Heard it on the Podcast - March 4, 2026

  

 

 

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

4-MAR-2026

S6xE9: Swedish Death Cleaning

In this episode, we talk about Swedish Death Cleaning after Amber read "Nobody Wants Your Sh*t" by Messy Condo. We explore the idea of clearing out your belongings so your loved ones don’t have to, why it’s harder than it sounds, and how letting go of “stuff” can actually feel freeing. It’s an honest, practical conversation about decluttering, legacy, and keeping what truly matters.

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Here are the links from this episode:

• "Nobody Wants Your Sh*t" by Messy Condo

Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

Women in STEM

Hello everyone! Last Saturday (February 11) was International Day of Women and Girls in Science. This week on the podcast, we are looking at women in STEM and talking about the movie Hidden Figures. If you need clarification on what STEM means, it means Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math.

International Day of Women and Girls in Science is an annual observance adopted by the United Nations in 2015 to promote equal access to women in STEM fields. In comparison to males, women are largely underrepresented in the science and technology fields. But why are women so denigrated in these fields?

According to the United Nations, only one in three scientific researchers are women, and when they are able to research, they are given smaller grants than men. Women are also easily passed over for promotion compared to men and their research careers tend to be shorter. Women are particularly unaccounted for in the scientific field of Artificial Intelligence at only 22%. The United Nations attributes the low number of women working in STEM-related fields to gender stereotypes as the main cause.

Sima Bahous, head of the UN Women, the UN entity dedicated to gender equality and empowerment of women, states that gender stereotypes can be “found embedded in curricula, textbooks, and teaching and learning practices. The choices imposed upon girls in school shape their careers and employment opportunities as adults.” Bahous believes that the only way to change the picture for women in STEM is a “paradigm shift” which includes acknowledging and removing potential barriers that hinder women’s progress in STEM careers. Bahous also believes that “educational reform” is also needed to foster curiosity in scientific discoveries. Aside from educational reform, other ways schools can recruit future female scientists include scholarships, internships, mentorships, and incentives. 

These things are a good start for an education in STEM but encouragement at home is also needed. In my personal experience, I was never encouraged to pursue a career that was in a male-dominated field. My parents only encouraged me to pursue a “female career” such as teaching and nursing, and encouragement definitely starts at home. When I was a child, I raised and bred rabbits. My constant work with animals began an interest in veterinary sciences at a young age. If you had asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was always a veterinarian, which was a highly male-dominated field at the time (the late 90s), according to an article by Today’s Veterinary Practice. 

Today, however, women veterinarians dominate over men at a whopping 63% according to the American Veterinary Medical Association. Eventually, I gave up on science and started pursuing writing (which was also discouraged by my parents) and eventually a teaching certification. I wish that I had been encouraged to pursue science when I was younger.

I still enjoy science, especially astronomy, and psychology. I hope to one day get my Master’s degree in psychology with a focus on school counseling. One of my goals for this year is to complete my essay and start applying for Spring 2024.

I would like to hear from our readers. Have you seen the movie Hidden Figures? Do you enjoy science? What female pioneers in the scientific field do you admire the most? Please, let’s continue the conversation below!

My Favorite Obscure Stories About Heroes

This week on the podcast we talked about superpowers. This concept always amazes and fascinates me. I love reading stories and watching shows about superheroes. Some of the most popular shows and movies today are about superheroes and I love them, especially Marvel Superheroes. X-Men, to be exact. While popular, Marvel superheroes are not my favorite superhero stories. I prefer some of the everyday stories about heroes not necessarily wearing capes.

My favorite obscure TV shows about heroes:
The Gifted: Remember this show? It exists in the X-Men universe. It’s about two parents who go on the run after discovering their children have mutant abilities. The show aired for two seasons on Fox and I was enthralled by it. I enjoyed the everyman aspect of the father (played by Stephen Moyer) discovering that he had mutant children in a world where mutants are hated. The concept applies to real life where anything different than the normal is generally hated. I felt like the show was canceled too soon, and I found both seasons to be enjoyable.

