#makeyourbedchallenge

Hi everyone! I am just going to come right out and say it! I am struggling! I am so behind on what I feel I need to be doing, should be doing and what others expect me to do. I tend to jump into things head first with great intentions and then I suddenly feel like an octopus trying to juggle flaming torches, knives, and hand grenades. I am sure that I am a thousand blogs behind, and let's not talk about the unfinished tasks that I have had to get help on recently. I feel so defeated sometimes. I know that we can all feel this way from time to time, and I know this is a safe place to talk about it. I have a lot of exciting things going on in my life, too, so it can all be an emotional rollercoaster. This blog post has a happy ending, I can assure you that.

Me: feeling overwhelmed!

So, what have I been doing to help with the overwhelming feelings of stress? 

Listening to myself:

I opened a letter that came in the mail recently that was unmarked. I had this gut feeling that it was something terrible. That is probably an automatic response from getting so many bills and unwanted notices in the mail. I hardly ever get good stuff in my mailbox. Well, I started to open this letter, and as I do so, I am paying attention to my feelings. I have been doing a lot of shadow work lately and because of it, I am open to receiving messages from within. The message I heard today was loud and clear. My heart was saying, “My life is falling apart.” In all honesty, yes, I feel wound up and simultaneously over stretched, but surely my life is not falling apart! Part of me wanted to tell myself to not be so overdramatic, but the compassionate part of me reminded me that anything that can come by mail, can be handled. There is nothing that would destroy my family so much that I would truly feel that my life was falling apart. I have to be the voice of reason for myself, as well as comforting and accepting. If you are curious what was in the mail, it was some junk about my husband’s car warranty expiring, nothing worth my day spinning out of control over. 

Doing that one hard thing - and asking for help with it:

I had a daunting task that has been looming over my head for the past year. It has been something that I have been avoiding for various reasons. I start getting those excuses in my head for why I can’t do something or why I should do it later, and sure enough, it starts to sound like a broken record in my head. This is something that I have been working on with my therapist. I tend to associate social discomfort with physical discomfort, and it makes my life very challenging. I end up “punishing myself” because I have a self-limiting belief that I can’t accomplish the task, and then I punish myself for not completing it. This particular task is something that, because I was avoiding it, I didn’t allow myself to enjoy doing other things – that was my punishment. I had to do it though. And yes, there are some things that you don’t have to do, but this was one of those things that just needed to be done. I was tired of not doing it, and I knew that the only way it would get done was if I enlisted someone else's help. Thankfully that person obliged, I didn’t even have to explain myself. I know I will owe them a huge favor. But sometimes you just have to call your friend over to “kill the spider.” Now that this spider has been killed, I am ready to move on to the next one, I no longer feel paralyzed by it. 

Making space to enjoy my life:

I was starting to feel the walls closing in. I’m not really that claustrophobic, but I do start to feel like a bull in a china shop. When I feel like I can’t move around without knocking things over, or having to move-things-to-get-to-other-things-so-I-can do-things, I get really frustrated. I get overwhelmed, panicky, and spin out. I become useless and shut down. I will retreat into a book or television, and the rest of my day is toast. Since I was feeling overwhelmed one day, I decided to watch some videos on YouTube. I thought it might be relaxing to watch some organization videos. Sometimes watching other people clean can be really satisfying. I stumbled across some videos of people decluttering, and I was hooked. I found it so exhilarating to see people hold up a plastic cup from a restaurant and explain that they have 50 cups and they don’t need this one in particular and toss it in the recycle bin. It actually got me pumped. I then started decluttering while I was watching the video. This whole week has been quite refreshing as I have been inspired to do a clean sweep of many of the messy areas in our home that tend to get over-stacked. I went through the pantry and tossed a bunch of expired food. We decluttered the fridge. I ransacked Reyna’s room while she was at her grandpa’s house and threw away a lot of trash, and I even got a donation box with some of her toys and baby books put together. My motivation was even rubbing off on my husband, Travis. He was willing to part ways with some of the unused tumblers and Tupperware that was stuffed in all the nooks and crannies. Some of the most inspiring videos were from Cassandra Aarssen from Clutterbug. We blogged about what type of Clutterbug we were and discussed the quiz on the podcast last year. I was really planning to do my spring cleaning in the spring, but this year I just couldn’t wait to get started. I started out in the game closet and ever since I dumped out an entire box of hard playdough without a second thought, I have been a changed woman. I find myself decluttering everywhere I go in the house. I even decluttered my sewing case while I was at a retreat this weekend. I dumped a handful of miscellaneous buttons in the trash that I have been toting around with me for 20+ years, and it was so freeing! Another great vlogger that I want to share is The Minimal Mom - The Myth of Being Behind. This particular video reminds us that we are not behind, we are doing what we are capable of doing at the time. In the world of Pinterest perfectionism we need to be reminded that we are normal and it’s ok. 

