We are three women who love to write and have great conversations. Join our weekly podcast where we discuss various topics in deeper learning, spirituality, and living healthier and more fulfilling lives.
We are three women who love to write and have great conversations. Join our weekly podcast where we discuss various topics in deeper learning, spirituality, and living healthier and more fulfilling lives.
Do you believe in fate? Or do you feel like everything that happens is by either human design or chance? I can tell you that I have had so many odd coincidences happen in my life that I simply can’t believe they are just accidents, and there’s no way you could convince me that human intervention caused it. So that just leaves fate. But what is fate, and how is it affected by free will?
This week, on the podcast, we’re talking about “Serendipity vs. Synchronicity,”what they are, and whether they are just coincidences or are predestined in some way. We even talk about some very odd synchronicities in our own lives. I don’t want to give any of those stories away, so I’ll just say here that I’ve had some doozies. But I’ve never been able to decide if they are synchronicities – a pure coincidence through which I’ve spotted seemingly related patterns – or if they are destiny – something pre-ordained to happen or a karmic connection that draws people and circumstances together. And still I ask, what is fate? And can a belief in fate exist without a belief in a higher being or some kind of faith?
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, fate is
“...the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.”
So then, believing in fate inherently means believing in a supernatural power, doesn’t it?
But wait…if we can’t have fate without believing in a supernatural power, can we believe in a supernatural power without believing in fate? Doesn’t it seem highly unlikely that some omnipotent being with the power to create all of the universe would just sit idly by and watch it play itself out? Could you do that? So it would seem that if there is a God or gods (or a fully-connected universe) he (she/it) would be compelled to tinker here and there to make sure the grand design actually works as planned. But to what end I might find a dime on the ground just when I need one, I can’t even begin to imagine.
And then there’s coincidence, which I’ve already mentioned as being highly unlikely. There are just too many, and sometimes they are way too specific. But we’ve already theorized that fate can’t happen without some supernatural power pulling the strings, and I get that a lot of people don’t believe in God or any other supernatural power. So then how do we explain these weird bits of things that happen to us just in the nick of time, or that people discover weird connections with new people they meet? How can luck or synchronicity exist in a world comprised of only free will and accidents? If everything is based on free will, why do bad things happen? And if it is all only an accident, are we ever really in control of anything?
I don’t like the idea of not being in control. At the same time, I’m often comforted by the idea that someone else, call it God or the Universe, has at least a little control over things. I like the idea that someone is out there looking out for me, making sure I’m where I am supposed to be, but also giving me enough room to explore and learn, to make my mistakes, and to get a few things right once in a while. I take comfort in believing that some bad things happen purely by chance and are not the result of my own stupidity or carelessness, nor the consequence of spiteful vengeance or some wrathful God’s punishment. So maybe there’s a mix. A little accident, a handful of fate a la divine intervention, and a lifetime of making my own choices, whether for good or for bad. Either way, I think I’ll be celebrating the Serendipities and Synchronicities when they come my way, and if I have to take the blame for a few bad mistakes, well…then at least I probably learned something from it, right?
What do you think? Do you believe in fate? Is serendipity or synchronicity part of a divine plan, or is it just a happy coincidence? Share in the comments below, or post over on the MMC Chat Facebook group.
Cindy Murray is a widow, mother, and grandmother who enjoys nature, good food, and friends. She's an artist, writer, and musician who came from a small town, moved to the big city, and loves to travel. She is the co-founder of Crafty Neighbor, a crafter's resource and events organizer, and the author of Crafty Neighbor's Neighborhood Gossip, a blog about crafting and the crafts industry. Cindy has worked as a travel agent since 2010 and is the owner/founder of Crafty Neighbor Travel. You can find links to all of Cindy's websites, blogs, and social media accounts here: https://linktr.ee/CraftyNeighbor
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| My friend, Stephanie with Christen and me on our first cruise. |
Yesterday’s podcast was about journaling our vacations, a topic I’ve mentioned multiple times on both the podcast and the blog. Loyal listeners and readers have no doubt figured out that this is a near and dear topic for me. All journaling is, really, but I am especially attentive to journaling the events of my travels, and it all took root with a trip that Christen mentioned in the podcast – my first cruise.
That cruise changed a lot of things for me. First and foremost, it birthed a life-long passion for cruising that soon after turned into a change in career. I loved that cruise so much that I couldn’t imagine it being my only one, and I was willing to do just about anything to do it again and again, so I became a travel advisor. And of course, it taught me the value of documenting my experience, which allowed me to include great detail in the scrapbook I made of that trip. It also allowed my traveling companions to do the same.
