My Take on Astrology

Hey guys, Christen here. This week on the podcast we dove into the topic of astrology.  Well, I guess you could say we cannonballed into it. I know that the three of us,  Amber, Cindy and I, really enjoy discussing topics like astrology, numerology, tarot, crystals, and spiritualism. There are so many topics that I know we want to discuss, and during the podcast we  sometimes barely scratch the surface. 

Observing  the Earth’s position with regards to the sun, stars and moon has been a practice for thousands of years. Only in the last few centuries has that science diverged into astronomy, leaving astrology in the dust. Many consider astrology to be a pseudoscience.  There was a strong pull away from astrology when scientists argued that it could not be proven by fact. Ultimately, once we were able to prove that the earth revolves around the sun, the two “sciences” split ways, and astrology became the scientific fact, and anything else is considered pseudoscience and parapsychology. So Capernicus, the leading mathematician and astronomer of his day, decided that he would follow astrological phenomena, and not astrology, and boom, astrology is “fake news”. He was a Pisces (just saying), and he studied at the University of Bologna - no joke! The shift actually happened over a longer period of time, but astronomy phased in and astrology phased out. But astrology has never died. Over the past 200 years, there has been a new wave of interest in the occult, esoteric topics, and parapsychology. In the 1840’s with spiritualism, and in the 1970’s with the New Age movement, many of the beliefs within astrology have seen a resurgence and are still followed today.

Even so, I will sometimes swap out the words astrology and astronomy by mistake. I have always enjoyed the study of outer space and the ideas of the beyond pertaining to astronomy, the study of space and the universe, but astrology is a topic that has piqued my interests far beyond the facts and figures of astronomy. I was drawn to it at a young age. I know we have mentioned that my mom used to have some books by Linda Goodman, Sun Signs and Love Signs , that went into detail about each zodiac personality type. I discovered those books and was hooked. 

When I got older, I bought a book for myself that I highly recommend called The Secret Language of Birthdays: Your Complete Personology Guide for Each Day of the Year by Goldschneider and Joost. This book features a two-page, in-depth personality report for each day of the year. I have lugged this book from home to home, and it was always a favorite when guests came over. I could almost guarantee that someone would open it and take a look. I often would crack it open myself if I met a new person and happened to know their birthdate. It was an easy way to “get to know'' someone without having to be too nosey.

I will admit though that using the book, or any horoscope, zodiac website, or book to discern a person’s characteristics is not the best way to get to know someone. In reality, it can create a biased opinion of someone, and cause you to inadvertently treat them differently than you would if you had met them and learned about them organically. It is like knowing the future or a possible future outcome, and making different choices based on something that might or might not happen in reality. For example, I know that people born under the Cancer sign are prone to be temperamental according to many personality trait sources, however one Cancer in my life that I am very close to is probably one of the most level-headed people that I know; I actually admire her for it. Had I read that she was temperamental, I probably would have avoided her, and missed out on an opportunity to build the relationship that I have with her today. I know another Cancer, and love-her-to-death, she has a volatile personality that is easily triggered. Cool as a cucumber and volcanic emotions are far from similar, yet they both have the same astrological sign. I have to consider Nature vs. Nurture and wonder how their environment and raising come into play. But I digress... astrology is a tool, and just like a hammer, you can build things, and you can smash things, so use the tool wisely.

Another tool that interests me is Witches’ Almanacs. I have never purchased one, but I am thinking of getting one this year. Very soon actually. The LLewellyn’s 2023 Magical Almanac should be available here in July, from my favorite publishing company, Llewellyn. This almanac, like the Farmer's Almanac, gives the reader guidance based on the sun, moon, and stars, but from a metaphysical approach. If any of this interests you, I recommend checking it out. I have used the internet to pull dates and put them into my own day planner in the past, so I look forward to adding this to my planning rituals. 