I am feeling better about my situation in life. It is not actually spinning out of control, that’s just a mindset. Life is a work in progress. And, for real, if you read this far, I really appreciate it! There is just something so powerful about putting my words out there, speaking my truth, and hashing it out. I feel so much better now than I did 45 minutes ago. 

I encourage you to check out our podcast coming out on Wednesday. Motivation and life hacks are abundant. This week we are talking about the “Make Your Bed Challenge”. I don’t know if that is a real thing or not but we made it a challenge. Starting March 1st we are challenging ourselves and our listeners and readers to do the challenge with us! This is a productivity challenge. We go into detail behind the reasoning as to why it is important to start your day off by making your bed every day. So if you feel like your life is spinning out of control or you need a little more regimentation and order in your life, Wednesday’s podcast is for you. So start your day off by making the bed, and remember that intention is better than perfection. 

If you participate in our "Make Your Bed Every Day" Challenge, be sure to tag us on your Facebook and Instagram posts:  @ModernMusingsMMC and #mmcmakeyouredchallenge

Sometimes We Have to Choose

All day every day we make decisions. Like, what are we going to wear or what are we going to eat for dinner? Life can be overwhelming. When life is overwhelming, even the smallest decisions can be tough decisions. Sometimes I scroll on Uber Eats for a couple of hours before I decide what I want to eat for dinner, and by the time I officially decide, I’m no longer hungry when it finally arrives. On the podcast, we talked about the decisions you have to make in life like sometimes you have to choose between brushing your teeth or taking a shower, and I’ve never felt that statement so hard until this year.

The evolution of my school year starts promisingly. I’m usually at school an hour and a half early and I leave an hour and a half later, mainly because there are so many things that I need to take care of at the beginning of the year such as unpacking my room and making lesson plans. I need that extra time. As the school year progresses, I begin to wake up later and arrive at work later. When November comes, I have to begin making those tough decisions. For example, do I park in the parking lot that I have to pay for, or do I leave the house earlier and park in the parking lot that my school pays for? Is that $12.99 worth arriving at work 10 minutes earlier? I suppose it depends on how late I am running. 

Last year, I had it down to an exact science. If I left the house at a certain time on certain days, I could walk into work and clock in right on time. However, if I pushed the envelope, traffic was not so kind when it came to my careful calculation. This year, so far, I have left the house early enough that I don’t have to pay for parking and I can socialize a bit before I jump right into teaching class.

Another morning-time decision I wrestle with is the decision to wear makeup or not. A lot of time those ten extra minutes of hitting snooze are the difference between looking professional and looking like a zombie. Oftentimes, I would take my makeup to work and do it in the bathroom between classes just to feel normal for the day. A lot of times, I never got around to doing my makeup. When I lived farther away from work, I had gotten into the habit of doing my makeup in the car or on the train in the mornings. Is the extra sleep worth it? I thought so. However, I tend to feel better about myself when I wake up in time to take care of things around my house and at school instead of rushing out of the house.

Finally, as the school year progresses, one of the biggest decisions that I have to make is whether to eat breakfast before school or not. Breakfast is the best meal of the day. In fact, I could eat breakfast food at any time of the day. In my years of teaching, I’ve never been able to wake up early enough to eat a full breakfast before I make it to work. I usually eat my breakfast in small bites throughout the day until it becomes my lunch and not my breakfast. One of my goals through PowerSheets® this year is to not hit snooze as much. Let’s face it, sometimes we have to hit snooze. I hit snooze a lot. So far, I haven’t met that goal.

Ultimately, my decisions boil down to sleeping in and getting up when I should be getting up in the morning. If I weigh the options, getting up when my alarm first goes off seems like a healthier and more productive choice, and it is something I’m working on being consistent about. 

I want to hear from our readers. What are the major decisions that you have to face in the morning? Have you set goals to alleviate those decisions? As the year progresses, do you find it harder and harder to make it to work on time? Let’s continue the conversation below!

Behind the Clock

This week on the podcast we are discussing The Luck of the Irish and the origin of the meaning. Years ago, while visiting Salt Lake City, I ended up at the Family History Library. I have always been interested in genealogy and it was something that my dad was interested in as well. He spent years studying family history. The library set me up with an account and got me started on what was soon to become an intensive family history project that I am still working on. One of the things I discovered about my last name over the years is the Gaelic translation meaning “rough fate.”