That first cruise journal wound up being some 19 pages long and almost 5500 words when typed. At one point, I had posted it on the internet on my MySpace account, which has long since been deleted, but it made me wonder if I should post it again…this time on my blog or maybe even on my travel agency website. Just thinking about it compelled me to hunt it down, searching multiple CDs and thumb drives for the original typed documents, just to confirm that it would be possible to post it somewhere if I decided I wanted to do that. And that made me want to read it, so I skimmed through a few pages before dropping the folder on my harddrive for later retrieval.
I love going back to reread my journals. I often read about things I had all but forgotten, and it always makes me smile to remember the fun I had. It encourages me to travel again, and to share my experiences with others as I do. This summer, I have several trips in the works, and I hope to find the time to journal each of them as well. It may not be in the great detail that I journaled that first cruise, but hopefully it will capture the spirit of the trip so that I can look again at it many years down the road and remember what great fun we had. And that’s what life is all about – living it to the fullest and making as many good memories as we can while we can. Hopefully we are preserving them in some way so we can relive them again and again – something wonderful and sweet to bring a smile to our faces and wash the hard parts of life away. We can all use a little bit of that.
For more info on journaling your travels or journaling in general, check out our Heard it on the Podcast where we’ve included links to previous podcasts and blogs on the topic.
Cindy Murray is a widow, mother, and grandmother who enjoys nature, good food, and friends. She's an artist, writer, and musician who came from a small town, moved to the big city, and loves to travel. She is the co-founder of Crafty Neighbor, a crafter's resource and events organizer, and the author of Crafty Neighbor's Neighborhood Gossip, a blog about crafting and the crafts industry. Cindy has worked as a travel agent since 2010 and is the owner/founder of Crafty Neighbor Travel. You can find links to all of Cindy's websites, blogs, and social media accounts here: https://linktr.ee/CraftyNeighbor
Cindy Murray is a widow, mother, and grandmother who enjoys nature, good food, and friends. She's an artist, writer, and musician who came from a small town, moved to the big city, and loves to travel. She is the co-founder of Crafty Neighbor, a crafter's resource and events organizer, and the author of Crafty Neighbor's Neighborhood Gossip, a blog about crafting and the crafts industry. Cindy has worked as a travel agent since 2010 and is the owner/founder of Crafty Neighbor Travel. You can find links to all of Cindy's websites, blogs, and social media accounts here: https://linktr.ee/CraftyNeighbor
This summer the Modern Musings girls are going on a trip! We just booked our hotel in Marfa, Texas and we are so excited to go on this adventure together, just us girls – no husbands, kids, or pets! I typically bring my craft supplies with me and work on a project during the down time in the hotel room. This usually includes my travel journal, a little supply bag with glue, scissors, a pencil, markers, little scraps of paper, washi tape and some ephemera. I may even bring a stamp or two. Oh…and stickers…can’t forget stickers. The list goes on and on…
Actually, the last couple of trips that I have been on, I brought my little scrapbook album and way too many other supplies. I had these grand ideas of scrapbooking on my trip and completing the travel journal as my trip unfolded. I think I brought too much, thus giving myself decision fatigue. Yes, I did spend a little bit of time actually scrapbooking, but what ended up happening was I started a new travel journal and never finished it. This resulted in yet another unfinished project.
I made a resolution to myself to not start any more new projects, though. So thinking back, I actually busted my goal, which is a little disappointing. The plan was to not start anything new. I am slowly but surely knocking off projects, one at a time so there is that. I am really proud of myself for completing some of my projects. This is a big deal for me as I am the queen of not finishing things.
I set a goal and I'm sticking to it this time, though. It might be a little challenging to not do some type of craft while we are on this trip. I may still need to find something to do to keep my hands busy. The projects I am working on are too big to take on a road trip like this. And of course I will still scrapbook this trip, but not at this time. I am going to save the scrapbooking for when I am at home and have all my supplies close at hand. This time around I‘m going to keep it simple by only hand journaling the trip. I am going to bring my small journal, some smooth writing pens and pencils and I will just write my heart out. I can still take pictures; I’m just not going to print them until the time is right.
I think the nice thing about keeping it simple will be no mess to pick up, and less things to lug around. Since we are going on a road trip, we need to get all our things to fit into one car comfortably, and the less I bring, the better for everyone. This means more time can be spent being in the moment with my mom and Amber, relaxing, and creating new memories.
Do you have any summer plans or are you looking forward to getting away sometime soon? Have you thought about what you will bring with you to work on during the down time? Do you have any journaling tips that you can give me? Drop me a message below in the comments.