I will be sure to follow up once I get one and look forward to sharing it with our readers. I would love for you to share as well. We love to carry the conversation over to our MMC chat group on Facebook. I hope that you enjoy listening to our podcasts as well, if you are not listening, then you are missing out on part of the conversation. Be sure to click on the Listen link at the top of this page or find us on Apple Music or wherever you get your podcasts. We also have a YouTube channel where you can listen to the podcast or watch an instructional video.

According to Astrology...

I don’t want to just throw out my exact age here since I am considered the “maiden”, but I’m going to because the reason that I am the maiden is that I’m the youngest, I’m unmarried, and I don’t have any children (unless you count my students). I also look at life with a sense of childlike wonder which hasn’t changed no matter how many things get thrown at me. That, being said, I was born on November 28, 1983. Why is this significant? Knowing the predictions behind your birthday can be incredibly important.

What even is astrology anyway?  On our upcoming podcast, we will define astrology and discuss the meanings behind it. Is astrology pseudoscience? Does it predict the future? According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, it is a “type of divination that involves the forecasting of earthly and human events through the observation and interpretation of the fixed stars, the Sun, the Moon, and the planets.” Astrology is very old. It has been around since ancient Babylon (18th century B.C.). I cannot say whether astrology predicts the future or not, but I can tell you what it says about me.

My Life Path Number is 6: Life Path numbers help you figure out where you are going in life and help you understand deeper aspects of your personality. Being a 6, I have the compulsive need to change the world creatively. I have a desire to uplift and inspire others and I am seen as a stabilizer and a problem solver, according to Christine DeLorey of Creative Numerology. You can calculate your number here.

My Zodiac Sign is Sagittarius: Zodiac signs can give you an insight into your basic personality traits (for better or worse). Sagittarius is the ninth zodiac sign and it stretches from November 21-December 21. According to Sarah Regan of Mind Body Green, a Sagittarius is always seeking freedom and adventure but they are also very stable and rational. My strengths are adaptability, generosity, and a great sense of humor while my weaknesses are impatience and the fact that I say what’s on my mind too much.

Sagittarius is a Fire Sign: Each of the 12 astrological signs falls under one of the four elements which are earth, air, fire, and water. According to Sarah Regan of Mind Body Green, fire signs are “passionate, dynamic, and temperamental.” Fire signs are high-energy and tend to move at a faster pace than other signs. Fire signs also tend to be more impulsive than other signs.

The Sagittarius symbol is The Archer: The archer's arrow is always pointing upwards which means that Sagittarius is always aiming higher in life whether it is spiritually, emotionally, or financially. The arrow pointing up also “expresses wisdom and honesty” according to Astrostyle.

My Ruling Planet is Jupiter: Every Zodiac sign has a ruling planet and your ruling planet influences how your sign is expressed. The planet Jupiter, in astrology, is associated with luck, optimism, and positivity. According to Andrea Lawrence of Exemplore, Jupiter influences activities, and encourages goal-setting, chasing dreams, curiosity, and risk-taking. Jupiter is a ruling planet for knowledge-seekers.

My birthstone is Topaz and Citrine: Birthstones represent a person’s birth month. According to Farmer's Almanac, topaz symbolizes love and affection, and citrine can calm and heal. I often wear a citrine necklace or carry citrine with me for personal healing and good vibes. It just so happens that it’s my birthstone, and its color is amber, like my name.

I was born on a Monday: The day of the week you were born can also hold significance according to Vedic Astrology. According to Dr. Pratibha Singh of Eastrohelp, people born on Monday make unpredictable and emotional decisions over practical decisions. People born on Monday are also very creative, romantic, and can be very jealous lovers. Monday-born people can also be quite vengeful if they are stabbed in the back. Oftentimes, Monday’s child thrives in problem-solving careers.

I was born in a Waning Crescent moon phase: According to MoonGlow, the lunar personality of a Waning Crescent Moon is that of a “thinker.” People love to talk to “thinkers” because they make great conversation and are good listeners. Aside from that, people born during a Waning Crescent moon have a creative way of thinking (or overthinking), are artistic, imaginative, and can easily come up with creative solutions to problems.

