Cups and What They Represent in My Life

Cups symbolize many things in modern culture today. It’s amazing to think this simple three-letter word, cup, has so many meanings. At the beginning, when I was first drafting my ideas for this prompt, I was really stuck. I was not ready to take on a daunting task of research into an unfamiliar topic, or do a lot of deep soul diving. I kept saying to myself, “Cups, cups, cups….” and nothing extraordinary would come up. Varying images of drink ware, bras, and movies with cups as a central theme in them (Monty Python’s The Holy Grail and M. Night Shyamalan's Signs, both fantastic films), seemed to keep blocking any other thoughts from developing. My mental cup was full of all the wrong things. Ok, think, brain…

Immediately my first thought that came up was a nice warm cup of coffee – like mother, like daughter. What can I say, it is my favorite beverage. I have a lot of favorite cups and specific types of cups for my various favorite beverages. Growing up my mom had these old aluminum cups that were passed down in her family. I was only ever interested in drinking milk from them. I could taste the cup in the drink if I put anything else in these special cups. It almost seemed that the cup could make the milk colder. As a kid, anytime I invited a friend over, I was sure to show off our amazing aluminum milk cups. Still to this day, mom has some updated aluminum cups and I poured Reyna’s first glass of milk at “Lulu’s” in one to see if she would enjoy the sensation. 

I am the same way with my other drinks. I have a whole cabinet of cups, but I only like to drink out of maybe six of them, mostly because they have lids and keep my drink hot or cold. More metal cups – it must be my thing. My husband, on the other hand, is a collector of cups. He sees them when he goes thrifting and will pick up oddities, collectibles and souvenir glasses from other people’s vacations - places he has never even been before. I roll my eyes because I don’t understand the compulsion, but I too, continue to add to the collection. Before living with Travis, my cupboard was neat and my drinking vessels were organized by purpose and style. Now they are just tossed in there every which way, and I just hang my head in defeat; this is how my husband likes to store them. I gave up. I was just wasting time every day going in after him to organize them. 

My Hot Mess of Cups

This year before the Christmas holiday, I purchased several themed mugs. I only used them during the Christmas season, and then packed them away with the rest of the decorations. It was fun to have a cute mug every day to enjoy my favorite beverage. To me, the cup symbolizes comfort and routine. For my husband, it represents nostalgia, fantasies of travel, and brands that he identifies with. 

I have other memories that involve a cup. One is an especially memorable moment with my grandfather, Poppy. I remember nervously holding a disposable cup full of crushed ice and feeding it to him, with a disposable teaspoon while he lay incoherent in a hospital bed. Mom and I had rushed to see him, and we got there in the middle of the night. He was in and out all evening. The doctors didn’t think he was going to make it. In feeding him ice cubes, I felt insecure, my only experience had been spoon feeding my baby brother. He hadn’t been old enough to judge me if I was doing it wrong. It meant a great deal to me to feed my grandfather ice cubes, though. In my mind, his life depended on it, and it might be the last time I spent with him. Caring for my Poppy in that moment had felt like the most mature and grown up task I had ever undertaken. I realized in that moment of awkwardness and insecurity that the tables had turned. I don’t remember the incident (for obvious reasons), but I have the photo, which I cherish – my grandfather had spoon fed me baby food, and it had been a big deal, so someone captured it on film. My grandmother would always mention how he had never fed his kids, but he had willingly fed me, his first granddaughter. 

Circa 1984

And yet, the cup, with its versatility, can easily invoke disorienting feelings. Méret Oppenheim’s piece titled Object sends ripples of dislike through many viewers. It’s a tea cup covered in fur! That's a whole lot of “no” for me, as it is with many people. I have a thing about textures. If you haven't the slightest idea what I am talking about, you should check it out; it is located at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. This juxtaposition started a huge buzz! The whole concept of a commonly useful object being altered to induce sensations that it would not typically otherwise invoke from the observer is exactly why it is considered an important piece of our art history. The whole purpose is to get you to feel and to think! I’m not here to dispute what art is or isn’t, but just to marvel at the powerful suggestions this piece of artwork induces. I remember the first time I cracked open an art textbook and found an image of this piece. I literally shuddered, my nose tickled, and I swear I mentally coughed up a fur ball. It’s just a cup, like any other cup, but it holds a much deeper meaning. 

Sometimes a cup can bring on the sense of victory. We have used cups as symbolism for our trophies since the days of the Roman Empire. When someone was given an award for victory, they were given olive oil, hence the trophy cup imagery. I still, to this day, remember when the Dallas Stars, my local hockey team, won the Stanley Cup Finals. Talk about a big cup, it weighs over thirty pounds and looks more like a bowl. Tradition allows each player to spend one day with the trophy. Our boys took that cup on a rager and punted it into a swimming pool, and that was not the first time it had been taken for a swim! I do like the idea of the players taking the cup out for a joyride to celebrate. Maybe we should call it the Flat Stanley Cup.

