My Big Fat Excel List

 

If you listened to yesterday’s podcast, you probably realized we are very nerdy (like you didn’t know that already). How many people do you know that get so excited over making lists? I know a few, but then, I also know a lot of people who give me some side-eye when I talk about it. So yeah, I agree, it’s not for everyone, but then, neither is budgeting, cleaning house, or a whole lot of other things that are “good for us”. And yes, I really do think making lists is good for us. It’s good for the mind, it’s good for the soul. We can use lists to help us make decisions (pros vs. cons), brainstorm ideas, clear our mind (brain dump), and even remind us to be grateful.

The other day, I was reminded of how helpful lists are when I started my weekly planning routine.  If you watched our “Plan with Us” live stream back in May, you may recall that I mentioned using a Brain Dump worksheet and an Eisenhower Matrix to help me remember and prioritize all the tasks I have to keep up with for my home, family, and work life. Those two tools work very well, but I often felt like things were still falling through the cracks. For instance, if you look at the Eisenhower Matrix, you’ll see that there are only nine lines in each of the four quadrants. I look at that and think it might be enough lines for all the things I have to do today, but it certainly won’t be enough space to list out everything that needs to be done for the whole week, much less the month or long-term goals. I have similar problems making lists and laying out goals in my planners and using the PowerSheets® Tending Lists. So what’s a goal-setting, planner girl to do? 

Create a spreadsheet, of course!

After fussing about with my growing list of tasks that I had jotted down here, there and everywhere, I decided to compile all of my to-do lists and tasks into one comprehensive list that I could refer to every week while I’m laying out my planner. The list includes everything from daily work routines to step-by-step actions for each of my major goals for the year, along with several long-term pipe dreams. For each task, I have estimated the amount of time it would take to complete, the frequency if it is a repeating task, the date I would like to complete it (which updates every time I open the file for those daily tasks), and a rating system based on the Eisenhower Matrix. Thus, when I sort the list by date and rank, I wind up with the most urgent and important items at the top, ranked in order by urgency and importance. No more do I have to spend half my Sunday figuring out which tasks need to be done in what order throughout the week because the spreadsheet decides all that for me! Of course, I can choose to reorder the list in any way I choose, changing the ranking of items I feel are more important at the time. And if a new task or project comes up, I just add it to the list, assign the appropriate ranking levels, and sort…voila! 

This is a peak at my very long list I created in Excel.

I know this sort of nerdy spreadsheet automation is not for everyone, and it did take a little bit of time to set up, but I was so excited to discover how much time this little spreadsheet shaved off my planning time, and how accurately it helped me prioritize my tasks and allocate my time. I was also shocked at how many things I had on that list and realized it was no wonder that I am so overworked and overwhelmed at times. Having it all laid out on paper (because, of course, I printed it out) helped me look realistically at all the things I had committed myself to and to see that there’s no way I could do them all…or at least not right now. But having the list is also a reminder of the things I want to do…the things I am working towards and all that I want to accomplish. In creating this list and working from it diligently, I’m hoping to tick more tasks off of it than I add, and if I keep whittling it down, eventually I can get it to a manageable and reasonable size.

Oh, who am I kidding…we all know I’m already thinking of more things I want to add to it!

*There are several great spreadsheet applications available to make a list of your own. I made mine in Microsoft Excel, but you could also use Apple’s Numbers, or even Google Sheets, which is a cloud-based spreadsheet application that you can use from just about any device – and the bonus is, it’s free!

Keeping Your Priorities Straight

In yesterday’s podcast, Amber, Christen, and I discussed the challenges of balancing work and home life. It’s been an age-old problem, and not just for women. In the past, I’ve been a helpless bystander as I watched my husband work himself to death at a very demanding job that left him exhausted at the end of the day with no energy or time for his family. It was brutal, and it was damaging, both physically and mentally. I am no different. There are times when my job demands that I finish certain projects on a deadline, and I find myself working alone in the wee hours of the morning, trying to get it all done. At the time, it felt like it was my biggest priority, but was it?

Today is the 6th anniversary of the day I learned that I had breast cancer, which started an onslaught of doctors appointments, surgeries, radiation treatments, and medications that had unpleasant side effects. Around that same time, I also found out I was a Type 2 diabetic (more medicine, more doctors, more yuk). I also wound up with injuries to both my knees, requiring two surgeries, countless sessions of physical therapy, and chronic pain.

At a recent therapy session, I was chatting with my counselor about how busy I was and how I didn’t have time for this or that task that was weighing on me. I was bemoaning the fact that I have so many doctor's appointments all the time, often two or three in the same week, and how it felt like an imposition on my time. Time I should be using to further my business or clean my house. Time to do that bookkeeping that’s overdue. Time to tend to my own self-care by crafting or reading or watching a movie. How was I supposed to get all these things done if I had to spend two or three of my work days every week at doctor’s appointments? I felt inconvenienced and I resented it, but she helped me see it in a different light.