I was born in The Year of the Water Pig: Per the Chinese Zodiac, “Pigs are diligent, compassionate, and generous. They have great concentration: once they set a goal, they will devote all their energy to achieving it. Though Pigs rarely seek help from others, they will not refuse to give others a hand. Pigs never suspect trickery, so they are easily fooled.” Pigs are also calm in the face of trouble, can handle problems carefully, and have a great sense of responsibility to finish what they start. 

My Lasso of Fate is The Lovers Tarot card: “The Lovers tarot card denotes someone who makes choices from the heart. This is someone who needs to emotionally and intellectually connect to every aspect of their lives,” according to Astronumerology.

There are many debates and theories on astronomy. One could say that you could change aspects of your personality to align with your horoscope. Is this an exact science? No, it isn’t. Is it fun? Yes, it is. Astrology combines some of my favorite parts of divination. If someone who knows me reads this, they would probably say all of the things above describe me. Is it fate? Was I born to be the way that I am? Astrology says yes. It’s all about perspective. Coincidence? You decide. I don’t even ready my horoscope regularly.

I want to hear from our readers. How much faith do you put in astrology? Let’s continue the conversation in our Facebook Group: MMC Chat.

Heard it on the Podcast - October 25, 2023

    

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we do most Wednesdays to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here's the links for this week:

25-Oct-2023

S3E43:  3 Things a Witch Needs

We didn't mention any links this week, but here's a few of our podcast episodes and blogs that correlate to this subject:

• Oracle Cards episode
• Oracle Cards blog posts
• Astrology episode
• Astrology blog posts
• Palmistry episode
• Palmistry blog posts
• What is a Grimoire episode
• What is a Grimoire blog posts

Celebrating the Wheel of the Year Your Own Way

Hi everyone, it is Christen here! This week on the podcast we discussed what being Pagan actually means to us and our own experiences related to Paganism. I will start off by mentioning that I believe the word Pagan or Paganism should be capitalized and if you want to know why, please go here. Now that I got that off my chest,  I thought it would be fun to talk about a couple of favorite sabbats, and talk about creating new ones for you and your family.

Like so many other people in America, I enjoy Christmas and Halloween. I am sure that I have mentioned before that the time from mid-October to January is my favorite time of the year. I have also mentioned my favorite holiday traditions in a previous blog post. Christmas has reigned champion for the past few years, but for the longest time, Halloween was my most favorite time. I loved the haunted houses, scary movies, fall carnivals, trick-or-treating in costume, and decorating my home - all traditions that have been passed on from my family or integrated by me.

In recent years, the Day of the Dead has become more prevalent in American culture, especially here in Texas. I have been fortunate to experience the celebrations, and I have taken some of the traditions within this holiday and married it with my own Samhain traditions which are similar in some ways.

If you are interested in learning about the eight Wiccan holidays, I highly recommend the book The Sabbats: A Witch's Approach to Living the Old Ways by Edain McCoy. This book breaks down each of the sabbats by explaining from who and where the traditions came, why these specific times of the year were celebrated, and how you can celebrate them at home. The part that I like the most, is that the traditions are focused on celebrating the wheel of the year or the turning of the seasons. I truly enjoy embracing the seasons and the activities that are enjoyed during that time.

Sometimes celebrations take planning though, or they will just zoom right past you and you will have your hands full and can’t celebrate. And that is why Mom and I are always planning out fun family activities. Once we have done something twice, we consider it a tradition, and, if you do it a specific way every time, then it’s a ritual. I have had serious thoughts about making my own traditions that correlate with the wheel of the year. That's why I am positive I will be picking up Llewellyn's 2023 Magical Almanac this year when it comes out (I mentioned it back when we were discussing astrology). I still believe strongly that we should honor the earth and celebrate the harvest and those who till the earth, and also honor those who have left this earth, and I feel that we should instill those values with our youth, but in these modern times, I feel that the celebrations need to be customized to our current environment. I mean, I do not see a maypole anywhere on Beltane, the celebration of spring and growth on May 1st, so we just have to improvise.

