Heard it on the Podcast - January 14, 2026

 

 

 

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

14-JAN-2026

S6E2: Anatomy of an Epidemic

Investigative journalist and author Robert Whitaker examines the roots of today’s mental health epidemic in his book Anatomy of an Epidemic. In this episode, we review his arguments and question whether the psychiatric drugs we trust to heal us may be contributing to the crisis. Are the treatments meant to make us better actually making us worse—and if so, why?

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Here are the links from this episode:

• Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker

More on this topic will follow in future episodes. Until then, don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think!  

Anatomy of an Epidemic

 

In 2022, I read Robert Whitaker’s Anatomy of an Epidemic: Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs, and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America. To say that I was skeptical would be an understatement. I started this weighty discourse ready to debunk the author’s claims. After all, we’ve had psychiatric medicines for years – surely they are helpful to the millions of Americans, including myself, who take them daily, right? The idea that the medications that are supposed to cure us could be worse than the condition itself is unthinkable. Yet this is the very concept Robert Whitaker is presenting.

It did not take long for my skepticism to evolve into outrage as I read case study after case study in which patients were very obviously misdiagnosed and over-medicated. The book also revealed how these psychotropic drugs were discovered in the first place, and why the concept of a “chemical imbalance” is not only a misnomer, but an out-and-out lie. By the time I got to the end of this book, I was determined to get off my prescribed antidepressants and to convince my family members to do so as well.

This week’s podcast is the beginning of an exploration of this profoundly disturbing book. We started recording and realized, almost two hours into the episode, that we had barely touched on the subject and would need to break it into multiple installments, as we did with the series on Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth in 2022. It’s a lot of information, but I hope you’ll stick with us. I promise it will be worth it in the end. It might just change your life. It has certainly changed mine.

What Am I Afraid Of?

 

Yesterday, Christen challenged us to think about living fearlessly and what that might mean. When I look back on my life, I see countless examples of how I’ve let fear influence my decisions and prevent me from living up to my potential – from living my best life. Too often, I’ve settled for the safe bet, or I’ve stayed quiet when I should have spoken up and let my voice be heard. I gave in, gave up, and gave away my power and my trust to people who didn’t deserve it. In the end, I found myself hurt, alone, confused, and even more afraid.

Fear takes away our power. Fear informs our body and mind how we should behave. It affects our internal organs, our mental acuity, and even our immune system. If we let it, fear can dominate us in ways no other emotion or entity can. We’ve all heard of “Fight, Flight, or Freeze,” right? Recently, experts have added a fourth response, which is “fawn,” when a person resorts to becoming servile to another out of fear. I think I can honestly say I have experienced all four at one time or another, but I lean toward freeze or fawn. I freeze when I feel I am in physical danger, and I fawn over relationships with my close family. If I freeze when I hear a weird noise in the house, maybe the intruder will think I’m asleep and will leave me be – something that started when I was a child. With my family, it happens when I’m afraid of an argument – afraid that they will shut me out of their lives or turn against me if I do or say something wrong – also a trauma response from childhood. That fear, that fawning, can sometimes make me appear clingy or oversensitive. However, that same fear also has a shadow side.

According to psychotherapist Ailey Jolie, “When we don’t feel safe, we reach for control,” and that is precisely what I have done for many years. Whenever I felt insecure or afraid in one area of my life, that’s when I began to exert more control in another. Fearful that my children are drifting away from me emotionally? Let’s schedule some specific family events to make sure it doesn’t happen. Afraid of the political climate we live in? I’ll be careful about what I say and do, and prepare for the worst. And that controlling behavior doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with whatever it is we are afraid of – just being able to control something makes us feel like we’ve taken back our power. Thus, such passive-aggressive habits include binge eating, making a sudden decision to cut one’s hair short, or even just rearranging the furniture. 