I can’t remember exactly how she worded it, but the essence of her point was, “Your health is the most important thing, right?” I had to admit that she was right. My immediate health was of primary concern, even though I often put that concern aside to take care of everyone else – a habit that many women have passed down from generation to generation. Women tend to take care of everyone but themselves and only tend to their own needs once everyone else’s needs have been met. My mother-in-law was one of those moms, and in the end, that was what killed her. She spent her whole life taking care of everyone but herself, and by the time she got the wake-up call to address her own issues, it was too late. It breaks my heart, because she was a beautiful and vibrant woman whom I admired very much.

Women aren’t the only ones who do it; men have a frustrating tendency to downplay their illness and injuries because they don’t want to admit their vulnerabilities and because they value their ability to be the provider for their families above all else. 

So why do we do this? Why do we ignore the pain in our back, the signs of high blood pressure, or our growing waistline? The thought goes that taking time to care for ourselves is taking away from our “priorities,” and so those “very important tasks” won't get done.  We assume (you know where that gets us) that our work and taking care of our family are our biggest priorities. But what if we looked at it another way?

Our health, both mental and physical, works in a sort of snowball effect. When we ignore the signs and symptoms of illness or injury, those signs and symptoms usually get worse, progressing into bigger and bigger problems. Problems that may become so big that we are unable to work. It may even threaten our life. By addressing the issues as they occur, by making our health a priority (which it should be), we can spend a little time now to avoid a bigger problem later. We can’t earn that paycheck if we are laid up in bed after a heart attack. The first and foremost priority is always to protect your own health so you can continue to provide for the people who depend on you. That’s why the tedious demonstration at the beginning of your flight reminds you to put on your own mask first before helping your child or anyone else – you can’t save your baby if you’ve already passed out.

When my therapist put it to me that way (and believe me, she didn’t use that many words; I came up with all that by myself), it really struck a nerve. All this time I had been resenting my doctor appointments because they diverted my time from things I’d rather be doing, when all the while, I should have been grateful to have this opportunity to figure out what was wrong and to correct it. I should have been grateful for the doctors, the insurance that pays for them, and the medicines we use to make me better. I should be grateful that the doctors were so thorough and so concerned about getting it just right. I shouldn’t begrudge this time; I should embrace it. And when I thought of it that way, everything changed.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that all those other things aren’t important. We still have to get up and go to work, wash the laundry, and get the kids off to school or whatever, but if the laundry is a day or two late because I had an appointment to get an x-ray on the thumb I jammed the day before, or if I have to go back to my doctor for a follow-up on the new medication I started, then I should just appreciate my doc’s due diligence. The laundry can wait, and my boss doesn’t want me to pass out at work because my medication is the wrong dosage. If I hadn’t gone to that mammogram appointment 6 years ago, if I hadn’t followed up with the biopsy or the thorough physical with my primary care physician, I might never have known I had cancer or diabetes until it was too late. Those simple acts of taking time to do what was right for my health saved me from much bigger problems down the road; it probably saved my life. So remember, you can’t look only at the issues that are burning right now. You have to consider the long-term effects of the things you don’t take care of now, too. 

Here are some tips my therapist suggested to help me prioritize, and don’t forget, you can use that handy Eisenhower Matrix we talked about!

• Make your health a priority:  You can’t help others unless you take care of yourself. A broken wheel will upset the whole cart.

• Assess and reassess your tasks and priorities:  What is really important and what can wait. Is the world going to fall apart if you stop and take 5 minutes to schedule an appointment? Keep adjusting the list of priorities as the day or week goes on. Just because you set something as a priority on Monday does not mean it is still the most important thing on Wednesday.

• Do what would help most right now:  If you’re short on time because you need to take a little self-care time, then look at that list of priorities and decide what would be most helpful right now.  Sometimes getting a little win, crossing something quick and easy off your list, or alleviating the burden of a bigger project will help take the weight off your shoulders. And what you choose as “helpful right now” may not be the same thing you would choose as “helpful” tomorrow, so really take a hard look at that list of tasks and do what you can.

• Make the most of what you are doing:  This goes back to Eckhart Tolle and his lessons about being fully present. Don’t go into that doctor’s office thinking about what you should be doing – use that time to focus on your health. Accept the fact that you are there. Be focussed on the reason you are there, and make the most of it. Enjoy the opportunity to take care of yourself. Have enthusiasm for the process of working with your doctor to make you healthy. It is amazingly empowering.

If you are like me and my husband, and you tend to put off your own self-care to take care of your home, your work, or your loved ones, I hope this article has helped you see things in a different light. You can’t build a house with a broken hammer. Fix your hammer, then you can figure out how to build your house. Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll comment below or join us in the Facebook chat group to continue the conversation.