Here is some food for thought: National Taco Day is a celebration of our adoration of tacos; we are not worshiping them by any means, but in a sense we are thankful for the blessing of this delicious cuisine. In doing so, we are creating a holiday tradition, with a ritual. We are in essence creating and celebrating a Pagan holiday, simply because it is not a religious orthodox celebration. In that case, bring on the Pagan holidays, I will have as many of them as I can possibly fill my calendar up with! 

Do you have any family traditions that could be considered Pagan? Have you ever participated in any of the Wiccan holidays? I would love to hear from you! Be sure to comment below or join in on the conversation over in our MMC Chat group on Facebook!

What is Pagan

Meditation is considered by many to be pagan.

If you’ve been reading the blog or listening to the podcast, you’ve probably seen or heard us mention things that fall into the category of “metaphysical”. Without a doubt, Amber, Christen, and I are fascinated by such things as astrology, numerology, tarot cards, spirit guides, holistic medicine, and many other aspects of what many would call “pagan beliefs”. I also consider myself a “Christian” because I believe in Jesus Christ as the son of God, and have been baptized as a pledge of that belief. For a long time, I was torn between my Christian beliefs and these so-called “pagan” practices. I had been taught that anything pagan was evil. But what exactly is “pagan”?

We talk more about the origin of the term “pagan”, which comes from the Latin word “paganus”, in the podcast, but the short explanation is that it was used to describe the simple country folk of the Roman Empire who had not yet embraced Christianity, and more strictly so, the people who still believed in the religions of ancient Rome and Greece. The term was later broadened to include a wide variety of religious beliefs and traditions including Buddhism, Hinduism, and, most especially, the ancient spirituality of the British Isles and Europe. In more recent years, it has been broadened further to include Native American traditions as well. As someone once told me, “Most people [incorrectly] use the term to include anything that isn’t in the Bible, and thus, isn’t Christian.”

Easter eggs, Halloween, Christmas trees, and even birthday cakes came from pagan practices.

The truth is, many people have no idea what paganism actually is, nor the differences between paganism, mysticism, spirituality, religion, and Wicca. I thought it would be a good idea to share some terminology with you. Two that seem to confuse people the most are spirituality and religion. I love the explanation given by Pamela Aloia in “Spirituality: The Path to Reconciling Religion and Energy Work.”1 She says, basically:

• Religion is the man-made portion of law, conduct, beliefs, and more surrounding the relationship with God [or other deities] that creates the boundaries within that sect of worship and ritual.

• Spirituality is the personal relationship we have with God that inspires worship and rituals outside of manmade laws and beliefs.

• Basically, spirituality comes from within and religion comes from without.

I like to think of spirituality as being in touch with my soul. It’s what helps me learn to appreciate the beauty that is all around me in the plants, animals, weather, and yes, even people of this earth. My spirituality is what allows me to appreciate all that I have and helps me learn to accept people as they are, life as it is, and the future as something I can help shape. My religion is what has taught me about the divine creator of this world and the magnificent gift of his own son in order for me to learn a better way and to pave my way for a life beyond this life I currently lead.

Like religion and spirituality, three other words that often get mixed up are paganism, mysticism, and Wicca. Here are the definitions. I’ve cited sources where possible.

