Cups

When you were a child, did you fill your glass to the brim so that it was too full and you couldn’t move it without spilling? Did it seem terribly important to get those extra few sips into the cup, as if you might not have another glass of milk for a long time? Do you still do that today?  I do.

 

I can close my eyes and reflect on how many times I’ve tiptoed from the kitchen to my desk with a full cup of coffee sloshing against the brim, feeling the dribbles of sweet, creamy deliciousness trickling over my fingers, which I then lick off when I get back to my seat.  Once I’m settled in, I take a big sip and savor the rich, warm mouthful, and I feel like it’s worth the extra effort I took just to get it here. 

Sometimes I walk just a little too fast, or I turn the corner into my studio too jerkily, and a splash of that sumptuous goodness will slosh over the side, splatting on the floor, or even my clothes and shoes. I’m in such a hurry to get back to my routine, that I forget how precious each little drop is, and instead waste it on a floor that has to be mopped or clothes that now have to be changed and washed. I’m always disappointed when that happens, and it takes me away from both my planned work and the fulfillment of that first heavenly sip because not only have you lost one precious sip, but, by the time the mess is cleaned, the coffee is no longer at the ideal temperature to evaporate on your tongue. That moment of sweet and savory satisfaction is gone.

 

I’ve tried different things to combat the problem, but it always ends up the same. I’ve used a bigger cup, in the mistaken belief that I will be satisfied with the same amount of coffee, but no, the cup just gets fuller and fuller, as if that extra inch or two of space below the rim is just begging to be filled, either with more coffee, or more likely, with more creamer. Pretty soon, I have the same problem, but with a bigger cup. It’s as if the liquid delight magically expands to fill the space it’s in.

 

I think we sometimes have that same mentality in other areas of our lives. Our cups are full to overflowing, filled with activities, wants, needs, and whatever we can use to fill the space; we can’t enjoy our pursuits without a little bit spilling out the sides and being wasted now and then. My daughter and I were discussing this very thing a few days ago.  She had read an article about people who are perpetually late, which, of course, we both are.  The report postulated that being late wasn’t a symptom of someone with poor time management skills, but rather, a personality trait of someone who can’t be bothered to wait. Late people can’t stand to do nothing or to kill time. Rather than waste that little bit of extra time waiting for the meeting to start or the doctor’s office to open, we fill the available space with as much activity as we can, and sometimes (well, okay, most of the time), it backfires on us by overflowing into other activities, disrupting our plans and throwing everything off.

 

I’m completely guilty of this. I schedule so many must do’s into each day that there is no possible way to get them all done.  I arrive at every appointment at least 5 minutes late, and I can never seem to get where I’m going without running back into the house to pick up this, that, or the other that I left behind.  I do it with my budget, seeing an extra $5 on my spreadsheet and thinking to myself, “Oh, now I can get that…” whatever-it-is that I think I need that winds up overdrawing my bank account because I forgot about that auto-charge that hadn’t gone through yet. I even do it with food; I’ll order too much, or fill my plate too full, just in case what I want doesn’t fill me up.  I’m so blinded by the potential of what I could put in my cup that I forget to stop and ask myself if I should.  And honestly, most of the time, I shouldn’t.

 

Selecting “simplify” as my One Little Word this year has been both a blessing and a curse.  It’s definitely an area I need to work on, and it has proven to be quite the challenge. The only way I can truly simplify is to stop putting so much in the cup.  To let there be empty spaces in my activities, in my time, in my heart. Only then can I begin to embrace the idea that less is more, that I don’t have to fill all the available space, and that what I have is truly enough.

The essay above was one I wrote several years ago while taking a writing workshop with Ali Edwards. If you have a comment or would like to share your perspective, please share in the comments below, or start a post in our MMC Chat group.