Heroes: Heroes is, and always will be, one of my favorite superhero shows. The show is about ordinary people who discover they have extraordinary abilities told in a comic book style. Some of my favorite characters include Syler (the villain turned hero), Peter (the hero with all of the abilities), Claire (the strong cheerleader), and Hiro (the man who could stop time). This show, in my opinion, emulates the rise and fall of good television and the pressures of some stories to remain popular after they have outplayed their popularity. It also represents how a show cannot bounce back from unfortunate events. Altogether, the show boasted five seasons aired on NBC including a short-lived reboot series. The fate of this show was purely circumstantial, and I believe that it could have been a longer-lived show if the second season hadn’t been a victim of the 2007-08 Writers’ Guild of America Strike.

Alphas: Alphas is a superhero/crime drama that follows a group of individuals with superhuman abilities as they investigate the crimes of other “Alphas.” This show aired on the Syfy network and only lasted two seasons as well, despite having a great cast led by David Strathairn. Unfortunately, as with the cast of a lot of TV shows that I like, the show was a victim of the second season rating slump after starting strong. What I liked the most about the show was that it was action-packed and the superhero element wasn’t at the forefront of the story as the main characters worked for the department of defense and aimed to take down terrorists.

My favorite obscure movies about heroes:
Push: Push is a 2009 movie about ordinary people with superhuman abilities banding together against a government agency seeking to enslave them to create super soldiers. In my opinion, this movie does not get the credit it deserves. It also boasts an all-star cast including pre-Captain America Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning. The film didn’t do well at the box office and it earned a B movie rating, but I still enjoy watching it. This is another low-budget wasted potential project that let the backstory and character development fall through the cracks in the editing process. 

Chronicle: Chronicle was a beautifully filmed found footage movie following three Seattle seniors (including Michael B. Jordan) who gain telekinetic powers from an unknown object. They begin to chronicle their rise to superherodom until one of the three boys begins to use his powers for evil. What I like most about this movie is that it shows the dark side of having superpowers and flirts with the thin line between good and evil with a single act.

The Watchmen: This is another film that shows the dark side of having superpowers. This movie is set in the alternate historical year 1985 and follows the second generation of superheroes called The Watchmen during a time when it is illegal to be a superhero (or vigilante). The movie was beautifully filmed and features one of my favorite actors, Jeffery Dean Morgan. Although the film didn’t get much credit for the masterpiece that it is, it did spawn a TV show that aired on HBO and lasted one season.

My favorite obscure book series about heroes:
The Darkest Minds: The Darkest Minds is a young adult series by Alexandra Bracken about a group of children who develop psychic powers. The children were rounded up by the government and placed in rehabilitation camps. The story centers on Ruby, who can control people, which makes her one of “the darkest minds.” Ruby escapes from the camp with the aid of a group that seeks to advocate for psychic children, but at the same time, use them for political reasons. The series follows Ruby as she runs from the government and tries to free her fellow teens from rehabilitation camps. I enjoy this story because it takes a different perspective on unwilling superheroes and illuminates the struggle a teenager goes through to be seen and heard in a world that takes teenage voices for granted. In 2018, a movie version of the first book in the series hit the theaters to bad reviews and criticism.

Dark Visions: This is one of my favorite young adult series by L.J. Smith. The series follows a group of teenagers living in an institute for psychic abilities. As the series progresses, the teenagers learn that the institute only exists to use the teens’ psychic abilities as weapons for unnamed corporations. The story centers on Kaitlyn, who can see the future. Kaitlyn and the other members of the institute escape and join with allies to help defeat the institute and their army of dark psychics. The first book in the series was the first of many books I read by L.J. Smith and it quickly became a favorite series of mine. The series features a cast of characters from many interesting backgrounds and perspectives and focuses on the dark side of human experimentation.