• A Pagan is an unconverted member of a people or nation who does not practice Christianity, Judaism, or Islam, especially a follower of a polytheistic religion (as in ancient Rome), or one who has little or no religion and who delights in sensual pleasures and material goods – an irreligious or hedonistic person. Paganism is the beliefs or practices of someone who is pagan.2

• Mysticism is the belief that direct knowledge of God, spiritual truth, or ultimate reality can be attained through subjective experience.3

• Wicca is a religion influenced by pre-Christian beliefs and practices of western Europe that affirms the existence of supernatural power (such as magic) and of both male and female deities who inhere in nature and that emphasizes ritual observance of seasonal and life cycles.4

• Heathen refers to people or nations that do not practice Christianity, Judaism, or Islam, their religions, or their customs; an uncivilized or irreligious person.5

As you can see, these concepts are closely related, but really not exactly the same thing at all. One can be a Christian and still observe pagan or even mystical traditions. Many of the so-called “pagan” practices I have enjoyed are not religious at all and have no bearing on my religious beliefs, while many of the religious practices widely observed in America (like Christmas trees, Easter eggs, and Halloween) stem from pagan and even Wiccan religious rituals, yet they are enjoyed by Christians and non-Christians alike. I don’t have a problem with that at all.

What do you think? Do you practice any pagan-based holiday traditions? Has that interfered with your religious beliefs? Let us know. Join us in the Facebook group MMC Chat.

1. https://thriveglobal.com/stories/spirituality-the-path-to-reconciling-religion-and-energy-work/

2. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “pagan,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pagan.

3. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “mysticism,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mysticism.

4. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “Wicca,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Wicca.

5. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “heathen,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/heathen.

 

Heard it on the Podcast - June 1, 2022

 

 

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. Here's the links for this week:

1-June-2022

S2E23: Astrology

• Linda Goodman, Sun Signs:  https://tinyurl.com/SunSignsAmazon
• Linda Goodman, Love Signs:  https://tinyurl.com/LoveSignsAmazon
• Free Natal Charts:  https://astro.cafeastrology.com/index.php

Staying Motivated: Lessons from the Moon

One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that motivation is not constant. I cannot count the number of times I’ve been super psyched about a project that felt like the end-all-be-all, only to lose interest completely when things got tough or didn’t work out as I’d planned. I used to kick myself over it until I learned a simple truth: motivation changes over time, and the best way to stay motivated for the long haul is to go with the flow and work with how you feel about it now.

There are multiple lessons in my Noom app on the topic of motivation. A graphic in one lesson reminded me of a roller coaster, and Noom’s description of the phases of motivation make it a perfect analogy. 

• Momentum:  As with any roller coaster, motivation starts by gathering momentum. That’s the “hype” part of the process, where you are moving up-up-up at a steady climb. This is when you are working your hardest and making the biggest strides. We’re all excited at the beginning of a new project, right? 

• Coasting:  At the height of your efforts, you reach the plateau that Noom calls “the honeymoon,” where you are just coasting along on all the work you’ve put in and things are going well. But then, suddenly, you crest the peak, and what happens? 

• Plunging:  Noom calls the fall after the peak “the plummet.” This is when your momentum slips and down you go. Just like the roller coaster, once you hit the top of that peak, you will eventually come back down. Reality has set in, and your motivation starts to decrease. Maybe you’re not making the progress you wanted to, or you slip up and eat a donut. Whatever the cause, your motivation takes a big hit, and suddenly you are having a hard time getting interested at all.

• Stopping: Sadly, this is where many people get stuck. Noom calls it a “lapse,” but whatever it is, you stop doing whatever it was that had you so motivated when you started out. We start allowing thought distortions (when our mind convinces us of things that aren’t true) to guide us, and that often means that we decide to give up. 

• Ebbs and Flows: But roller coasters don’t stop after one hill, and your motivation doesn’t have to, either! Over time, your motivation will come and go, but you can use your lapses to grow, learn, and get stronger!

So, what does the moon have to do with motivation, surprisingly, a lot. The moon is the closest celestial object in our sky, and as it so happens, like motivation, it is cyclic. The cycles of the moon are so predictable that humans have been marking seasons, predicting weather, planting crops, and much more since the beginning of recorded time. Whether or not you follow aspects of astrology or believe in the crazies of the full moon, you can still use the lessons of this magnificent orb to ride the waves of your motivational ups and downs.

People all over the world have believed in following the phases of the moon for timing of specific activities. Even our farmer’s almanac has information about the moon phases. In the interest of keeping this short and simple, I’m breaking the moon’s cycles into four phases: the new moon, the waxing moon, the full moon, and the waning moon.