This week on the podcast, Amber, Christen, and I discussed Disney princesses – more specifically, which Disney princess we might be. I have never considered myself a princess. In fact, my upbringing was far from it. And despite the childhood references to my likeness to Snow White or my name (Cindy) being reminiscent of Cinderella, I really didn’t have that much in common with them. For one, I was not an orphan, nor did I have a wicked stepmother or ugly stepsisters. And there wasn’t a chance in hell that some prince would ever stumble across my path and sweep me off my feet to live happily ever after. Even so, like most young girls of my time, it was something I definitely wished for.
I grew up in rural West Texas, sometimes living in neighboring small towns, but always dirt poor and inherently unhappy. My parents worked, picked favorites among their children (not me), and wasted what little they earned on their own entertainment and comforts. My sister and I didn’t just have chores, we were the housekeeper, the cook, the maid, the babysitter, and the lawn service because my mother was terrible at it and she worked. So heck yeah, I dreamed of a day that I would meet some nice guy who would get me out of there. And guess what? I married the first guy who asked…at the ripe old age of 18.
Needless to say, my rescuer wasn’t exactly a prince, and it wasn’t long before I grew up enough to know he didn’t really save me from anything. It’s taken me the better part of 40 years to figure out I had a lot of things wrong, and that being a princess doesn’t mean you are weak or that you need saving. I’ve learned that a princess can take care of herself and that sometimes she is the one who does the saving.
I think most women have grown up with some concept of the handsome, young prince…the knight in shining armor, coming to save her from a life of drudgery or peril just in the nick of time. The one whose mere kiss can make us swoon or break an evil curse. Our fathers tell us we are a princess, a most valuable prize, and our mothers tell us that the “right one” will make our lives perfect. We are indoctrinated in this idea from birth, and I think, in some ways, our parents still believe that fairytale themselves.
Women aren’t the only victims. While we are waiting and watching, often quite impatiently, for Mr. Perfect, men have grown up with the mistaken belief that they have to do the rescuing. They’ve been brainwashed with the notion that men are the breadwinners, the head of the household, and the main providers for their families. The conditioning is so strong that men often become severely depressed and even suicidal when they lose their job or their careers are upended.
We can’t blame it on Disney, though. Those stories have been told for hundreds, maybe even thousands of years. Women have always been considered the “weaker sex”...a treasure that requires protecting. And maybe, once upon a time, when man first started gathering in small communities, we were. To early man, a woman was treasure…something rare and necessary for the continuation of the tribe. Communities fought, and even killed, over them. Families traded them to other tribes for essential commodities. Powerful men collected them in harems as a display of their wealth and importance. A man who could support a large family and a harem of concubines was important and in control.
Somewhere along the way, that narrative has begun to change. We talked about it a lot on the podcast this past spring…how girls of my generation have gradually learned that we are just as strong as men, that we can do the same jobs as men, and that we really don’t need a man to make us happy. We are learning to be in charge of our own destiny. We happily turn away the misguided knight who offers to save us. We are forging our own armor and blazing our own paths. We know that happiness comes from inside us, not from our value to another person. We are powerful, and because we are standing up to take responsibility for our own safety, men can be free to relax and let their guards down, too. In some ways, it’s even more magical than the fairytales.
I hope that someday this change will mean that gender roles are a thing of the past – an idea reserved for 100-year-old movies and dusty old books. I think Disney is finally starting to get the picture. No more are the heroines just a pretty face. Neither are the princes some clueless dude who can’t remember the girl he danced with or some weirdo who kisses sleeping (or dead) girls. The heroines are smart, skilled, intelligent, and resourceful. And many of the princes are now thoughtful, respectful, and a true partner to the talented lady who sometimes winds up rescuing him. And that’s the way it should be.
So I say, don’t worry about which Disney princess you are or which prince might come to save you. Get out of that ridiculous ballgown and go save yourself! I guarantee that someone much better than the prince will see how strong and beautiful you really are and will be more than happy to share a wonderful life with you – a life from which you won’t need saving.