Dirk and Steele: “The Dirk and Steele” series is an adult romance series by Marjorie M. Liu. The series follows a supernatural detective agency called Dirk and Steele and its various members with hidden supernatural abilities as they navigate the modern world in hopes to make it a better place. Each book in the series focuses on a different character, and as the series unfolds, the secrets of Dirk and Steele unfold as well. I like this series because it perfectly mixes science fiction, fantasy, and romance. Each book has a powerful storyline and a unique perspective from the main character.

Stories about heroes, villains, and vigilantes continue to fascinate me, especially the obscure ones that sometimes fall through the cracks. I want to hear from our readers. What are your favorite superhero movies, books, or tv shows? Do you like mainstream superhero stories or obscure ones like I do? Let’s continue the conversation below.

Gaming: A Way to Come Together

I’ve been thinking a lot about games lately and what they represent. Games have different connotations for everyone. When I think about games, I think of them as a way to come together and have fun. Whether it’s in the classroom or at a family reunion, games bring people together. This week on the podcast, we are talking about games and gaming. Games and healthy competition with my family and friends enhance my life for the better.

When I was a kid, my parents loved to play games. One thing I remember most from my childhood is my parent’s Atari®. I still remember touching it when I was a child, I wasn’t sure what all the buttons were or what all the games were but it was easy for a young child to hook up and turn on. My two favorite games on the Atari® were Space Invaders® and Asteroids®. Almost every weekend, my parents and I would have an Atari® tournament.

My mom had a notepad that we kept our scores in along with the date that we played. The objective was usually to play as long as we could and the day's highest score won. I remember one stormy Saturday when both of my parents were in a competitive mood. I think they both played Asteroids® for hours straight trying to beat each other’s high scores.

The spirit of gaming with my parents evolved as game consoles evolved. Soon, my parents bought an original Nintendo® and we added Doctor Mario® to our game tournaments. As I grew older, my best friends would stay the night on the weekend and enter the game tournaments. 

In middle school, I received a Nintendo 64® for Christmas and the tradition continued with games such as Diddy Kong Racing® and Mario Kart 64®. My friends and I would sit down with my parents and race each other in racing tournaments at least one weekend a month. My dad and I would get insanely competitive with each other on our game nights. We were constantly playing, trying to beat each other’s high scores. We continued the competition well into my college years. When I would come home to my parent's house on the weekends, I would find that my dad had beaten all my high scores during the week, and the competition would be on again.

Game tournaments were one of the ways my family came together and bonded after a week of grueling work and school, and they were weekends I looked forward to growing up. Nowadays, I don’t play many video games, but I look back fondly on the time I did with my parents growing up.

I want to hear from our readers. What types of games do you play? Do you have tournaments with your family and friends? Let’s continue the conversation below or on our Facebook group: MMC Chat

Saying Yes to Big Change

Yesterday on the podcast we celebrated 50 episodes! We talked about our favorite episodes that we have recorded so far. One of my favorite episodes and blogs that I’ve written thus far on my Modern Musings journey has been our episode about Cups. In my blog, I wrote about how I refilled my cup with positive energy after years of tragedy.

One of the things I wrote about in my earlier blog was that I tried new things whether I felt comfortable or not, and I have continued that sentiment. When I was younger, I felt trapped. It wasn’t that I was physically trapped but mentally trapped by the things going on in my life. I felt like I couldn’t get out and do something because I had no money or I had people that I had to take care of, so I couldn’t spend time and effort on myself. I believed that I had to put myself last for many years. One of the scariest things that I’ve done is start over from scratch at the age of 37, and it has been an absolutely crazy but enjoyable ride since. Instead of saying “no,” I said “yes”, and my life needed more YES.

In the past two years, I have said “yes” to many things, and most of them have been positive (but not all of them). In my experience so far, saying “yes” to opportunities often leads to more significant possibilities. In the past year, I have said yes to two major events in my life: starting Modern Musings and marrying Jason.

