For me, this time of year is crunch time – December almost always finds me deep in wrapping up the current year by finishing out unmet goals, setting up my planners for the coming year, and doing a lot of ritual exercises that help me narrow down what’s important to me and the goals I want to set going forward. In addition to going on a crafting retreat with my besties, trying to get my Christmas tree set up and the house decorated, checking off my gift list (including any handmade items I’m working on), baking cookies, candies, and everything in between. Usually, the one thing I usually am not doing is trying to pick out my next Word of the Year, which you may have heard us refer to as One Little Word.
My word usually comes to me around October with a solid landing right in my lap that says, “Hey! You know I’m the word for you, right?” But this year has been very different. This year is the second anniversary of the last holidays we spent with my husband, Mark, and the first time we’ve tried to get back to a “normal” routine, whatever that may be. It’s been a struggle. In fact, I think this fall has been even harder than last year and the grief has deepened as his loss has truly begun to sink in. It’s been a tumultuous fall on top of that, with multiple misfortunes including a refrigerator that had to be replaced and costly repairs to both of my vehicles that have zapped both my patience and my pocketbook. I haven’t had much time to think about my 2025 word, “Okay”, much less start thinking about 2026. I even mentioned as much on this week’s episode of the podcast. Luckily, I had a plan.
Over the course of the year, whenever a good word came to mind, I would jot it down in a little notebook I carry to make note of all things connected to my word. By the end of November, I had 20 words on a list that were all good candidates for my next word. I decided that the best way to pick among them was to hash out each word in my journal so that by the time I had done them all, hopefully something would stick out as the clear choice. It did, and I was really glad I used the process the way I did because it helped me figure out what I really needed. I’ve decided to share it here in hopes that it might help someone else hash out their own list of words in the same way. The following is my internal debate about each of my words, and what I chose.
Joy: I think joy would be a fun word to have. Not too hard, but still stretching myself to find joy wherever I am at the moment. I have gone through the process of being here, now, in the present and of being and finding light. Because of those words, I learned I needed more balance and I am working on being okay. I feel safe most of the time. Isn’t that the first rule or step in Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs?* I know I have not always felt safe, so maybe that is another word to look into. But joy calls me in a way that I can’t explain. I do have fun sometimes, but joy feels so much more spontaneous. It is also fleeting. You can’t have a constant state of joy, can you?
Love: Going back to Maslow’s Hierarchy, I see that love is right in the middle between safety and esteem. That makes sense because you can’t feel self-esteem if you don’t feel loved. I would like to work on feeling loved, but I think that choosing this word requires looking at it from both directions and the other side of it is giving love. While I certainly do both give and receive love, it is tricky because it is hard to love properly without self-esteem, and it is impossible to feel self-esteem without feeling loved. It is a double-edged sword because they are so intricately tied to each other. This one is definitely a consideration because it is a word I need to explore, but it would not be an easy word. I really did want something fun and easy for 2026.
Accept: Acceptance is the opposite of resentment. It’s definitely something I should work on. It would also be a hard word just because I need to work on it. Acceptance definitely flows from now, but it feels like a separate branch. Acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm – Eckhart Tolle’s Three Modalities of Enlightened Doing. I do want to take on this word someday, but not right now. I am not ready for it. I am still growing and still exploring, and I am not ready to accept the status quo until I fully understand what the status actually is. I’m not even sure who I am most days. So if I don’t understand who, what, where, how, and why I am, then could I ever learn to accept it?
Open: I love this word because it feels like someone who is ready for whatever comes next. That is definitely somewhere I want to be in my journey, but, once again, not quite yet. I think that before I can be open to new things (love, adventure, acceptance, joy…), I need to close out a few tabs that are still open. I need to make room for new things. What is it they say? “You can’t ride in every direction at the same time,” right? And that’s the way I feel right now - that I’m being pulled in multiple directions at the same time and there is so much going on in my life that I can’t focus on anything new. I don’t have space in my life to be open to new things. I need to focus on the status quo. Perhaps in time this word will be a wonderful addition to my repertoire.
Content: Content is a lot like accept. In order to be content, you have to accept what is. I’m getting there, and I think someday i will get there, but I feel like I’m not quite ready. I think I have to work through accept first. Maybe even something like this: Accept >> Content >> Open >> Love >> Joy. That feels like a proper order. But there is so much I need to do before I can get to accept. So, content is not ready to be my word.
