We like to talk. Amber, Christen, and I can strike up a conversation about almost anything. We have a lot of opinions, often very different, and we’re not afraid to speak them out loud. We enjoy those conversations that dive off into “god knows where” and we often have to reel ourselves back into the topic at hand. Maybe it’s annoying, maybe it’s charming, but it’s really just who we are…three ladies who’ve lived very different lives and aren’t afraid to share our truths with the world.
In case you haven’t noticed, our conversations often start out as innocuous comments about such inane things as peanut butter, celebrity crushes, and Star Wars vs. Star Trek, but the zany foolishness doesn’t last for long because one of us almost always has something to say that brings us back down to earth – something deep and meaningful or thought-provoking – a point to ponder or a lesson to be learned. Star Wars vs. Star Trek conjured up thoughts about social issues and the timeless struggle between good and evil. Celebrity crushes turned towards the morality of a “hall pass”. I think the peanut butter episode even had some mentions of peanut allergies and alternatives. So, it should be no surprise that our next episode, “Mani vs. Pedi: There Can Be Only One”, which drops Wednesday, is no different.
The premise of the episode is that many of us routinely get both treatments, but what would we choose if we could only have one of them? I won’t spoil the conclusions, but suffice it to say that we talk about why we have often chosen only one or the other, certain things to look out for in a salon, and even a bit about our need (or lack) of trust in the professionals we allow to perform these services. Thinking about that as I prepared to write this blog, I realized that these side-trips in our conversations are often allegories for other, more important things in our lives, and offer a real-world opportunity to closely examine some of our core beliefs – to do a little shadow work.
As I considered the difficulty I have in trusting cosmetology professionals (including both hairdressers and nail techs), I realized that I often have a deep-rooted struggle with trusting anyone due to hardship and trauma from my past. This wasn’t a new revelation…I know I have trouble trusting people close to me. What I hadn’t considered is that this distrust extends far beyond my intimate peers to encompass pretty much everything in my life – even the smallest, unimportant things. It’s why I drive defensively on the freeway. It’s why I take copious notes on phone calls with business associates, clients, and doctors. It is also why I insist on being the one to make plans and organize events. It makes me a bit of a control freak (okay, complete and total). Learning to let go of that control has been a huge struggle for me, but it is also necessary for my growth. I cannot live a life of light in the now or banish the demons of my shadow self without addressing the need to let go of control once in a while. I cannot let go of control unless I can learn to trust.
Learning to recognize that lack of trust in my daily life, especially when it’s not important, is the lesson of our Mani-Pedi podcast for me, but it’s not the only lesson in that episode. Like all the other episodes before it, and surely all the episodes to follow, there is always some little nugget of inspiration, epiphany, or clarity available there for anyone who takes the time and opens their mind to the deeper meaning. I think that’s true about everything in life. Every action and every thought is rooted deep in our psyche. “Why do I do this?” “Why do I feel that?” Our every function is profoundly shaded by things in our past of which we may not even be aware. Learning to perceive that influence on even the smallest and insignificant facets of our life is a significant step in healing…and in being in, oddly enough, control of your life.
I was [TODAY] years old when I realized that my lack of trust makes me the control freak that I am and steals my ability to live a life of light in the now. What did you learn?
No comments:
Post a Comment