• The New Moon: This is the start of the moon’s (almost) 30-day cycle. This is a great time to speculate, plan, set goals, clarify intentions, and make initial contact. This is the start of your momentum, the station on the roller coaster where you get in the car.

• The Waxing Moon: Technically, this is three phases: the waxing crescent, the first quarter, and the waxing gibbous moon. This is the period when the “hype” of your momentum is building, just like the moon is growing daily in size. By focusing on the action phases of your projects, you are building and working towards your goals. Use this energy while you have it!

• The Full Moon: This is when the moon is shining its brightest! Sometimes, it’s what we might call a “super moon” which means it is closer to the Earth on this orbit and it looks bigger in the sky than normal. This is when we can see how much we have accomplished and be grateful for it. Celebrate all your wins, big and small, and enjoy the momentum you have built up!

• The Waning Moon: The cycle begins to wind to the close, and so the waning moon starts to diminish in size over the course of the three waning phases: the disseminating or waning gibbous moon, the last (or third) quarter, and the final phase, the waning crescent, which includes the final 3 days of the cycle called the balsamic or dark of the moon. Like the cycle of motivation, this is the time of winding down, releasing, reducing, decreasing, resting, relaxing, meditation and retreat. It is a time of introspection and tying up loose ends. It’s a good time to let things happen and let things go. Break negative patterns. Re-evaluate what you’ve done so far and get ready to start off a new cycle with renewed energy, motivation, and maybe even a new approach.

I’ve been using the moon’s cycles for a while now, and I’ve found it helpful in staying productive and accomplishing my goals. The main thing to remember is that all motivation is cyclic, just like the moon, and if you can ride through the dips on that roller coaster, soon you’ll be riding the crest again. Just don’t stop. The moon never does.

Have you ever used the moon phases to accomplish a goal? I’d love to hear about it! Share your story below or start a conversation on our MMC Chat Facebook group!

Heard it on the Podcast - March 26, 2025

 

 

 

Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

26-MAR-2025

S5E13: What's in a Name?

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

• Behind the Clock episode
• The Best Baby Name Book in the Whole Wide World by Bruce Lansky
• Wiki How: Calculate Your Name Number
• Astrology Future Eye: Name Numerology Calculator

Don't forget to read this week's blogs and visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

 

What I am is What I am

 

I started writing this blog, and this title came to me from an Edie Brickel and the New Bohemians song (circa 1988). In it, the singer (Edie Brickel) expounds on her feelings about taking philosophy and religion too seriously. I know many people think that about psychology, too, especially when it comes to archetypes. You either believe in them or you don’t. I’ve found that the Myers-Briggs, enneagram, and even astrology archetypes present a simple way to categorize personalities, and they help me take a more logical approach to understanding who I am, how I operate,  and what my motivations might be. The same is true of Jung’s Collective Unconscious, which Amber brought to us earlier this week.

I think we discussed several of the archetypes in the podcast, and we all had opinions on which ones seemed to fit us the most. I’m not here to rehash all that. What I want to talk about is whether or not it is “okay” to be a certain personality type. Must we always try to change? To become more of this and less of that? Is there anything inherently wrong with just being who we are?

When we recorded our Enneagram episode, I discovered that I am a Type 1 – the Perfectionist, also known as the Reformer. In my follow-up blog post, I shared what that looked like for me and how I cope with being a perfectionist in a non-perfect world. Most of what I talked about was changing me, specifically, changing how I react when life isn’t perfect. I felt empowered to understand why some things just seem to drive me crazy, and why I always feel the need to “fix” things or make them “better.” But then, something a friend told me made me think differently.

