What Your Mother Never Told You

Have you been listening to our podcasts? This week is a little bit different, and I’m hoping it will be both enlightening and helpful. Although we often refer to “Goals, Girl” and other female-centric topics, I’m pretty sure this is the first one dedicated to a purely female topic. It’s also very personal for all three of us, as we share some health histories and other information about periods, menopause, and women’s health. And while we aren’t especially graphic, there are a few delicate topics that might not be suitable for all ages, so have a listen before sharing with your younger daughters. As for the guys out there listening, we hope this will help you understand some things a little better, and if not, then we’d love to hear from you! Now, on to some helpful menopause tips….

We’ve all heard about hot flashes during menopause, but did you know that they can start as early as your mid-30s? And while some sources say they last anywhere from six months to two years, some women experience them for a great deal longer. When I first started having hot flashes, I thought I was going through some kind of spontaneous combustion, and I was sure that I was about to burst into a ball of flames. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and the aromatase inhibitor my doctors put me on to block my estrogen production made the hot flashes even worse. I lived with those hot flashes for almost 10 years, five of them on the cancer medication, and they’ve only now begun to lessen. Luckily, I did learn a few things about hot flashes that I wanted to share with you.

1. Some foods and drugs make hot flashes worse. Some of the worst culprits are coffee, alcohol, chocolate, spicy foods, and hot foods right off the stove. Check with your pharmacist to see if any of your medications cause or add to hot flashes. There may be a better alternative that doesn’t.

2. Some women have cold flashes, too. Since estrogen helps us regulate our body temperature, the fluctuating (waning) availability in our system can cause us to be either cold or hot, sometimes one right after the other. The best solution is to dress in layers that can be easily put on or taken off. A cardigan sweater can be your best friend.

   
   

   

   Menopause shouldn't be a secret; discuss the experience with your
    friends, family, and doctor.

   
   

3. There are many natural treatments that alleviate symptoms. But check with your doctor first. Some plant-based phytoestrogens can mimic or even increase estrogen levels, which could be harmful to someone being treated for estrogen-positive breast cancer. That said, some phytoestrogens actually help decrease estrogen levels and could be beneficial to cancer patients. One over-the-counter treatment recommended by my oncologist was Relizen, a Swedish flower pollen extract sold by Bonafide.

4. Exercise and lose weight. Studies have shown that even a minimal amount of exercise can be beneficial in curbing those hot flashes and that a moderate amount of exercise combined with weight loss can sometimes help eliminate them altogether.

5. Drink plenty of water. I’ve found that having a cold glass of water on hand at the start of a hot flash can make it go away faster. Plus, it’s never a bad idea to drink more water, right?

6. Use a fan. I have desk fans, ceiling fans, and even little hand fans that I carry in my purse to whip out at dinner or on the train. A little bit of air movement helps your skin feel cooler. But be careful and don’t fan too aggressively…some suggest that all that arm movement using a hand fan might actually heat you up!

To fan or not to fan, that is the question....

Is there a cure for hot flashes? Not yet. But if you lessen the things that exacerbate them and you find some ways to stay cool in spite of them, you might just survive menopause.

Do you have hot flashes? What has worked for you? We’d love to hear about it. Share your story in the comments below or join the conversation in our Facebook Group MMC Chat. 

Rules for Being a Boss Bitch

Wednesday, on the podcast, Amber introduced us to her favorite oracle deck and the book that inspired it, “Literary Witches: A Celebration of Magical Women Writers.”  This topic was a great tie-in to International Women’s Day, which just so happened to be celebrated on Wednesday. March is also “Women’s History Month”, and you may have noticed that we’ve been sharing several female-centric blogs and podcasts, including February’s “Women in STEM” episode and, coming up next week, the as-yet-untitled podcast about role reversals. It’s going to be a good one, so don’t forget to tune in; I’ll have links below! Rather than rehash our discussion about our favorite Literary Witches and Boss Bitches, which I also listed on our Heard it on the Podcast post this week, I thought it might be fun to take a look at what makes someone a Boss Bitch.

Some people (okay, many) have a problem with the word bitch because it’s been used for so long to deprecate women. I have, admittedly, used the word that way myself when describing someone who is harsh, bossy, catty, mean, or temperamental. I’ve even used it to describe women who put their careers first at the expense of their families and loved ones. That is not what we are talking about. “Boss Bitch” is not the same as a bossy bitch, and I’ve come to embrace the word as a sort of feminist badge when used in the more traditional context, especially in regards to strong, alpha females, who rule their pack (think wolves) as strong and independent leaders. In fact, the urban dictionary defines a Boss Bitch as:

“A confident, successful, and independent woman who speaks her mind and stands up for what she believes in.”