Christen and I have been best friends for 20 years. In fact, we met 20 years ago in the college dorms and spent most of our college experiences together. In a sense, we “grew up” together. I had the privilege to be Matron of Honor at her wedding, and she will, in turn, be Matron of Honor at my wedding next year. Starting a podcast was just something that Christen and I played around with on our occasional girls’ night, but we weren’t sure how to get started. On a separate occasion, Christen had the very same talk with her mom, Cindy, and Modern Musings was born.

I live a very busy life as a teacher that spans all hours of the day, from getting parent phone calls in the middle of the night to emergency weekend Zoom meetings, so I wasn’t sure how I could fit anything extra into my life. It was rocky at first, especially when it came to writing these blogs. When my mom got sick, I gave up on my writing for many years. Once I developed a routine, writing became easier for me. When it became time for us to record our first episode, I was nervous. I never liked being put on the spot, and while I had natural conversations with people in real life, wearing recording equipment while having a conversation was daunting. I barely talked during our first few podcast episodes. Over time, it has become easier, but I still get nervous. Now, I look forward to recording our weekly podcasts.

Next week, Jason and I will be celebrating the one-year anniversary of his asking me to be his girlfriend officially. Just shy of our 11-month anniversary, he asked me to marry him on a dock looking over the ocean on our summer vacation in Gulf Shores, Alabama, and I said yes. We met each other in the spring of 2021 by chance and became friends. At the time, I was finalizing my divorce and wasn’t even thinking about my next relationship or marriage. Several months later, he asked me out on an official date, and I said, yes. He took me to a gastropub near my house, and we spent hours talking and laughing. The date went so well, he asked me on a second date and then a third date, and the rest is history. One of my students asked me recently why I chose Jason. I told him that I have never laughed as much as I do with Jason, I have never felt more relaxed or myself as I do with Jason, and I’ve never had as much fun as I do with Jason. Saying “yes” to Jason has opened my life up to new and exciting adventures, whether it is spending a great night cooking together, going on a day trip to different museums, or attending a baseball game. When we started dating a year ago, we agreed to have no bad days and we haven’t. Yes, we have our ups and downs, but we always end every day on a good note.

I want to hear from our readers. What is something in the past year that you’ve said “yes” to that has changed your life? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments or in our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.

Tea Pots and Toby Mugs

Hello everyone! On this week's podcast, we talked a lot about what is considered a collection. When I think of collecting, I always think of my mom. She always told me that everyone needs something to collect. As I grew older, I began to understand what she meant. Everyone does collect something even if they fail to realize it. My grandmother collected bells, my cousin collects snow globes, my coworker collects Pokémon cards, and my boyfriend collects horror movie memorabilia. What drives us to collect things?

When I was little, I was a novice collector of things such as rocks and crystals, pretty coins, and keychains. When I was in the second grade, my cousin gave me one of her old Archie comic books; I was instantly in love and wanted to read more. Every time we were at the grocery store and there was a new digest available, I would ask my mom to buy one for me. Through those newer comics, there were opportunities for me to order some by mail including back issues of my favorites. I loved everything about Archie and the dynamic he had with his friends and the sweet teen romances he had with Betty and Veronica.

In addition to the local bookstore, my mom would take me to vintage comic book stores to see if we could find older Archie editions. A few years later, I collected over 1,000 comics and various pieces of memorabilia. My friend Stacy and I started our own Archie Fan Club and we would read our books together while listening to “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies. It didn’t occur to me that the comics I collected might be worth something someday. I was collecting these books purely for fun.

As I grew older, I began to share my mom’s interest in antiquing, garage sales, and auctions. My mom was an avid collector of vintage Coca-Cola memorabilia herself. She also restored antiques as a hobby and resold them on eBay. It wasn’t until my mid 20’s that I (accidentally) started my antique collection, which evolved into a greater appreciation of the art of collecting.