It’s natural to feel fear. It is a human response to a physical situation. It’s meant to protect us from danger. But as neurologically advanced beings, we have evolved to perceive additional threats that are more abstract and intangible. Our brains actually look ahead to perceive potential threats, as well as real ones. Our internal warning system starts playing a game of “what if,” and before long, our body begins reacting to those signals in the same way it does when faced with clear and present physical danger. Stress is just one of those reactions. Anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, manic behaviour, and even depression can all be triggered by those thought processes. Fear is not meant to be a constant state of hyper-vigilance. It’s designed to give us that quick, immediate notification that we need to be aware of and prepare to act on something in our environment.

Notice I said “act,” not “react.” Rather than letting that fear take over and control us, we need to learn to identify it as it happens and use our higher brain functions to determine the best response. We must face our fears with open eyes, acknowledge them, and let them go before we act. It’s challenging, but it’s definitely possible if you are mindful. Licensed therapists often use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Exposure Therapy to treat patients who are dealing with unresolved fear and other mental and emotional disturbances – the same techniques we use on ourselves when we practice self-care, shadow work, and even goal-setting. In every case, the first and most critical step in conquering our fear is identifying it. We must learn to recognize fear when it happens, and we must determine exactly what it is that we are actually afraid of – name it and claim it. Only then can we learn to put it in its proper place.

Since my husband’s passing, I’ve made a conscious effort to notice when fear is taking over. I try to ascertain (through meditation or listing) what it is I’m afraid of and why. When I find myself slipping into “control freak” mode, I try to relax and let things unfold naturally. I consider worst-case scenarios and logically decide whether it is something I need to worry about or can allow to progress. I try to remember that my children have their own lives and are going to make their own mistakes, no matter what I might do to help them avoid it, and that my trauma experiences aren’t necessarily going to play out in their lives just because it’s what happened in mine. I am learning to trust that the love we share is not being withdrawn, even when they try to exert their own control by manipulating my emotions. And, most importantly, I have to continue living my own life to the fullest, even if I feel like I am completely and utterly alone.

What Jealousy Really Says About Us

 Yesterday’s podcast episode focused on jealousy and how it is a key component and motivator for so many Disney villains. As we shared in our discussion, jealousy is a common incentive in most people from time to time, and try as we might, we can’t fully divest ourselves from it – it’s part of being human.

I think back on some of the more memorable times when I’ve felt jealousy, and I can easily pinpoint why I felt that way. Most often, it was due to two major themes that have been woven throughout my life and have been the cause of much negative self-talk and self-abuse – a lack mindset and low self-esteem. Between the two, you could probably explain just about every negative emotion I’ve ever felt, and they are likely the cause of most of the mistakes I’ve ever made.

It is easy to see and understand the jealousy that develops from a lack mindset. When you grow up very poor, as I did, and you are surrounded by people who have things you don’t, you envy those people and you covet those things. Bigger, nicer house, stylish clothes, foreign vacations, summer camp, strong family relationships, good grades, better education, toys and games…the list goes on and on. I’ve spent more than my fair share of time feeling frustrated, deprived, and unlucky.

My own lack of self-esteem has also beaten me down. There have been times in my life when it was so low that it was negative. I actually hated myself. I was sure I must have done something in a past life to deserve such terrible karma, but I didn’t know what. I still struggle with it to this day. I’m too fat, my nose is too big, my skin is wrinkly, I’m too old, I’m not talented enough, I’m lazy, I’m stupid, I’m crazy, I’m unorganized, I don’t have any friends, no one cares about me…. I counter these negative beliefs every single day with my morning affirmations, and I still can’t get past them.

Maybe those negative feelings are just part of being human, too, but I’ve learned that they don’t serve any good purpose. While some people might use those feelings to drive themselves to do better or be more, the effect is really very short-lived. Most of us cannot sustain a lifetime of self-loathing or resentment. When you focus only on the things you lack, you begin to see more of what you don’t have than what you do. That, in turn, builds resentment, not only of the people you envy, but of the people around you, too. Eventually, you begin to blame others for your lack, or even yourself. Those feelings might even become self-destructive.