I like that. I like that a lot. In fact, I think that’s something we should all aspire to, whether male or female. So, what do all these boss bitches have in common? What does it take to be a Boss Bitch? Here are my Top 10 qualities for being a Boss Bitch:

• Passionate: Boss bitches have found their calling or at least something they are truly passionate about. Whether it’s caring for their family, feeding the homeless, or making a place for themselves in this male-driven world, boss bitches know what is important, and they aren’t going to let a little something like “the norm” or “tradition” keep them from achieving it.

• Vocal: Boss bitches are not afraid to share their voices. They speak up when they see injustice, whether it’s in the form of #metoo or #freebritney. 

• Authentic: Boss bitches are real. They are true to themselves and they don’t dim their beautiful and brilliant light just to fit in with what society has said they should be.

• Confident: A boss bitch knows what she is capable of and she believes in herself. She is courageous and willing to take on daunting tasks. She does the right thing, even when it’s scary because she knows that fear is often a sign that she’s on the right path.

• Independent: A boss bitch knows that some things have to be done alone, without the support of others. She’s willing to do all the work herself if she has to because she knows she can. If others step up to help, then all the better.

• Hard Worker: Boss bitches have a great work ethic. They won’t quit until the job is done and they aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty or mess up their pretty manicure. She’s a good employee, and an even better boss because she’s not afraid to get in there and do the job as a part of the team.

• Gracious: Boss bitches are not bitchy. They are courteous, kind, and well-mannered. Classy and tasteful. Graceful under pressure. Likewise, boss bitches would never put someone down, belittle, or disparage others. They respect authority and work within the current system to make things right or get what they or others deserve.

• Supportive: Boss bitches empower others to be their best selves, too. They don’t feel threatened by someone else’s success. They share their knowledge and experience with others, so they can be boss bitches, too.

• Loyal:  Ride or die, a boss bitch is there until the end, no matter what it takes. But you better deserve it.

• Grateful:  Above all, a boss bitch lives a life of gratitude. She knows she pulled herself up by her bootstraps, but she also recognizes and appreciates the fact that sometimes she’s had help along the way. She is thankful for all the boss bitches who came before her, as well as her friends, family, fellow bitches, community, and faith.

I think these are good qualities for anyone to have, and whether or not you agree with using the phrase “Boss Bitch,” maybe it is something we should all strive to be. 

Do you know a real boss bitch? Give her a shout-out here or on our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Don’t like the phrase “Boss Bitch?” What are some other titles we could use to acknowledge these fabulously strong and powerful ladies?

Women in STEM

Hello everyone! Last Saturday (February 11) was International Day of Women and Girls in Science. This week on the podcast, we are looking at women in STEM and talking about the movie Hidden Figures. If you need clarification on what STEM means, it means Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math.

International Day of Women and Girls in Science is an annual observance adopted by the United Nations in 2015 to promote equal access to women in STEM fields. In comparison to males, women are largely underrepresented in the science and technology fields. But why are women so denigrated in these fields?

According to the United Nations, only one in three scientific researchers are women, and when they are able to research, they are given smaller grants than men. Women are also easily passed over for promotion compared to men and their research careers tend to be shorter. Women are particularly unaccounted for in the scientific field of Artificial Intelligence at only 22%. The United Nations attributes the low number of women working in STEM-related fields to gender stereotypes as the main cause.

Sima Bahous, head of the UN Women, the UN entity dedicated to gender equality and empowerment of women, states that gender stereotypes can be “found embedded in curricula, textbooks, and teaching and learning practices. The choices imposed upon girls in school shape their careers and employment opportunities as adults.” Bahous believes that the only way to change the picture for women in STEM is a “paradigm shift” which includes acknowledging and removing potential barriers that hinder women’s progress in STEM careers. Bahous also believes that “educational reform” is also needed to foster curiosity in scientific discoveries. Aside from educational reform, other ways schools can recruit future female scientists include scholarships, internships, mentorships, and incentives. 

These things are a good start for an education in STEM but encouragement at home is also needed. In my personal experience, I was never encouraged to pursue a career that was in a male-dominated field. My parents only encouraged me to pursue a “female career” such as teaching and nursing, and encouragement definitely starts at home. When I was a child, I raised and bred rabbits. My constant work with animals began an interest in veterinary sciences at a young age. If you had asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was always a veterinarian, which was a highly male-dominated field at the time (the late 90s), according to an article by Today’s Veterinary Practice. 

Today, however, women veterinarians dominate over men at a whopping 63% according to the American Veterinary Medical Association. Eventually, I gave up on science and started pursuing writing (which was also discouraged by my parents) and eventually a teaching certification. I wish that I had been encouraged to pursue science when I was younger.

I still enjoy science, especially astronomy, and psychology. I hope to one day get my Master’s degree in psychology with a focus on school counseling. One of my goals for this year is to complete my essay and start applying for Spring 2024.

I would like to hear from our readers. Have you seen the movie Hidden Figures? Do you enjoy science? What female pioneers in the scientific field do you admire the most? Please, let’s continue the conversation below!