Whole: What a loaded word! I want to feel whole. In fact, that is what a lot of my shadow work is about – regaining my sense of self…putting all the shattered pieces of my psyche and my life back together in one piece. I know I am not there yet. Maybe once I select this as my word, if I select this as my word, I will be. But something tells me there is a lot more work to do before I can truly become whole. Accept would likely come before. Maybe others, too.
Trust: Trust would be another good word to work on before I go to whole. I have a lot of trust issues – mainly because my life experience has taught me that the people whom I should trust the most have been the ones who are the least trustworthy. Abuse and neglect will do that to you. I’ve been let down by adults who were supposed to protect me and prioritize my well-being, including my parents, grandparents, the school system, churches, and more. I can’t name a single person alive today whom I fully trust because everyone has either abandoned me, used me, abused me, lied to me, or let me down in some way. That is some real deep, dark shadow work to dig into there. So trust is right out. Maybe in about 10 years if the other words work out.
Yes: No. I only toyed with this word for a hot minute. I remember Felicitas from One Little Word chose yes one year and it seemed like an amazing journey for her. I would love to have yes as a word, but it flows from open and maybe even from trust, but I am not there yet. I am too overwhelmed by everything else in my life to add the possibility of more. I need to do less. To take care of my current circumstances. Yes is definitely a no.
Creative: Creative is a word I could get behind. I want more than anything to have more creativity and more creative time in my life. I feel so inspired by all the things I see, hear, and feel. I want to do. I want to express it in every form imaginable. But I don’t have time. Taking on the word create would be the equivalent of the word yes. It would mean adding more and I just don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with it. So, while this word is very tempting, I think I should put it on the shelf a little while longer.
Flow: Flow…smooth…transition…progress…relaxed…no stress. Doesn’t it sound idyllic? It makes me think of the peace in a good yoga practice or the progress of a river or stream. Movement. Gentle movement. Right now, my life has so much chaos that I can’t even imagine a state of flow. No, that’s not right. I can imagine it, but it doesn’t seem at all possible. Earlier in the year, I thought it might be the perfect companion to okay and I was almost certain it would be my next word. But this year has not progressed the way I hoped it would. Okay has meant that I’m barely hanging on – barely getting by – not the positive affirmation of a life well in hand like I’d hoped it would be. I’m not driving this bus right now, and I just want to get off because it is more like the movie “Speed” than a relaxing river cruise.
Perspective: Perspective is everything, isn’t it? When you look at things with fresh eyes, everything changes. Negativity becomes opportunity, stagnation becomes rest. Overwhelm becomes a clear path. Clarity comes from perspective and over the last few years, I have tried to practice viewing my life and circumstances with the aid of perspective. It has been a good companion to many of my words, whether I realized it at the time or not. This could easily be a word I choose, but if I do not, it can still be a good companion word. A new perspective is often what I need most.
Purpose: What is life without purpose? It feels like an endless drifting from one task to another without any meaning. I have felt like that for a long time. I suppose my purpose when the kids were young was to raise them well. When they were grown, I felt a small amount of purpose in working on my relationship with Mark and organizing cruises and craft events. But that felt shallow and I always believed there should be something more. I started to actively seek my purpose in the early days of this decade, but then life swung a wicked left hook and I found myself barely getting by as we dealt with COVID, my mother, Koy, and then Mark. If we go back to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, we know that we cannot have or find purpose if we are just struggling to survive. I am still somewhere in the middle of that scale, and while our Modern Musings podcast and blogs are fulfilling and help to give me self-worth, I still need to work on the middle steps before I can actualize my purpose.
Family:This is another of those fully-loaded words. It pairs with whole, trust, and love. It makes my heart swell when I think of my children and all the people I love. It also brings me down to my darkest lows when I think of all the people who let me down, shrugged me off, and left me to be buried chin deep in soul-crushing fear, isolation, and desperation. I keep trying to build a close knit family where we can talk about our problems, come to one another for help, accept each other as we are, but also learn from each other – listening to advice and growing into better people. But the more time that passes, the more distance there is between us. Maybe they just have their own lives to lead, but despite my being okay, I am not good and I do still need love, understanding, help, and companionship from my family. I’d like to work on that. I just don’t know how successful I will be if my family is not willing to cooperate.
Travel: Oh, how I wish my life consisted of going off to explore new places and then coming back home to embrace the serenity of my own refuge. I keep trying, but travel creates such chaos before and after, and I haven’t quite figured out how to make it more systematic and structured. I want to travel. I want to explore the world, both near and far. But I don’t want it to disrupt life, house, and home in the process. I would also love to have someone (or many someones) to travel with, and I struggle with that. Is it the same problem as my family issue? I can’t even seem to get anyone to go when I offer to pay for it. So travel would be a fun word to have, right there with joy, open, and content. I don’t think I can fully embrace this word until I work through a lot of other things first. I can still travel, and I fully intend to, but I don’t want to go all in until I am comfortable and can trust being on my own if necessary.