Cindy Murray is a widow, mother, and grandmother who enjoys nature, good food, and friends. She's an artist, writer, and musician who came from a small town, moved to the big city, and loves to travel. She is the co-founder of Crafty Neighbor, a crafter's resource and events organizer, and the author of Crafty Neighbor's Neighborhood Gossip, a blog about crafting and the crafts industry. Cindy has worked as a travel agent since 2010 and is the owner/founder of Crafty Neighbor Travel. You can find links to all of Cindy's websites, blogs, and social media accounts here: https://linktr.ee/CraftyNeighbor
Cindy Murray is a widow, mother, and grandmother who enjoys nature, good food, and friends. She's an artist, writer, and musician who came from a small town, moved to the big city, and loves to travel. She is the co-founder of Crafty Neighbor, a crafter's resource and events organizer, and the author of Crafty Neighbor's Neighborhood Gossip, a blog about crafting and the crafts industry. Cindy has worked as a travel agent since 2010 and is the owner/founder of Crafty Neighbor Travel. You can find links to all of Cindy's websites, blogs, and social media accounts here: https://linktr.ee/CraftyNeighbor
Last Monday, I blew off a doctor’s appointment so I could sleep in. And not just any doctor…it was my cardiologist. That sounds terrible, doesn’t it? We all know we should go to the doctor regularly, but there’s something that we dread about doing it. I don’t know anyone who wants to go to the doctor. Do you?
I once complained to my therapist that I was tired of having to go to so many doctors’ appointments. She promptly scolded and corrected me with, “You get to go to the doctor so you can take care of your health. This is a good thing.” Perspective won that argument. I reluctantly agreed that she was right, and since then, I’ve tried to remind myself of that conversation any time I feel inconvenienced by anything health related. It mostly works.
The sad thing is that I wasn’t feeling inconvenienced by this particular appointment, in fact, I was looking forward to a follow-up that would confirm that my previous issues had been caused by a change in medication that was rectified quickly and that I haven’t really had that problem since. My only complaint was that the appointment was at 9 AM on Monday, which is a day and time I would have never scheduled if I had been allowed to choose (and why wasn’t I allowed to choose?). Monday’s are one of my busiest days of the week because it is not only my cleaning and laundry day, but it is also my first day back to work after the weekend, and there is always a ton of work to be done, emails to answer, and phone calls to make. Even still, I was all set to go, and I set my alarm for the crack of dawn so I could get there in time.
But when my alarm went off Monday morning at 6:30 AM, after I’d had a busy weekend with very little rest and only 2 ½ hours sleep Sunday night, I just could not face getting out of bed, running through my morning routine, and then spending an hour in morning rush-hour traffic. I wasn’t even sure I could stay awake enough to drive. So I killed the alarm, tried to leave a voicemail to let them know I wasn’t coming, and promptly fell back asleep until almost 1:00 PM. I guess I really needed that sleep.
Afterward, I did not feel particularly guilty about missing the appointment. It happens sometimes. And in this case, I think that catching up on my sleep was a lot better for my heart than a stressful drive when I’m exhausted. The doctor will still be there next week, the week after, or the week after that…that sleep was necessary “now”.
Do I advocate missing doctor’s appointments? Not at all. I have seen hard evidence of what happens to someone who ignores symptoms, refuses to go to a doctor, and/or rejects a doctor’s advice. More than one of those people eventually died because of it. All because they didn’t want to face what the doctor might (or did) say. They didn’t want to know the truth. They tried to pretend nothing was wrong because they thought the treatment was worse than the disease, or maybe they just didn’t think they could afford it. Maybe they went to a doctor who didn’t take their concerns seriously enough so they never went back or went for a second opinion.
Whatever the case, finding the right doctor is the most important part of treatment, tied equally with just getting there in the first place. Whatever the circumstance, finding a doctor that you trust is the key, because when you trust your doctor, you’re more likely to show up, listen to their advice, and do what they tell you to do. And part of finding the right doctor for you means knowing what kinds of doctors there are, which can be confusing on the best of days. And that’s why this week’s podcast is all about doctors – “M.D.s vs. D.O.s: What’s the Difference?” I hope you’ll join us. Even Christen, Amber, and I learned a few things.
“Modern Musings: Conversations with the Maiden, Mother, and Crone” is available on PodBean, Google, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Watch for our episode about doctors airing Wednesday, May 24, 2023.
We are three women who love to write and have great conversations. Join our weekly podcast where we discuss various topics in deeper learning, spirituality, and living healthier and more fulfilling lives.
We are so excited to celebrate the publication of our 100th episode this past Wednesday! Thanks for listening, and thanks for stopping by to read our blog!
Cindy Murray is a widow, mother, and grandmother who enjoys nature, good food, and friends. She's an artist, writer, and musician who came from a small town, moved to the big city, and loves to travel. She is the co-founder of Crafty Neighbor, a crafter's resource and events organizer, and the author of Crafty Neighbor's Neighborhood Gossip, a blog about crafting and the crafts industry. Cindy has worked as a travel agent since 2010 and is the owner/founder of Crafty Neighbor Travel. You can find links to all of Cindy's websites, blogs, and social media accounts here: https://linktr.ee/CraftyNeighbor
