This week we are talking about all things self-care on the blog and podcast. This is a subject that I could just talk and talk or (write and write) on and on about. I hope you got to listen to the podcast on Wednesday; I think that it is one that anyone could benefit from. Many people think of self-care as pampering yourself with manicures, facials and beautification. It can be those things, if that is what you need, but it can be so much more if you are willing to take the deep dive inwards.
One of my favorite categories of self-care is personal development or self improvement. When I think of personal development, I think of setting goals, educating myself, and holding myself up to a certain standard or personal expectation. In the practice of selecting a word of the year, I give myself a goal to develop myself within the construct of the multiple definitions of that word. My objective for my word is for it to elevate my life in those areas.
In keeping with the idea that the word is intended as a self-care tool, I recommend choosing a word that is unstinting. Any practice of self-development that does not uplift you is not good self-care. Pay attention to the programs, videos, tips and advice floating around out there on the internet. If it is not designed to nurture you, it could be harmful to your self worth. You may be choosing a program that encourages you to look inward with feelings of self doubt, shame, or feelings of failure to accomplish.
The past few years, I have picked words with my One Little Word project that encouraged me to change my behavior, reprogram some of my less favorable habits, and work hard to improve myself. This year, however, I wanted to choose a word that allowed me to pamper myself, rather than challenge my boundaries. I found that last year and the years before, I was inadvertently using my word to beat myself up about something that I was not. For example, I chose the word change in 2018. That year, I did encounter many changes in my life. Ultimately, I was disappointed when I came out at the end of the year as the same person, and I shouldn't have felt that way. Another fellow One Little Word participant mentioned that these types of words are abusive words, and I can agree! If someone else was telling me to be this word change, I would not appreciate their advice and I would be hurt that they would insist on me changing who I was. If they encouraged me to adapt, evolve, flex, modify or adjust, I might take their advice with a little hopefulness, instead of begrudging them.
With that being said, and all my resentment over my word Rise in 2022, I came to a quick and easy determination – I wanted a fun word this year! For 2023, I specifically chose a word that I believe encourages me to go easier on myself. I selected Enjoy this year as it has many facets, and I can incorporate it within many focal areas of my life: home, work, family, friends, and physical health, to name a few. I would like to think that Enjoy is an easy-going, fun word, but there is also room within the word to work on my mindset.
I am sure that you all are familiar with our segments on the podcast in which we reviewed Eckart Tolle’s “A New Earth”. One of the major takeaways for me was living in the now, and not letting my inner voice be overly concerned with what I could be doing instead of what I was actually doing. For example, sometimes I will be at work, knee deep in a special project and my mind will wander off into something else that I have going on at home. I work from home, so this can be a major distraction for me. I find my mind pulling towards anything and everything that is not the task at hand. I understand now that it is my ego deflecting and me not being fully present and accepting what I am working on. My mind is trying to focus on something else because I am not happy doing the task at hand. I know that not every single second of my day at work, for example, is going to be amazing and fun. That is just the reality of the job, however I can do what I am doing to my best ability and focus on what I do enjoy about the task. One of my least favorite things to do is review calls for my employees. I listen to the recorded call and then provide detailed feedback regarding their call. The act of listening to the call is tedious and sometimes boring. What I do enjoy about my job though, is helping people. I remind myself that by reviewing the calls and providing feedback, I am helping people and doing something that I love. This is already helping me by reminding me that it is a labor of love, just as someone who loves to ride horses and care for them might not like shoveling poop in the stalls, but they do it anyway.
I want to curate the things in my life that I enjoy, not just with work, but my leisure time as well. I have been working in excess for the past 5 months, and I am in desperate need to dial it back. I am looking forward to honing in on what I truly love, spending more time with myself and by myself. I am excited to spend more dedicated time on my hobbies. This much needed rest, rejuvenation and introspective time is fully in alignment with self-care.
Have you picked out your word of the year? Have you ever considered if any of your goals or word of the year were abusive, unrealistic, or counterintuitive, leaving you feeling unaccomplished? If so, I encourage you to take a more gentler approach and give yourself some grace this year. We have gone through so much, and we all need a little pampering on the inside and outside every now and then.
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