The Ego. It’s something we’ve mentioned often on the podcast since we read Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth.” We all have one. The ego is what convinces us that we can drive a mile or two over the speed limit or sail through that yellow traffic light right as it turns red. Sometimes, it justifies our decision to grab the last cupcake in the break room, even though we already had one, or even to reward ourselves with an indulgent treat just because we made it through a tough work day. We deserve it, right? Our ego makes us believe that we know better than others, can do things our way, or can ignore the rules. The sad thing is that our ego is almost never right. All the little things we do that our ego assures us are “okay” really only accomplish one thing – making us feel like we are better than others. In short, it just makes us arrogant.
This was the concept that landed in my lap one Saturday afternoon while I pulled out of my driveway, and it stuck with me for weeks afterward. The radio was on and it was playing one of those investing shows. I thought I knew which one it was, but I’ve not been able to confirm it. The show was not something I would normally listen to, but I had started backing out before I changed the radio station to the one I listen to on the weekend. By the time I got out of the drive and started moving forward, the host had dropped this little nugget:
“You are different. The rules don’t apply. You know better.”
He was talking about people who try to “game” the system in an attempt to “get rich” quicker. The host went on to say that this attitude is “arrogance” and arrogant people usually blame others (or the system) when things don’t work in their favor. I was intrigued, so I listened to his rant and I realized that this concept applies to many things. Sometimes, the most profound thoughts can emerge from the most obscure and unrelated places. That was what happened here.
This was something akin to a glitter bomb, because when it went off, it threw little bits of sparkly magic onto everything, and I started looking at things I was doing in a different light. It was everywhere, and I realized I have this attitude a lot. I tend to drive a little over the speed limit rather than under it. I sometimes speed up if the light turns yellow, rather than slow down. I’ll kick up my home A/C to a frigid level for an hour or two if I’m hot and hubby already went to bed. I don’t rinse out my recycling before tossing it in the bin. I’m different. The rules don’t apply. I know better. I’m gaming the system.
I think we all do it to some extent, but in different ways. We let our ego convince us that we can lose weight without following the diet the doctor gave us, or that we can be strong and healthy without getting any exercise. Maybe we believe that we can pay off our credit cards and get out of debt while we are still feeding that revolving cycle of credit with unnecessary, impulsive purchases. Or we can still wear that size 12 dress when we are clearly a size 14.
I don’t like to think of myself as a cheat, but that’s exactly what it is. When thinking about my worst habits for yesterday’s podcast, I knew instantly that this one was mine. I push the limits on everything. I try to get there faster. I cram as much into my day as possible. I convince myself that I can do more, spend less, eat more, and get fit…all without putting in the effort that is required to make it happen. And I don’t blame my own choices when it doesn’t work. It’s a cop-out. It’s a cheat. And I am arrogant to think that it should be any other way.
They say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. This one is mine. Now I just need to figure out the next step. I’m ready to kick this bad habit.
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