When I was younger I used to ask myself why I was so unlucky. It always seemed that when things/tasks seemed easier for one person, they seemed three times as hard for me to accomplish. I felt “behind the clock.” So to speak.

What is “behind the clock?” I always thought that there were three types of people:

1. Before the clock: The lucky ones. The ones that never seemed to have a “bad hair day”. The ones that were always praised for being gorgeous, having money, getting good grades without having to work too hard for them, etc. Life seemed to be easy for those people.
2. On-time: Those that lived a natural flow of life. They were never lucky or unlucky. They lived their life naturally and accepted the natural way of life.
3. Behind the clock: The chronically unlucky ones. The ones that were always late. The ones that things never seemed to go smoothly for. It seemed that they had to work extra hard in all aspects of life. These people were usually born poor or were constant victims of some hardship.

However, those were just surface-level thoughts. Life is never that simple and you have to get to know someone to be able to judge their circumstances. No one is consistently before or behind the clock. Not everyone is “on time” all the time. A lot of the time, people that seem to “have it all” are just projecting an illusion to the public because they don’t want an insight into what’s going on behind the scenes of their life. Nevertheless, I was jealous of what I perceived as “before the clock” people. I was too trapped in my misery to see past the surface.

Aside from all that, I wondered why am I so unlucky? For many years I kept a mental/running list of reasons why I thought I was unlucky:

• I was born a female: I am a child of the ’80s. I grew up with the perception of how females are supposed to be, and I was none of those things. I have always felt very masculine compared to conventional definitions of “female.” At the same time, I feel very “feminine” as well. I very much embrace both my masculine and feminine sides dually. But, when I was a child, men seemed to have it all and I thought it was unfortunate that I didn’t.
• I had some unfortunate genetics: I have always been overweight and from a genetics standpoint, I have always had to work extra hard to lose weight. Being “plus-size” growing up was hard. I had a lot of body issues, and I was bullied for being overweight not only by the kids in school but by my family members as well.
• My family was poor: Looking back, this was ironic to me because  I was bullied for being a “rich girl” because my grandparents had money even though my parents did not. I didn’t live in the best part of town and the house I grew up in wasn’t the biggest. We were poor and we struggled, but my mom always went to great lengths to make sure that no one realized it. I ate a lot of ramen noodles, cheap lunch meat, and spaghetti growing up because we didn’t have a lot of money. The poor nutrition just compounded my weight problem.
• I was socially awkward: This was a struggle I kept hidden struggled with. If you met me in person, you might question how I could struggle socially. My mother was the most social person anyone knew, and I was in every club/sport imaginable growing up how could I possibly be socially awkward? It is one of those things I was taught to overcome or hide. My natural tendency when I walk into a room is to avoid eye contact and hide in the corner so no one will notice or speak to me. My mom refused to let me give in to those tendencies. I was taught to speak first and look people in the eye. The eye contact thing still eludes me – being social and speaking to people is a constant struggle for me. As an adult, I was diagnosed with a mild form of autism which could explain my social struggles.
• Weird stuff always seemed to happen: I used to think the world was punishing me. For example, if I bought a shirt that I felt was expensive, I would accidentally catch it on something and ruin it the very next day, or if I wore white, I always spilled something on my shirt. If I got too attached to some object, I always ended up breaking it or losing it. The list could go on and on.

Rough fate.  Was it my last name? Fate is defined as the development of events beyond a person’s control. Fate and luck aren’t the same things. I could say that my last name is the reason that I’ve had to struggle in certain aspects of my life, but it isn’t. Just because one of my ancestors had a rough fate and the name was passed down for generations, that doesn’t mean that it’s my fate. 

Over the years, I’ve learned not to be so short-sighted. Those that seemed to “have it all” often really don’t. I learned that some of them thought that I “had it all” when I was barely keeping it together myself. As a society, we are too quick to judge and too short-sighted to see past our internal struggles. Why would anyone pick “rough fate” to be their last name? It’s just a reminder to live every day with intention. Once I got past blaming life circumstances on my struggles, I was able to begin living a happier, open-minded life that didn’t dwell on why things are wrong but focused on why things are right.

I want to hear from my readers. Have you ever felt “behind the clock?” Do you have any funny “behind the clock” stories? Let’s continue the conversation in our Facebook group: MMC Chat.

My favorite links for researching Genealogy:

Surname Database

Ancestry

Forebears