Conversations with the Maiden, Mother, and Crone

Looking at ourselves and the world through the lens of the 21st century.

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

Heard it on the Podcast - August 27, 2025

  

 
 
Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

27-AUG-2025
S5E35: All About Ice Cream

It's summer, and we're hot, so we're talking about our all-time favorite summer dessert -- ice cream. We're dishing on soft-serve versus hard-pack, all the flavors, toppings, and even a little psychology for the cherry on top.

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Here are the links from this episode:


Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

Monday, August 25, 2025

Food for Thought

 

This week, our podcast centers around ice cream, and we take a fun and imaginative dive into everything from our favorite flavors and brands to what those flavors say about our personalities and even how ice cream is a great metaphor for goal-setting. I didn’t want to bore you with more of the same, so I thought I’d look at it from a different perspective. As I was typing up this week’s Heard it on the Podcast post, I needed to create a recipe for one of my family’s favorite flavors of homemade ice cream. I’ve made this recipe for years (since I was in high school!), but I never really thought about sharing the list of ingredients with my family and guests before they ate it. I started to wonder if maybe I should.


The recipe in question is for Butterfinger Ice Cream, a dairy and egg-loaded concoction laced with peanut butter and chocolate. In other words, an allergic reaction waiting to happen. On top of that, the recipe is based on my grandmother’s base recipe, which used raw eggs, something we are often warned about due to the risk of salmonella. Now let me assure you that in 40+ years of making and serving this ice cream to hordes of friends and family, no one (to my knowledge) has ever had an allergic reaction or gotten sick in any way. Whew! But as I typed up the recipe, I decided to add a disclaimer about the eggs, which prompted me to do a little research on how to make the recipe safer (which I also added). The recipe made me think of several other times when I’ve made dishes that should have had warning labels.


The first incident I recall was during a house party more than 20 years ago. Neighbors and friends gathered for Memorial Day, Labor Day, or a similar celebration. My neighbor, Todd, had brought over some deep-fried alligator tail that everyone was noshing on when another friend asked, “What kind of oil did you fry it in?” Of course, the go-to oil for deep-frying around here is always peanut oil because it has a high smoke point and it doesn’t impart a lot of flavor to the food like some oils can. We were all shocked when our friend stated that her son couldn’t eat it because he was allergic to peanuts. Wait! What?! 


This was major news to all of us, as she continued to reveal that he had always had a peanut allergy. What’s worse is that I had been feeding this child my home cooking regularly for 5-6 years, including peanut butter sandwiches and other treats as well as homemade cookies, cakes, and dinners cooked with, you guessed it, peanuts and peanut oil. It’s a wonder that I didn’t kill the kid! Now you’ve probably heard the saying, “God looks out for little children and fools.” I’m not sure who was the bigger fool, me, who was cooking everything in an undisclosed allergen, or his parents, who never bothered to tell us about his peanut allergy.


Years later, I happened to have a friend who converted to Messianic Judaism. This religious group adheres to the traditional dietary laws against consuming non-kosher foods.  Our group of friends often shared a potluck dinner, but I had never thought about providing warnings about pork, shellfish, or other foods until she mentioned it one day. After that, I always tried to remember to list the ingredients for the dishes I brought, just in case. I don’t think anyone else did, and I don’t know if my friend was careful about what she ate, but I would have felt terribly guilty if I had caused her to break her religious edicts unknowingly. Not to mention that shellfish, chicken, and other foods are known allergens. 


I’ve always been very careful about making sure meat is properly cooked and everyone in my kitchen has clean hands and uses proper cooking and cleaning techniques. I’ve often asked guests about likes and dislikes when planning meals, and I’ve learned to ask about common food allergies. I am immensely thankful that no one has ever gotten sick from food that I cooked (as far as I know), but I’m back to that question about where the responsibility lies. Is it up to the host/cook to make sure that everyone knows every ingredient in the meal? Or is it up to the person who’s eating it? When a person with allergies is invited for a meal, should they alert the cook ahead of time? I think it's certainly the parents’ responsibility to alert the caregiver about any potential issues for children with food allergies. Still, it seems a bit ridiculous for a potluck with potentially dozens of different cooks. I don’t think there’s any one right answer, but it has certainly made me more aware of the risks involved. Hopefully, it’s given you something to think about, too.


Thursday, August 21, 2025

No One Can Tell Your Story Better Than You

 

“My grandmother made me a scrapbook because I was once too young to remember; I am making scrapbooks for my family because one day I may be too old to remember.” – Unknown.


It’s no secret that I love to scrapbook – Christen and I have been touting the virtues of documenting and memory-keeping since our very first episode in November 2021, when we told you about December Daily. Since then, we have specifically addressed the topic of memory keeping six more times (including yesterday), and have broached the subject in various other episodes as well.


So why all the fuss about sticking photos on paper and writing down a few notes about it? As I mentioned in the podcast, the photos and stories that we preserve for future generations are clues to who we are and where we come from. Yes, we scrapbook to help us remember our lives (and believe me, we do forget), but also so that future generations can learn about our lives, too. 