I was sitting in my grandmother’s living room one day and I was admiring her teapots. They weren’t my grandmother’s teapots but my great-grandmother’s teapots on my grandfather’s side, and they had always sat on the top shelf of my grandmother’s built-in bookshelf. There were eight of them arranged perfectly, and I always noticed them – even when I was a kid. One was gorgeous (to me), and it had golden polka dots. I told her and my mom that I would like to inherit them one day when she was tired of them. At that point, I had been a casual teapot collector. I had a Snoopy teapot and a Cow Jumping Over the Moon teapot that friends had randomly given to me. I liked teapots, but it was the sentimental value of my great-grandmother’s collection that drew me, especially the shiny polka dots on the one that I specifically noticed.

Zodiac Teacup from my collection

Not long after that conversation, my mom took me to one of the monthly auctions in our hometown of Vernon, Texas. It was an estate auction and among the wares was a collection of vintage China teapots. My mom handed me some money and said I could bid on whatever I wanted, so I bid on those teapots and won. That started my strange journey in teapot collecting. While I do appreciate the art of collecting vintage items for resale like my mom did, this collection journey was purely for my decorative pleasure. Over the years, I have collected teapots from the many antique, auction, and thrift store outings with my mom, and I have been gifted teapots. My tastes also evolved from pretty, shiny teapots to weird and unique-looking ones.

Benjamin Franklin Teapot

In 2017, at an estate sale with my mom, I bought my first Toby Head. What is a Toby Head? According to the American Toby Jug Museum (yes, it exists), a Toby is a ceramic head molded in the form of a popular character, historical, fictional, or generic. Tobys do not have a specific manufacturer. Any ceramic head can be considered a Toby. That being said, I like unique Tobys. Since 2017, I have collected a number of Tobys in many forms from teapots to creamer jugs to mugs. My favorite find was a Benjamin Franklin teapot from a shop in McKinney, Texas called  The Groovy Coop. Recently, I found a pair of king and queen mugs on eBay.

Toby teapot and mug

Some of my mini Toby collection

Last year, after my divorce, I made the difficult decision to downsize many of the things that I had inherited or collected over the years, and my teapots and Tobys were not left unscathed. I only kept the ones that gave me a certain amount of pleasure and the very important ones that my mom and I curated. Now I keep the pure pleasure of my collection to a minimum.

So, what drives us to collect? Is it s psychological need to hunt and categorize or is it the pleasure of just having something sentimental? I believe that it’s both. My mom was right. Everyone needs to collect.

I want to hear from our readers. What do you collect and why do you collect it? Head on over to our Facebook Group: MMC Chat and continue the conversation!

*20 years later, my first-edition near-mint “Betty” comic book is worth $165 according to Nostomania.

According to Astrology...

I don’t want to just throw out my exact age here since I am considered the “maiden”, but I’m going to because the reason that I am the maiden is that I’m the youngest, I’m unmarried, and I don’t have any children (unless you count my students). I also look at life with a sense of childlike wonder which hasn’t changed no matter how many things get thrown at me. That, being said, I was born on November 28, 1983. Why is this significant? Knowing the predictions behind your birthday can be incredibly important.

What even is astrology anyway?  On our upcoming podcast, we will define astrology and discuss the meanings behind it. Is astrology pseudoscience? Does it predict the future? According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, it is a “type of divination that involves the forecasting of earthly and human events through the observation and interpretation of the fixed stars, the Sun, the Moon, and the planets.” Astrology is very old. It has been around since ancient Babylon (18th century B.C.). I cannot say whether astrology predicts the future or not, but I can tell you what it says about me.

My Life Path Number is 6: Life Path numbers help you figure out where you are going in life and help you understand deeper aspects of your personality. Being a 6, I have the compulsive need to change the world creatively. I have a desire to uplift and inspire others and I am seen as a stabilizer and a problem solver, according to Christine DeLorey of Creative Numerology. You can calculate your number here.