When I was younger, my negative self-image was mainly focused on my looks. We moved from school to school often, and I found it hard to make friends. I could see that the pretty girls all had a lot of friends, while the “ugly” girls did not. In my immature perspective, I believed that I wasn’t liked because I was poor and I wasn’t pretty. I said and did many things to get people to like me, and I made a lot of terrible choices. Did it pay off? Not in the least. Being jealous of other girls who were prettier or had boyfriends led to nothing good. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I might have had more friends if I had been just a little more self-confident and outgoing. Instead of waiting for others to notice how cool I was and to give me external validation, I should have just been myself so that the people who were like me would see that and we would find each other. Instead of being “wild” to get attention, I should have been comfortable with who I was. Being jealous of other girls kept me from finding my own place in this world where I could be happy without struggling to be something I was not.

Jealousy is always rooted in the ego. Either our ego is over-inflated so that we believe we are entitled to things we are not actually entitled to, or our ego is deflated so that we don’t think we deserve or can accomplish whatever it is we want. It doesn’t take more than a minute to figure out which one it is. Jealousy doesn’t serve any higher purpose, either. So, why burden ourselves with this wasteful emotion that leaves such a negative taste in our mouths? I think a better choice would be to stop wherever I feel that first twinge of jealousy and just test it for a moment. What is it I am jealous of? Why does it make me feel that way? What shadows are being triggered, and what can I do to start healing them? I don’t want to be jealous because jealousy makes me feel like I am not enough, and I am tired of feeling that way. Aren’t you?

Screaming in my Car and Other Nonsense

Sometimes I scream in my car. Everyone does it. Especially, in Dallas traffic on days that you just want to get home at a decent time and others are on their cell phone or in la-la land not paying attention to what they are doing. However, I am usually screaming at life’s frustrations.

I have a friend going through a rough patch in her life right now. This thought popped up one night when she was venting her frustrations and she asked me, “Do you ever just yell at yourself?” It took me a minute to realize it, but I do. I yell at myself quite often, usually in the car, and I told her this. She thought that it was uncommon to do so. I said that it wasn’t. We need to get the pent-up demons out. If screaming in your car helps, I am all for it.

Another thing that I do when I am going through enormous emotions that need to be released from my mind is write poetry. When I write poetry, it is like a scream or a catharsis of emotions tumbling out of my brain and onto paper (or the notepad on my phone). To me, the process of writing poetry has always been a visceral experience. I don’t think when I write it; I only feel. Sometimes I will go back and move lines around and add words so that the poem makes sense, but I don’t plan out a poem when I am writing it. I let raw emotion take over. When I am screaming in my car, it is the same experience. I need to let it out. It is my own form of shadow work.

This week on the podcast, we delved deep into the thought process of shadow work. What is shadow work? Shadow work is working with your unconscious mind to uncover the parts of yourself that you repress and hide from yourself. Or, your “shadow.” The shadow archetype, according to Carl Jung, exists as a “part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, weaknesses, desires, instincts, and shortcomings. The shadow forms out of our attempts to adapt to cultural norms and expectations.”

In other words, it is not culturally acceptable to go out in public and scream until you cannot scream anymore or go to a public place and just start throwing chairs (which may or may not be something I think about often). No, we compartmentalize our baser instincts into a shadow. Jung’s Collective Unconscious, or archetypes, are how I saw my own brain before I ever took a psychology class in college and learned about them. I called these pieces of my mind “compartments” where I stored experiences and information. I even wrote a poem when I was younger that perfectly described the shadow.

