be as a society?
• Trying new things: this is a broad category, but I am a life-experience junkie. I am always on the lookout for the next cool thing to try, whether it is a new restaurant or staying in a hotel treehouse (bucket list), I want to try it.
• Living a healthy lifestyle: this is a big one for me. Over the last three years, I have lost around 200 pounds and endless amounts of clothing sizes. I want to keep it off as well as maintain an active lifestyle.

Once you have your power list of motivations, you can begin your PowerSheets® journey. What are you passionate about? Let me know in the comments.

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Power Planning with PowerSheets®

Two weeks ago, we shared with you how we use a word of the year to enhance our lives. Rather than setting resolutions that will soon be broken, we choose a word to name our focus, and then incorporate it into everything we do. But having a power word is not enough. To manifest a better life, we can’t just think about what we want for the new year — we need to have a plan. This week, we are talking about building on that one little word by setting goals to cultivate our best life, particularly through the use of PowerSheets®.

I will admit, I’m pretty much a newbie to PowerSheets®. My friend, Brandi, tried to introduce them to me many times over the years, but I was reluctant to add yet another “hobby” or something more to keep up with, and I really didn’t understand the value of buying another “planner” or a bunch of worksheets. I felt like I already knew how to set goals and make task lists. But then our friend Susan introduced me to vlogger Cindy Guentert-Baldo (see links, below), and everything changed.

Cindy Guentert-Baldo can be found on YouTube.com. The videos I started with are 2021 Goal Setting – PowerSheets Prepwork and 2021 Goal Setting – My 2021 Goals.

Cindy has a YouTube channel where she shares her adventures in planning and goal setting — mistakes and all. But before you head off to watch her videos, let me warn you, CGB has a penchant for dropping the “F-bomb”, so if you are highly averse to cursing, Cindy is not for you. If you can get past that, or if you just don’t care, then you really should watch these videos I’ve linked below; Cindy has a great way of explaining the whole process while she walks you through her own work in her PowerSheets®. (And for the record, no, I’m not offended by cursing; I just warn you because I was caught completely off-guard by it in my first viewing.) She’s actually quite funny, and I enjoy watching her videos a lot.

I think I mentioned in our One Little Word® podcast that my word of the year for 2020 was “clarity”, and I started out (pre-COVID) with the intention of doing some deep soul-searching. I was at a crossroads, and I felt like I had no direction. But setting my sights on clarity and working on my OLW project just wasn’t enough. So many things changed, and the time I thought I would have to meditate and examine my navel just never came to be. By mid-January, I was already drowning in the responsibilities of caring for my mother who has dementia, and by March we were dealing with a world-wide pandemic that not only decimated my career as a travel agent and crafting event planner, but also wiped out my husband’s income as well. We were in a full-blown crisis. Needless to say, “clarity” did not do much for me that year except to make me realize that clarity isn’t something that just comes to you — it’s something you have to “Explore”.

Brandi bought my first PowerSheets® Intentional Goal Planner as a gift, and when I opened it, my first thought was, “Oh, geez, this is going to be a lot of work.” It took me a couple of weeks to get up the nerve to start working in it, but I took my time, watched CBG’s videos, and eventually got into the swing of it.  I think I caught up to the rest of the world in late January, and after that, I started happily setting and refreshing goals on a regular basis. The whole process has completely changed my outlook on goal setting, and has made a huge difference in my life.

PowerSheets® is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. Designed by Lara Casey, PowerSheets® takes you from the most basic brainstorming techniques right up through monthly, weekly, and daily action plans called “Tending Lists”. It’s all part of the “Cultivate What Matters” community that’s all about positive and powerful change in our lives and around the world. According to the website, the idea is to “uncover what truly matters and do something about it,” and “this powerful goal planner will help you set, plan, and track progress toward the goals that matter most—big or small, the things you’ve always wanted to do.”

I was hesitant at first, but as you can see, less than a year into this process, I am a full-blown proponent. I found the in-depth worksheets to be straightforward, practical, and convenient. The goals I’ve set using PowerSheets® have enabled me to start a family game night, plan several family campouts and outings, sell my mother’s house and get her settled into a long-term memory care facility, begin the process of rebuilding my travel business, pivot the focus of my crafting business into something much more enjoyable and sustainable, clean and reorganize my home, and focus more time and energy on my health, writing, crafts, and other forms of self-care. In short, it’s been pretty amazing. The whole system is so easy and effective! 