Stanley Cup 1930

Although this writing exercise was a challenge, I did enjoy just picking my brain for a moment. I challenge you to do the same! Whether it is a measuring cup, k-cup, something that’s not your cup of tea, tarot cup, finals cup, or bra cup for that matter, there are memories and feelings that the word cup invokes. It’s an everyday item that everyone uses, but we rarely give much attention. Do you have any special memories that involve a cup? What does the word cup draw up in your mind? Let me know in the comments! 

How I Filled My Cup

Filling my cup. What an interesting concept, this metaphor. As an English teacher, I am obsessed with words but what does this metaphor mean? It can be taken in a few ways. I have always thought of myself as a “glass half full” person – an optimist. I might be depleting something, but at least there is something left. Let’s call the “something” in the glass “energy”. Let’s also say that the “cup” in this situation is you, the reader. Is your energy half full or half empty? What are some ways that you can fill your cup with life-sustaining energy without overfilling it?

First, you need to sit back and decide what kind of energy your cup already has in it. Let’s back up. What even is “energy?” If you are not a metaphysical or “meta” person, you might not be fully aware of the energies surrounding us or our life force. In different cultures, the source of life, or life force, takes on different identities such as “Chi” or “Qi” in Chinese culture, and “Mana” in Hawaiian culture. This energy is, of course, different than scientific energy (kinetic, potential, mechanical, etc.). In Chinese culture, there are two types of energy: positive energy and negative energy. I’m going to go a step further and say there are different types of positive and negative energies. It is all in how you present yourself to the world.

A friend of mine has been recently struggling with a negative influence in her life. She asked me why she attracts such negative people. I told her that it was the energy she gives out into the world. In the past, I have called her “friend goals” because everyone wants to be her friend. She is the most positive person I know. Her cup is overflowing with positive energy, and she spreads it freely out into the world. People line up to drink from her “positive cup.” I know this because I have the same problem. I’ve learned to combat it over the years, but I often wondered why I felt so down and drained. It was because I was attracting the same type of people in my life (friends, relationships, family, etc) that wanted a drink of my positive energy.

Three years ago, I decided that I needed to make a major life change, and I continued to do so as I shed physical weight and the mental weight of the unrealistic expectations of toxic people. The more I did these things, the more I realized that I had a lifetime of negativity fighting for my positivity and that included negative expectations I had of myself. The first thing I did was quit my job and then I moved to a new town. I thought that physically distancing myself from all the toxic energy would help, and it did for a while, but I had to do more than that. My cup was drained of positive energy.  The negative people in my life were suddenly making themselves known, and my cup began to fill with their negative energy. I started doing things in my life that I wouldn’t normally do, such as calling in sick to work and spending money carelessly.

A year and a half ago, after my ex-husband and I separated, I started on a journey of self-reflection. There were still so many wrong things in my life that I needed to change physically and mentally. My cup began to fill again with positive energy, and it attracted positive people in my life once again. I reconnected with old friends and family that I hadn’t seen for years. I even started doing the things that I loved again, which led me to write this blog and start a podcast with my friends.

Things I did to fill my cup with positivity and bring my life back into balance:

• I started writing again: Writing is my favorite pastime over anything else. I started writing (and reading) at a young age. When I was in sixth grade, I wrote my first book. I published my first poem when I was 17 years old. Last year, Christen convinced me to start creative journaling, and it went from there. Now I have truly adopted a concept I teach in my classroom, which is to write every day.

• I tried new things: When I started writing again, I started exploring the area near my house (amid the pandemic, of course) and I began ordering from new restaurants that I wouldn’t normally have tried. I also started writing restaurant reviews on Instagram. When restrictions eased up, I started trying new coffee shops, and I began to develop a small following. In January, I implemented a “22 coffee moments in 2022” challenge on my Instagram Ms.Garvin.Writes.

• I reconnected with my spirituality: In 2014, my mom had a series of strokes, and I gave up my job and everything I knew to move in with her and take care of her. Until my marriage separation, I had become a caretaker of others and not for myself. Aside from writing, I also put my spiritual pursuits on the backburner. Recently, I started studying them again. I had never lost my spirituality and my interest in the metaphysical, but it had become dormant as I began to live my life for other people.

• I unpacked: I moved to my current place last summer. As I was moving, I realized that I hadn’t opened any of the boxes since I moved in with my mom in early 2015. I hadn’t seen my things in six years. I had moved so much in that time that I started to leave things in boxes and never unpacked. I decided that I was going to unpack ALL of my boxes. That was cathartic. I laughed and I cried at all of the memories I had missed.

• I got rid of the excess: After I unpacked every single box that I had carried with me from place to place, I began to declutter. I had so many things that I didn’t need or want, such as kitchen gadgets I would never use or books I would never read. I had boxes of mail from years before. If you have never decluttered before, it is the most uplifting feeling.

• I started self-care routines: I have written before about losing weight and losing clothes to mold damage. As I replaced my damaged and oversized wardrobe, I began to buy clothes that fit properly. In addition to my new body confidence, I started a skincare routine, and I started wearing makeup that interested me.