Why should we work on this shadow? Shadow work and understanding your inner darkness are crucial for your personal development and your mental health, but it can only happen when you are ready and willing to face that part of yourself. Trust me, I know. I ran from my shadow and my trauma for years and I’m only now scratching the surface of my inner psyche. In early 2021, I began seeing a counselor and it was the first time I had seen one in almost twenty years. I had many things to work out and I am still working them out. I needed help and admitting it was a great first step in conquering my inner demons. Do you have to go to counseling to participate in shadow work? No, I had been journaling and writing poetry for years, but sometimes we get overwhelmed and need extra help. Shadow work is not easy or fun. It will require you to look at the innermost workings of yourself that you have been compartmentalizing. I am still working on my shadow daily and it is a slow process to work out.

I would like to hear from our readers. Are you participating in shadow work? Do you have any tips and tricks? Let’s continue the conversation below.

If you would like to know more about shadow work and access some journal prompts to begin the process of healing, check out this article from Better Up.

Listing, an Obsession

This week on the podcast, we talked about list making and the different types of lists that we make. Have you ever wondered why people make lists? To me, nothing is more satisfying than making a list and checking things off it. It is the ultimate calming activity (aside from putting things in alphabetical order) for my Obsessive-Compulsive mind.

I can remember being obsessed with lists even as young as elementary school. One constant activity I did to calm myself down was to make a list. The lists were different every time. For example, I showed rabbits (I owned over 100 of them), and every single one had a name. I would sit and write down the name of every single one of my rabbits. In high school, I started keeping an APN (all-purpose notebook) and I would keep all my lists contained in that. At the beginning of 2021, I bought my first bullet journal and I started putting my lists in that journal, dubbing it my “List Journal.” But, why do I do this? There must be some psychological explanation for why I make so many lists.

• People make lists to remember things, which is something I do as well. I will make a weekly list of things I need to do in my classroom or at home. I keep them, on my phone and in my planner. Those are essential lists I make, but as I mentioned above, I also compulsively (and maybe even obsessively) list sometimes. 
• As I have mentioned before, I have Bipolar Disorder and I also have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which can be symptoms of Bipolar Disorder. A common, OCD compulsion is called “glazomania.” Glazomania is an unusual obsession, passion, or fascination with making lists, which I have.

Is it wrong to be obsessed with lists? Absolutely not! Lists are a wonderful way to stay organized in a disorganized world. The problem (according to the article “Five Manias and Obsessions You Might Not Know About”)  lies when you are obsessively making lists, but the lists aren’t helping you in the way that they should, or if the only thing you do is make lists. However, making lists can also help stop compulsions related to OCD.

You decide. Is an obsession with lists a good thing or a bad thing? I want to hear from our readers. What kind of lists do you make? Do you obsessively make lists as I do? Comment below or continue the conversation on our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Pet Peeves

Yesterday, the podcast Modern Musings talked about pet peeves. It was a fun discussion, but it also made me realize that I have a lot of pet peeves. One would even say that my pet peeves have pet peeves. I joke…I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and when you have OCD, your life is a pet peeve.

What is OCD? According to the National Institute of Mental Health, ”Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a common, chronic, and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and/or behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.” People can have mild to severe cases of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. 

I feel like my tics are not life-altering, just annoying sometimes. I first noticed that I had odd tendencies when I was very young. I would get hyper-fixated on certain things. For example, I was obsessed with making lists and checking things off my list. I also had to have everything in alphabetical order. I would spend days alphabetizing and re-alphabetizing my books, movies, and magazines. There was nothing more satisfying to me than putting things in their place and having them organized. Over the years, I’ve found that without organization, life sometimes falls apart. Over the last eight years, I’ve also learned that sometimes you have to readjust your perception of how things should be and when to fight your battles.

