Screaming in my Car and Other Nonsense

Sometimes I scream in my car. Everyone does it. Especially, in Dallas traffic on days that you just want to get home at a decent time and others are on their cell phone or in la-la land not paying attention to what they are doing. However, I am usually screaming at life’s frustrations.

I have a friend going through a rough patch in her life right now. This thought popped up one night when she was venting her frustrations and she asked me, “Do you ever just yell at yourself?” It took me a minute to realize it, but I do. I yell at myself quite often, usually in the car, and I told her this. She thought that it was uncommon to do so. I said that it wasn’t. We need to get the pent-up demons out. If screaming in your car helps, I am all for it.

Another thing that I do when I am going through enormous emotions that need to be released from my mind is write poetry. When I write poetry, it is like a scream or a catharsis of emotions tumbling out of my brain and onto paper (or the notepad on my phone). To me, the process of writing poetry has always been a visceral experience. I don’t think when I write it; I only feel. Sometimes I will go back and move lines around and add words so that the poem makes sense, but I don’t plan out a poem when I am writing it. I let raw emotion take over. When I am screaming in my car, it is the same experience. I need to let it out. It is my own form of shadow work.

This week on the podcast, we delved deep into the thought process of shadow work. What is shadow work? Shadow work is working with your unconscious mind to uncover the parts of yourself that you repress and hide from yourself. Or, your “shadow.” The shadow archetype, according to Carl Jung, exists as a “part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, weaknesses, desires, instincts, and shortcomings. The shadow forms out of our attempts to adapt to cultural norms and expectations.”

In other words, it is not culturally acceptable to go out in public and scream until you cannot scream anymore or go to a public place and just start throwing chairs (which may or may not be something I think about often). No, we compartmentalize our baser instincts into a shadow. Jung’s Collective Unconscious, or archetypes, are how I saw my own brain before I ever took a psychology class in college and learned about them. I called these pieces of my mind “compartments” where I stored experiences and information. I even wrote a poem when I was younger that perfectly described the shadow.

Why should we work on this shadow? Shadow work and understanding your inner darkness are crucial for your personal development and your mental health, but it can only happen when you are ready and willing to face that part of yourself. Trust me, I know. I ran from my shadow and my trauma for years and I’m only now scratching the surface of my inner psyche. In early 2021, I began seeing a counselor and it was the first time I had seen one in almost twenty years. I had many things to work out and I am still working them out. I needed help and admitting it was a great first step in conquering my inner demons. Do you have to go to counseling to participate in shadow work? No, I had been journaling and writing poetry for years, but sometimes we get overwhelmed and need extra help. Shadow work is not easy or fun. It will require you to look at the innermost workings of yourself that you have been compartmentalizing. I am still working on my shadow daily and it is a slow process to work out.

I would like to hear from our readers. Are you participating in shadow work? Do you have any tips and tricks? Let’s continue the conversation below.

If you would like to know more about shadow work and access some journal prompts to begin the process of healing, check out this article from Better Up.