My Zodiac Sign is Sagittarius: Zodiac signs can give you an insight into your basic personality traits (for better or worse). Sagittarius is the ninth zodiac sign and it stretches from November 21-December 21. According to Sarah Regan of Mind Body Green, a Sagittarius is always seeking freedom and adventure but they are also very stable and rational. My strengths are adaptability, generosity, and a great sense of humor while my weaknesses are impatience and the fact that I say what’s on my mind too much.

Sagittarius is a Fire Sign: Each of the 12 astrological signs falls under one of the four elements which are earth, air, fire, and water. According to Sarah Regan of Mind Body Green, fire signs are “passionate, dynamic, and temperamental.” Fire signs are high-energy and tend to move at a faster pace than other signs. Fire signs also tend to be more impulsive than other signs.

The Sagittarius symbol is The Archer: The archer's arrow is always pointing upwards which means that Sagittarius is always aiming higher in life whether it is spiritually, emotionally, or financially. The arrow pointing up also “expresses wisdom and honesty” according to Astrostyle.

My Ruling Planet is Jupiter: Every Zodiac sign has a ruling planet and your ruling planet influences how your sign is expressed. The planet Jupiter, in astrology, is associated with luck, optimism, and positivity. According to Andrea Lawrence of Exemplore, Jupiter influences activities, and encourages goal-setting, chasing dreams, curiosity, and risk-taking. Jupiter is a ruling planet for knowledge-seekers.

My birthstone is Topaz and Citrine: Birthstones represent a person’s birth month. According to Farmer's Almanac, topaz symbolizes love and affection, and citrine can calm and heal. I often wear a citrine necklace or carry citrine with me for personal healing and good vibes. It just so happens that it’s my birthstone, and its color is amber, like my name.

I was born on a Monday: The day of the week you were born can also hold significance according to Vedic Astrology. According to Dr. Pratibha Singh of Eastrohelp, people born on Monday make unpredictable and emotional decisions over practical decisions. People born on Monday are also very creative, romantic, and can be very jealous lovers. Monday-born people can also be quite vengeful if they are stabbed in the back. Oftentimes, Monday’s child thrives in problem-solving careers.

I was born in a Waning Crescent moon phase: According to MoonGlow, the lunar personality of a Waning Crescent Moon is that of a “thinker.” People love to talk to “thinkers” because they make great conversation and are good listeners. Aside from that, people born during a Waning Crescent moon have a creative way of thinking (or overthinking), are artistic, imaginative, and can easily come up with creative solutions to problems.

I was born in The Year of the Water Pig: Per the Chinese Zodiac, “Pigs are diligent, compassionate, and generous. They have great concentration: once they set a goal, they will devote all their energy to achieving it. Though Pigs rarely seek help from others, they will not refuse to give others a hand. Pigs never suspect trickery, so they are easily fooled.” Pigs are also calm in the face of trouble, can handle problems carefully, and have a great sense of responsibility to finish what they start. 

My Lasso of Fate is The Lovers Tarot card: “The Lovers tarot card denotes someone who makes choices from the heart. This is someone who needs to emotionally and intellectually connect to every aspect of their lives,” according to Astronumerology.

There are many debates and theories on astronomy. One could say that you could change aspects of your personality to align with your horoscope. Is this an exact science? No, it isn’t. Is it fun? Yes, it is. Astrology combines some of my favorite parts of divination. If someone who knows me reads this, they would probably say all of the things above describe me. Is it fate? Was I born to be the way that I am? Astrology says yes. It’s all about perspective. Coincidence? You decide. I don’t even ready my horoscope regularly.

I want to hear from our readers. How much faith do you put in astrology? Let’s continue the conversation in our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.

House of Cards

My eyes are open and the alarm is blaring. I’m staring at the ceiling in the darkness. Breathing. Just breathing. I’m staring. My alarm…snooze. Nine more minutes and I’ll get up, I promise myself this every morning. Nine more minutes. I swear I’ll get up this time.