My biggest OCD-related pet peeves:

• The trash should be in the trash can. I am so obsessed with this that I will throw trash away that’s not trash. My OCD has gotten me into trouble in the past. I have gotten so hard into “throwing away trash” mode that I have thrown away checks, important bills/papers, and keepsakes. In my classroom, if students leave their homework on the desk or the floor, I will throw it away (I do give them a disclaimer about this at the beginning of the year). One of the major problems I had with my ex-husband stemmed from his trash-hoarding (another form of OCD).
• The dishes should be in the sink. One thing I can’t stand is going to another person’s house and seeing dishes sitting everywhere. If the dishes are in the sink, I’m okay with it. But if they are sitting around the house, I fight the compulsion to take their dishes to the sink. If I have finished with a dish, I try to take it to the sink immediately. If I don’t, I will stare at it until it is in the sink.
• Dirty clothes should be in the hamper. That is another thing I can’t stand when I go to another person’s house. However, I don’t have an urge to pick up others’ dirty clothes. I can’t stand touching another person’s dirty clothes, especially if they smell like body odor. On the flip side, I won’t let anyone else touch my dirty clothing either.
• Pet hair on my skin or clothes. I know you are saying, “but you have four cats!” Just because they have insane amounts of hair (and compulsively shed in the summer) doesn’t mean I don’t love my cats (or anyone else’s pets). I have separate sets of clothes. Clothes I wear out and clothes I wear at home. I wash both sets of clothes separately. I have multiple sets of sheets and blankets that I am constantly washing to keep down the pet hair. I also groom my cats regularly to keep the hair at bay. If I go to a person’s house with pets, I am mindful of where I sit or what I wear. My reaction also stems from having a mild allergy to pet hair. I obsessively wash my arms and face if I feel hair sticking to them and making them itch.
• Stains on my clothes. This problem came to the forefront recently when I was on vacation. Jason and I ordered a seafood boil to share. I typically buy clothes in mixed patterns and avoid wearing solid colors because mixed patterns tend to hide stains on shirts better. So, I wore a solid shirt, not thinking about the restaurant where we were going to be eating. The boil we ordered was swimming in a butter sauce, and Jason immediately dug in, not caring if he stained his shirt (he usually only wears black anyway). By the end of our meal, I was freaking out because my shirt had stains all over it. I went to the bathroom and compulsively scrubbed the shirt in hopes the stains would not stick. I felt embarrassed afterward because I was having lunch with his family and I felt like they were looking at me oddly with my wet shirt (they weren’t).
• Food in my teeth. Like the stains on my clothes, this drives me crazy. If I am out and about and I do not have dental floss on me, I will not order something that I know will get in my teeth, otherwise, I will pick at my teeth until my teeth are bloody from trying to get out whatever is stuck in them. For this reason, I refuse to eat popcorn, whether it is a flavor I like or not. The memory of popcorn getting stuck in my teeth prevents me from eating it. I don’t like seeing food in other people’s teeth, either.
• Body odor. I do not have a good sense of smell. There are certain things I cannot smell and, in return, taste because I do not have a good sense of smell, except when it comes to body odor. If someone is not wearing deodorant or did not brush their teeth, I can smell it. I might not be able to smell dinner, or the flowers Jason buys me, but I can smell if you didn’t take a shower. I also take extra pains to make sure that I do not have body odor, myself. I compulsively shower and wash my hair at least once a day because I do not want to appear dirty or greasy. Back when I weighed over 400 pounds, my doctor commented on my obsessive cleanliness because she had never met someone of my size so clean.

This is not all of my pet peeves, and I am far from a perfectionist, which is one of the common misconceptions about someone with OCD. I don’t care if I cut straight, draw straight, or hang pictures on my wall straight. I cannot color inside the lines, and I don’t have a problem if my furniture or spice cabinet is aligned a certain way (just whether my spice cabinet is in alphabetical order). I do find myself repeating things, counting over and over, and hyper-fixating on certain tasks, but nothing to the detriment of my life or health. Yes, I have a lot of pet peeves, but I can live with them.

I want to hear from our readers. Do you have any pet peeves? Do they affect your life? Please, comment below or continue the conversation on our Facebook group: MMC Chat.