Whether you have one goal or many, big dreams or little plans, I heartily encourage you to take a look at PowerSheets®. You can see an unboxing video of my 2022 PowerSheets® workbook on my YouTube site. Now is a great time to get started for 2022, and you can go at your own pace. It’s a great way to manifest what you want in your life and really cultivate what matters most.

Cultivate What Matters® and PowerSheets® are the trademark of Lara Casey Media. You can learn more about both at CultivateWhatMatters.com

Four Christmases

Hey this is Amber Garvin with my first official blog post and I’m here to talk about grief during the holidays. The subject is hard for me because I don’t have a family in a traditional sense anymore. Both of my parents have recently passed away, and I am newly divorced. So, in a sense,

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” – Vicki Harrison.

The holidays are coming, and it is not my favorite time of the year. In the past, I looked forward to November and December. Not just because I am a teacher and I get some much-needed time off work but also because I got to spend time with my family. I come from a very traditional family. On Thanksgiving, we had turkey and dressing at my Maw Maw’s house sitting around my great grandmother’s table eating family style. My family always had at least four kinds of pie on Thanksgiving as well. After dinner, we would play board games with football playing in the background. My mom, cousin, and I also have November birthdays, so we usually celebrated our birthdays on Thanksgiving as well.

Christmas was a big deal in my family also. Every year, we picked out a real Christmas tree from the local tree farm and we decorated it together as a family. I’m an only child so it was just my mom, dad, and me. Every year my mom and I also made Christmas cookies and candy together to wrap and deliver to extended family and friends. Christmas was my mom’s absolute favorite time of the year, and she went out of her way to make it special for everyone throughout the years. Her favorite thing to do (and she did this well into my adult life) was play the role of Santa for my dad, Maw Maw, and me. In the early hours of Christmas morning, she would fill the family stockings with various knickknacks and would place bigger presents under the Christmas tree. I remember the Christmas after I became a teacher, “Santa” surprised me with office supplies for my classroom. Around noon on Christmas Day, my whole family would gather at my Maw Maw’s house, and we would have a family gift exchange. These gifts were usually handmade, or food related of some kind. Food gifts were also a huge tradition in my family. Every year, my mom was always the one to pass out the gifts as well. The holidays were special.

My dad died in 2017 and in 2018 my mom died just a little over a year later. The Christmas after my mom died, I obsessively tried to fill her shoes as “Santa.” I went over the top with gifts and baking. In my grief, I tried to make it seem like there weren’t two giant holes in the holiday. In the year after my mom’s death, my ex-husband and I fell out with the rest of my family due to grief and differences of opinion. In 2019, I had decided to forgo the holidays and my then-husband, and I took my Maw Maw to a casual diner for a Christmas lunch. We didn’t exchange presents at all that year.

The last picture taken with both of my parents: Christmas of 2016

In 2020, amid the pandemic, I had a lot of time for clarity and self-reflection. I was finally able to deal with my grief over the loss of my parents. My ex-husband and I had also separated right before the holidays as well. 2020, was looking to be another year of holiday avoidance. At the same time, I didn’t want to avoid them. I was ready to take my grief head on and channel it into something more positive. The holidays are overwhelming as it is but adding grief to the mix can make them unbearable for most. In November of 2020, I began to make amends and my extended family was happy to welcome me back into the fold. Once I became open to trying new things, I realized that I wasn’t as alone as I thought.So, in 2020, I started new traditions with four Christmases. 

The key to coping with grief is to not completely abandon your old traditions. Last year, I decided to mix old traditions with new traditions to see where I would end up. The week before Christmas, I made around 200 Christmas cookies to wrap for family and friends, then on Christmas Eve, I began a three-day long trek across Texas to get my holiday groove back. 