Everyone hits snooze, right? Generally, they fall back to sleep. Were they awake half the night making lists in their heads? Endless lists of things they worry about… things they need to buy at the store…or things they want to do to their house? I was. I was laying there thinking of everything in the world but sleep because that’s what I do. Sometimes I can read, work on crossword puzzles, or tell myself stories to put myself asleep. So, when I hit snooze, I’m awake, but I just don’t want to get out of bed. It’s not because I’m lazy. I mentally can’t get out of bed. I’m trapped in my head, unable to move. Every morning I have to untrap myself. I have to convince myself that getting out of bed is the right thing to do. It’s a vicious cycle.

I’m ill. I have a mental illness that I try to overcome every day of my life.

That’s not a normal thing to say, is it? What is normal? I can think of various instances from my childhood that point to the fact that I was not normal and that things were not okay. For example, I became so angry over something trivial that I ripped the bedpost off my bed and threw it across the room. Does that seem normal?

My generation grew up with the stigma that everything deemed “different” was bad, especially if you grew up in a small, conservative town in the south. Growing up, I quickly learned that to be a fully functional member of society, I had to hide the parts of myself that were considered “not okay.” In other words, “fake it until you make it.” So, that’s what I did. I became a master of my reality, and my only outlet growing up was through my writing. Throughout my adolescence, I went out of my way to not be noticed and to appear “normal.”

As I grew older, it was harder to fake. In my third year of college, circa 2004, I began to slowly give in to mania and depression. I stayed up all night, I stopped going to class, and I began sleeping all day until I had to get up to go to work. About halfway through my first semester, I was failing most of my classes except my creative writing class. It was the only one I enjoyed attending. The next semester wasn’t any better. I was on academic probation, and I still had a hard time making myself attend most of my classes other than my poetry writing elective. By that time, my mania/depression had turned into self-destructive behaviors. I quit my job to focus on college, but in reality, I was having a hard time making myself go to work and school. I figured that if I eliminated work, I would attend school. I was wrong. That summer, I was told I had to take a semester off from college due to my academic performance. At that point, I gave in and started seeing an on-campus psychiatrist.

After a few sessions, he diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar Disorder is “a mental disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, concentration, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks,” according to the National Institute of Mental Health. This diagnosis did not come as a shock to me. In fact, it made sense. I knew there was something wrong. I had always known, that people with mental illnesses were considered “crazy.” Was I crazy?

“You are not crazy,” my mother told me after my diagnosis. “I work with people who have Bipolar Disorder. You can’t possibly have Bipolar Disorder.” My mom was a social worker for the criminally insane at the local state hospital. She, along with a lot of people I knew, equated mental illness with crime because the only confessed people with bipolar disorder she knew were her clients at the hospital, and most of them had committed violent crimes. I was not violent. I was not a criminal. How could I be mentally ill? This is one of the stigmas that followed people with mental illness seventeen years ago. After my mother’s reaction and subsequent denial, why would I want to confess to having such a monstrous disorder? 

So, I suffered in silence like so many others. I overcame my baser instincts. Medication helped, but it only takes a person so far when it comes to Bipolar Disorder. Living life is a constant struggle. Sudden changes can often break my day. My first reaction to something negative is always to throw something, break something, or scream, but I stop myself and channel that energy in a more positive way. Over the years, my disorder became easier to control with practice and patience. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have bad days or that a single push will not tumble my carefully constructed house of cards. If that happens, I rebuild. It may be hard, but I do it.

On our podcast this week, we talk about living with mental illness. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one in five Americans live with mental illness. If more people talked about their condition, they would not have to suffer in silence like I did most of my life. Carrie Fisher once said, “Bipolar Disorder can be a great teacher. It’s a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life.” I accept the challenge. My condition is not a disability. I live with it and overcome it every day of my life, just like so many others.

I want to hear from our readers. Do you or a loved one suffer from mental illness? Let’s continue the conversation in our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.