My Cats

Coping with Mental Health and Adult Children

Over the last 6 months, Amber, Christen, and I have shared quite a bit about our personal lives, our struggles with depression, ADHD, OCD, dementia, and familial tendencies toward mental illness. We’ve each had various experiences that have affected us deeply. I think that’s why mental illness is such an important topic here at Modern Musings, and why we’re talking about it this week. I know the topic is certainly at the top of my list, having lived with my own struggles for many years. However, mental illness takes on a whole new level of complexity when a parent is dealing with their child’s issues of mental illness, and while we can exert a bit of control over our youngsters, we are pretty much helpless as we watch the suffering of our adult children. It’s painful in ways that dim our own challenges, and it stabs at the core of our competence as a parent. But, what can we do?

I have often blamed myself for the struggles of my children. Did I pass on that gene? Was it something I did, or some failing of mine as a parent? Was there something I could have done to prevent it? Did I miss the signs? These are but a few of the questions a parent asks when their child is dealing with ADHD, depression, addiction, or any number of other mental health diagnoses. And we never stop asking those questions.

The other big question we ask is, “What can I do to help?” The answer is not as simple as one might think. Once your child is an adult, you don’t have much input into their treatment, and unless your child consents to release medical information, you are, by law, excluded from getting any information from their doctors. This is why maintaining a good relationship and open communication with your child is extremely important. Constantly checking in and checking up on our children can feel like smothering. The advice can feel like demands or even disappointment. You might need to adjust your thinking, too. Your dreams and expectations for your child may need to change in light of a mental health diagnosis. The brilliant student bound for college might take longer to reach that goal or may change plans altogether. The key is to show your adult child that you love them, accept them, and support them while acknowledging that they are an adult and it’s up to them to get the help they need.

I think one of the hardest things I’ve ever done is to sit back and watch my children suffer through many of the same mental health issues that have plagued me my whole life. It’s excruciatingly painful to know that I am powerless to fix it. But I think the part that is hardest to accept is when that child doesn’t get the help they need. It’s almost like watching them bleed out from a severed arm but you’re not allowed to stop the bleeding. Like any parent, I am full of all kinds of advice, and I want to do everything I can to make my family happy, well, and whole. If it was okay to do so, I would load them up in the car and drive them to the doctor myself! I’ve seen too many families torn apart by homelessness, abuse, addiction, and suicide. I can’t bear the thought of that happening to my children. So, you can bet that if I think they are going to hurt themselves or someone else, I will not hesitate to step in and do just that!

According to the National Alliance on Mental Health:

• 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experiences mental illness in a given year.

• Annually, 1 in 25 adults in the U.S. experiences a serious mental illness that substantially interferes with or limits major life activities.

• 50% of mental illness begins by age 14, and three-quarters begins by age 24.

• The average delay between symptom onset and treatment is 11 years

• 18% of U.S. adults with mental illness also have a substance use disorder

• 21% of people experiencing homelessness also have a serious mental illness

• 46% of people who die by suicide have a diagnosed mental health condition

• Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for people ages 10-34

• Only 41% of adults in the U.S. with a mental health condition received mental health services in the past year.

Here are some tips for dealing with your adult child with a mental health diagnosis:

• Early intervention can help reduce the severity of an illness.

• Use “I” statements so you don’t alienate them: “When I hear you talking about how unhappy you are, I feel worried. I think talking to someone about how you are feeling would be very helpful.”

• Stop the power struggles:  Listen, really listen, without judgment or correction

• Let them know you are there for them

• Remove the stigma of mental health issues

• Be willing to share your own issues – it helps them to know they aren’t alone

• Set boundaries: Neither of you should tolerate physical or verbal abuse. No cursing, hitting, or threats

• Encourage them to get help

• Find support for yourself

• Develop a crisis plan in case of emergency: Collect contact information for:

• The nearest hospital

• The crisis hotlines

• The nearest police department

• Family and friends

• Any treatment providers

• Have your child sign a medical release form so you can be involved if they suffer a significant episode.

  
  

If your child’s behavior is unsafe, or if they talk about wanting to hurt themselves or someone else – do not hesitate to intervene! You might just save a life!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/warning-signs-of-mental-illness