I started in Carrollton with my Modern Musings family. Cindy and Christen have been inviting me to their family Christmas for years but this year I completely immersed myself into their traditions of gingerbread house building (my first one ever), Christmas caroling, and Christmas Eve pajamas. It was like we had been having Christmas together for years and I was grateful for the love that my Modern Musings family has shown me. Next, I went to my hometown of Vernon and spent Christmas morning with my childhood friend Stacy and her family. For dinner, I went to my cousin Stephanie’s house. I had not seen her and her family much after my mom’s death. Some of my extended family I was seeing for the first time in two years, but it was like I had never broken tradition. My family welcomed me back with open arms and open hearts. We had dinner, played board games, and exchanged food gifts. My cousin Steven even showed the family his new hobby of axe throwing, which may just become a new family get together tradition. Finally, I was invited to my extended cousin Lavonna’s house the day after Christmas for a family get-together that I have never attended. 

I went through many stages of grief in the years after my parents died and my marriage fell apart. For a long time, I was scared of new traditions and opted to avoid the holidays altogether. I realized that aside from hurting myself in avoiding the holidays, I was also hurting the extended family and friends that wanted to see me and experience their traditions with me. My takeaway is that it’s okay to start new traditions after tragedy. It’s okay to keep old traditions. It’s okay to combine traditions to whatever works for you. For the longest time I avoided the people that loved me because I was grieving, and I was being unfair to myself. I’m not sure what I will do this year for the holidays, but I take comfort in the fact that so many people have been there for me in the past year, and it makes me feel less alone and more hopeful for the future.

The holidays are hard when you’ve lost loved ones, but you are not alone. What are your favorite holiday traditions? Have you experienced the same things that I have? I want to know. Comment below or e-mail me at info@modernmusings.net.

Excuse Me...

Hey this is Cindy Murray and I wanted to pop on here for a minute to tell you about a little segment that we will do from time to time that we call “Excuse Me While I Read My Tarot.” This series is a fun excursion into the art of tarot reading and the many ways we use it to look deeper inside ourselves and enhance our daily lives. But before we get started, let’s take a look at some common misconceptions about tarot cards and how they are used.

Reading tarot cards is a popular practice and different people use Tarot readings in different ways. Some historians speculate that tarot cards may have started in ancient Egypt, but in the strictest sense, tarot originated as playing cards in 15th century Italy, and were used to play games not unlike the traditional playing cards many people use today. In fact, the original cards are still used today in many parts of Europe to play various card games without occult associations, and other than a 15th century sermon by a Dominican preacher who condemned them for their use in gambling, they were not really censured at all until more modern times.

Fortune-telling with cards, called cartomancy, began some time in the 14th century and eventually found its way to the Tarot and other decks of cards, including the common playing cards used in America today. Sometime around the 18th century, Tarot decks began to be produced specifically for these card-reading purposes. One of these, the Rider-Waite tarot deck, is quite famous and is often the one that comes to mind for people here in the U.S. This deck was first published in 1909 and contains a bounty of religious symbolism, including Judeo-Christian icons, as did many of the preceding decks. Imagery includes the Pope (later renamed the Heirophant), the Papess (renamed the High Priestess), Adam and Eve, the Devil, angels, and crosses. The cards are really just a very elaborate “symbol code that depicts universal and natural laws and principles that are shared by all the world’s great religio-spiritual traditions.”

So enough of all that history! Let’s talk about what’s going on with tarot cards today! While many practitioners interpret the cards as a form of divination, or fortune-telling, just as many (or more) use the cards as a sort of cue or prompt for daily insight and enlightenment. Much in the same way a therapist might use a Rorschach ink blot, the interpretation of the symbolism on the cards can be a useful tool to examine the beliefs, behaviors, and thought patterns of the individual. As stated by the tarot for dummies website (cited below), “The purpose of a tarot reading is to help you see your past and present thoughts, words, and behaviors more objectively.”

For me, personally, I like to look at the cards as a good way to start my day with a little mindfulness and reflection. I certainly don’t see them as anything at odds with my Christian beliefs, and I know a good number of Christian faithful who use tarot cards. However you want to interpret the cards, we hope you will enjoy what we have to share and will accept our readings with the spirit in which they are given.

Information in this article came in part from:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarot

https://www.dummies.com/religion/paganism/correcting-major-misconceptions-about-tarot/

https://tiffanyleebrown.com/tarot-religion

If you would like to learn tarot, this is a great website:

https://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/