• I started counseling: This was a big turning point for me because I hadn’t fully worked through the death of my parents. When I began the divorce process, the stress in my life came to a peak, and I began to have almost daily panic attacks. I had used the excuse in the past that mental healthcare was unaffordable and that I didn’t need it. I suddenly realized that my cup was empty. I needed to talk to somebody about the things that had been going on in my life. Someone that didn’t know and wouldn't judge me. We all need that sometimes. 

All life has to have balance. In a perfect world, your cup would be filled with an adequate amount of everything you need, and it would have the right balance of positive and negative energy. We have to actively work to keep that balance, or we spiral out of control. It is an everyday struggle for me not to give in to the negative influences that drain my cup. The best advice I can give is to find the things that make you happy and work for them. Fill your cup with that. If something is draining your cup, detox it from your life.
I want to hear from my readers: What has been draining your cup lately? Comment here or continue the conversation in our Facebook group, MMC Chat.

Heard It on the Podcast - March 2

 

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here's the links for this week:

2-MAR-2022

S2E10: Cups

• Ali Edwards "Just Write": https://aliedwards.com/subscribe/just-write
• Borgbilly/Sonic Biscuit 365 Project: https://soundcloud.com/mark-murray-2
• Eckhart Tolle, "A New Earth": https://amzn.to/3hblVm4
• Creative Audio Tech/Red Door Studios: http://www.creativeaudiotech.com

As an Amazon Affiliate, Modern Musings earns from qualifying purchases.

Cups

When you were a child, did you fill your glass to the brim so that it was too full and you couldn’t move it without spilling? Did it seem terribly important to get those extra few sips into the cup, as if you might not have another glass of milk for a long time? Do you still do that today?  I do.

 

I can close my eyes and reflect on how many times I’ve tiptoed from the kitchen to my desk with a full cup of coffee sloshing against the brim, feeling the dribbles of sweet, creamy deliciousness trickling over my fingers, which I then lick off when I get back to my seat.  Once I’m settled in, I take a big sip and savor the rich, warm mouthful, and I feel like it’s worth the extra effort I took just to get it here. 

Sometimes I walk just a little too fast, or I turn the corner into my studio too jerkily, and a splash of that sumptuous goodness will slosh over the side, splatting on the floor, or even my clothes and shoes. I’m in such a hurry to get back to my routine, that I forget how precious each little drop is, and instead waste it on a floor that has to be mopped or clothes that now have to be changed and washed. I’m always disappointed when that happens, and it takes me away from both my planned work and the fulfillment of that first heavenly sip because not only have you lost one precious sip, but, by the time the mess is cleaned, the coffee is no longer at the ideal temperature to evaporate on your tongue. That moment of sweet and savory satisfaction is gone.

 

I’ve tried different things to combat the problem, but it always ends up the same. I’ve used a bigger cup, in the mistaken belief that I will be satisfied with the same amount of coffee, but no, the cup just gets fuller and fuller, as if that extra inch or two of space below the rim is just begging to be filled, either with more coffee, or more likely, with more creamer. Pretty soon, I have the same problem, but with a bigger cup. It’s as if the liquid delight magically expands to fill the space it’s in.

 

I think we sometimes have that same mentality in other areas of our lives. Our cups are full to overflowing, filled with activities, wants, needs, and whatever we can use to fill the space; we can’t enjoy our pursuits without a little bit spilling out the sides and being wasted now and then. My daughter and I were discussing this very thing a few days ago.  She had read an article about people who are perpetually late, which, of course, we both are.  The report postulated that being late wasn’t a symptom of someone with poor time management skills, but rather, a personality trait of someone who can’t be bothered to wait. Late people can’t stand to do nothing or to kill time. Rather than waste that little bit of extra time waiting for the meeting to start or the doctor’s office to open, we fill the available space with as much activity as we can, and sometimes (well, okay, most of the time), it backfires on us by overflowing into other activities, disrupting our plans and throwing everything off.

 

I’m completely guilty of this. I schedule so many must do’s into each day that there is no possible way to get them all done.  I arrive at every appointment at least 5 minutes late, and I can never seem to get where I’m going without running back into the house to pick up this, that, or the other that I left behind.  I do it with my budget, seeing an extra $5 on my spreadsheet and thinking to myself, “Oh, now I can get that…” whatever-it-is that I think I need that winds up overdrawing my bank account because I forgot about that auto-charge that hadn’t gone through yet. I even do it with food; I’ll order too much, or fill my plate too full, just in case what I want doesn’t fill me up.  I’m so blinded by the potential of what I could put in my cup that I forget to stop and ask myself if I should.  And honestly, most of the time, I shouldn’t.

 

Selecting “simplify” as my One Little Word this year has been both a blessing and a curse.  It’s definitely an area I need to work on, and it has proven to be quite the challenge. The only way I can truly simplify is to stop putting so much in the cup.  To let there be empty spaces in my activities, in my time, in my heart. Only then can I begin to embrace the idea that less is more, that I don’t have to fill all the available space, and that what I have is truly enough.

The essay above was one I wrote several years ago while taking a writing workshop with Ali Edwards. If you have a comment or would like to share your perspective, please share in the comments below, or start a post in our MMC Chat group.