I don’t remember how we got into the conversation, or even what the specific topic was, but I think I mentioned something about a person complaining about their life but not taking any action to make it better. The person in question was quite resistant to suggestions of any kind, as though they liked being stuck in a never-ending cycle of frustration and disappointment. My friend pointed out that I shouldn’t offer advice because not everyone wants to be fixed. I can’t remember exactly how she worded it, but the point was that the person who needed to change was me, not the person who was complaining. She wanted me to mind my own business and leave well enough alone.

To be honest, I was hurt. Deeply hurt. My friend made it sound like I go around picking out what is wrong with everyone and trying to change them into my own image, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t offer advice to everyone; in fact, I am very selective about the people I “nurture”, and I only provide it when I see that they are struggling with something or that a situation is hurting them. Even then, I don’t bring up the subject unless the person brings it up first, usually as a complaint, and the advice I offer is always based on my own experience with the same situation. However, my friend’s comment insinuated that my generosity in offering kind words of advice was some kind of character flaw that I needed to correct. Her comment made me start questioning everything I did.

I’m a Perfectionist/Reformer. It is my nature to try to fix things and make them better, not just for myself, but for everyone around me. Does that mean I am broken? Is being who I am wrong? For instance, another of my friends bemoaned the fact that her family never celebrated her birthday. This was after I had talked about what my family had done for my birthday. She insinuated that she wanted them to do something for her birthday, so I suggested that maybe she should just tell them what she wanted. Why suffer in silence? My family’s birthday celebrations didn’t just happen by accident – I planned them. I insisted on them. I made my expectations clear. Maybe, just maybe, her family didn’t even know that she wanted a birthday dinner. I said it pretty much like that, and I let it be. I didn’t goad her to take any action. I didn’t insinuate that she was wrong. I didn’t try to fix her. I just offered her another perspective, and I left it at that. Is that crossing some invisible line that I don’t know about?

Going back to Jung’s archetypes, in the podcast, we talked about how I am always busy, and how friends often tell me I do too much – that I should cut some of my activities out of my schedule. It always winds up turning into a discussion about how one friend does nothing but sit and read all day; she’s happy with that, but I cannot live that way. I enjoy having lots of things to do. I like having distractions from doing the same thing every day. I need multiple hobbies to balance out the multiple responsibilities that I am frequently burdened with, and which tend to take up most of my time. I can’t get rid of the responsibilities; if I were to cut back, it would mean giving up the things I enjoy. Yes, I would love to get rid of the extra responsibilities so that I have only fun things to do all day, but that’s not going to happen, and I am not willing to give up on the rest just because someone who doesn’t like to be busy thinks I do too much.

I’d also like to point out that I am somewhat confident that my personality lies somewhere on the autism spectrum. At the very least, I have ADHD and a bit of OCD, although not to the point that it interferes with my ability to live a fairly normal life. I’m quirky, have eclectic tastes, and tend to hop from one project to another. But in that autism/ADHD/OCD tangle is logic, and my brain loves logic. You might even say I have an engineer brain. So when I hear a problem, the logic part of my brain is looking for a solution. I am compelled to engineer my way out of it, even if what I am engineering is art, beliefs, or emotions. That’s who I am. I’m also very growth-minded. As a perfectionist and reformer, I want to be better, even if that means being less of a perfectionist and reformer. So my question circles back to this:

“If we, as healthy, self-accepting individuals, recognize these traits in ourselves and we understand how those tendencies affect us and the way we interact with others, isn’t that enough?” 

Are we somehow required to moderate those characteristics? To tone them down so they are more acceptable to others who aren’t so motivated? Does this need to change apply to all of the personality types? Am I supposed to dim my particular light just to fit in? And where do we draw that line? Is it every personality type, or just certain ones like the Perfectionist or the Performer? Are we supposed to balance ourselves so that we become more homogeneous? Is the end goal for us all to be the same? Or is it more likely that we need the Perfectionists to point out the flaws, just as we need the Epicure/Generalist to try all the things and discover what is new? By being different from one another, we help each other learn and grow, even when we don’t want to, and the balance comes from our diversity.  Isn’t it also true that those who are of my tribe will understand me and accept me as I am, a perfectionist and all?