Go: If ever there was a word of action, go is it. It is the opposite of be, still, relax, and accept. It also runs a bit counter to content and flow. I’m not really sure why this word crept into my list, and although it fits smoothly with travel, it feels counter to what I need right now, which is to regroup, gain perspective, slow down, analyze, get in alignment, and flow with life. I can’t do shadow work or take the time to figure out what I really want in life if I am always on the go. So, go is a word for later. For a time when I know who I am. When I have clear goals and an adventure mindset. Not now.
Do: Likewise, do is sometimes the twin of go. It requires action, movement, and purpose. It would be unwise to just go and do without a plan, a destination, or intention, and as I’ve already mentioned, I lack this at the moment. In fact, I feel like that is what I have been doing for the past two years (or more) – just moving on auto-pilot, going here and there, reacting to whatever crisis is at hand. Putting out fires, rebounding from letdowns and catastrophes, and wading through the chaos that eternally abounds. If I am going to do, I want to do so with purpose – with intent. This will not be possible until I can get out from under the madness and mayhem that has been suffocating me for years.
Be: That brings me to be. In all my complaints about doing and going without purpose and wanting to find acceptance and contentment, you might think my word should be be. That, perhaps, in the stillness of not doing and going, I could find my purpose and perspective, or that being open and saying yes to what is would be exactly what I need. But it is not so. I could have no peace or rest while the chaos still surrounds me. There is so much yet to be done, and I don’t think I can move on physically or emotionally until I address it.
Safe: The second level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs is safety. I have mentioned previously that I have struggled with feeling safe most of my life. I am constantly in a state of waiting for the other shoe to drop. For someone who has been traumatized by abuse and neglect, the fear of what might come next is very real, and it leaves you in a state of chronic stress. When there is abundance, you fear losing it. Happiness is always tempered by worry. There is no trust in anyone or anything because everyone and everything you have ever trusted in has hurt you – often intentionally. You feel powerless. People think I am strong. They tell me so. But I am not. My strength is all for show – a display to ward off predators. I am trying to grow towards strength and safety, but for now, I think there may be other ways to get there.
Start: I recently changed my daily affirmation to “Start. Focus. Finish.” It has been a great affirmation for me because, often, what holds me back is just starting something. I am so overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done that I become paralyzed by the indecision of where to start. I’ve been trying to remind myself that the best way to start is to just start. As writers have creative blocks and artists stare at a blank canvas, so too do I struggle with making the first move. But the advice to all is the same – just do it. Write a word, even if it’s wrong – you can always come back and edit. Make a mark on the canvas – even if you eventually cover it up. Likewise, I must force myself to just get up and do one thing – even if I sit back down again, at least I have started. So yes, start is a good word and I have so many projects I want to tackle, and all it really takes is for me to take that first step – to just start.
Finish: Starting projects is always exciting, but the most satisfying thing to do is to finish them. I’ve long since lost count of the unfinished projects piled up in my craft room and garage and overflowing into other areas of my house. I once started a list to catalog them much as Christen described in one of our podcast episodes. But even that was daunting. I look at these projects and I think to myself, “How wonderful it would be if this were done.” My task or creation would be complete and I could enjoy it. It would free up space and eliminate clutter. It would give me a sense of accomplishment – a win – to keep me motivated and to help me feel confident about myself. There are so many reasons to finish these projects and to choose finish as my word would be a constant reminder and motivator to keep at it.
This is why I believe that “Finish” is the perfect word for me in 2026. I do not need to start new things (although I probably will). What I need is the discipline to finish the things that I start – whatever that may be. I am hoping that following through to the finish will give me self-confidence to tackle some of the bigger issues in my life and move on to the place where I can feel safe and trust others, so I can feel whole and content, and I can love others well. That will give me the courage to say “yes”, to feeling open and creative, and see the world with a different perspective. That will bring joy, acceptance, and flow, and I will be able to find my purpose, travel, go, and do without being a burden to my family.
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs states that you must meet the following needs in this order: physical, safety, love, esteem, self-actualization. I always seem to be stuck in the first two or three levels.
1 "Maslow's hierarchy of needs," Wikipedia, last modified December 16, 2025, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs
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