My scrapbooks are particularly precious to me these days because I have preserved photos and stories of so many people I have lost, including my father, my sister, an aunt, several friends, and, of course, my husband, Mark, who passed a little over a year ago. I love that I can flip through these books and relive the stories that made me laugh and cry. Even more importantly, many of those stories were told by Mark, and I listen for his voice whenever I read them. 


I know that many people mistakenly believe that no one is interested in their stories, but I am here to tell you that it’s just not true. Every story matters. Even some of the most mundane daily routines become fascinating when they are recounted through the lens of time. Learning about how my great-grandmother picked cotton and how she and her family survived the Spanish Flu pandemic in 1918 gave me a glimpse into what life must have been like for her – something I would never have known if my grandmother hadn’t asked her to write it all down. Did you ever read the Diary of Anne Frank? Her accounts of the daily lives of herself and her family while they were in hiding during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands are known around the world.


A few years ago, while talking about all the places I have lived and how many times I have moved, Christen told me I should write them all down – to document them. She was right. Many of the places I have lived don’t even exist today. Some of the homes I have lived in have been bulldozed, one burned to the ground, and who knows what condition some of the others are in. My father and sister are dead, and my mother has dementia, so the only other person who shares my life history is my brother, and he is younger, so he doesn’t have the same memories as me. No one else can tell my story better than I can.


I’ve talked about scrapbooks specifically, but I wanted to share with you a few different ways to document your stories. On the podcast, I mentioned Project Life and My Modern Story, and I’ve documented in every type of way you can imagine, including 12” x 12” traditional scrapbooks, mini albums, traveler’s notebooks, and more. I’ve linked several things I mentioned in the podcast on our Heard it on the Podcast post this week, but here are a few video flip-throughs and photos to give you some ideas for how you can document your life, too.


Here are two Project Life (pocket pages) I snapped for my Instagram account:


Those pocket pages weren’t actually in pockets, of course (easier to photograph outside of the pockets), but you see how they are laid out. It's a fun way to document a whole week at once.


These are a few pages from the COVID journal I kept during the pandemic. 

You can see more of my scrapbooking and memory-keeping projects by scrolling through my Instagram account or on my YouTube account here:  


Cindy M - Crafty Neighbor


No one else can tell your story better than you. Don’t leave your stories to be forgotten by later generations. Your family may not care much about it now, but later, when they are older, when you are gone, they will appreciate very much whatever you’ve been able to leave for them. It doesn’t matter how you preserve the stories…only that you do.


“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else's survival guide” ― Brene Brown.


Wednesday, August 20, 2025

Heard it on the Podcast - August 20, 2025

 

 
 
Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

20-AUG-2025
S5E34: Project Life

What is Project Life, and why do Christen and Cindy think it is important? What will happen to your family stories when you are gone?
Here are the links from this episode:


Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

 

Wednesday, August 13, 2025

Heard it on the Podcast - August 13, 2025

 

 
 
Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

13-AUG-2025
S5E33: NAME

Did Dante get it right when he described nine levels of hell in his epic poem? How relevant are his ideas to the world we live in today? What level would you be in?

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Here are the links from this episode:


Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

Wednesday, August 6, 2025

Heard it on the Podcast - August 6, 2025

 

 
 
Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

6-AUG-2025
S5E32: Better With it or Without?

Everyone has their preferences—whether it's butter on your popcorn or poetry with or without rhymes. In this episode of Modern Musings, we kick things off with some lighthearted 'better with' or 'better without' debates. But true to our style, the conversation soon dives beneath the surface, exploring how these preferences echo in deeper social and cultural issues.

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Sorry, there are no links to this week's podcast, but please check out our blogs here: Modern Musings Blog

Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

Thursday, July 31, 2025

Stop Telling People They’re Too Much (Or Not Enough)

 

Whenever we do a personality quiz on the podcast, I am never surprised by the results. For that matter, neither are Christen and Amber. I’ve found that the personality topics we’ve covered (Clutter Bug, Enneagram, and this week’s Myers-Briggs) all seem to point to the same thing – I am an Idealist…a Perfectionist…a Reformer, and those assessments would be correct.  I am the type of person who wants to make things “right,” whatever that might mean. I look at the world and somehow see that this or that would be so much better “if only….” Which is not to say that those things aren’t perfectly alright just the way they are. I just happen to see the potential. After all, there is always room for improvement, right?


In June, I wrote “I am What I am…” in an attempt to defend myself against accusations that my natural tendencies are somehow wrong – that my instinct to help others better themselves is not only unwanted, but also somehow offensive, and that I needed to change. Those allegations hurt me, and I spent weeks picking apart my relationships with friends and family to see if I had been overstepping or just offering up what people seemed to want and expect of me. I am, after all, the matriarch of our family, the inferred leader of my peer group, and the “Crone” of the Modern Musings podcast. In my view, there’s a great deal of implied wisdom in those labels, and with wisdom comes the duty to share it liberally.


I’d also like to point out that, for most of my life, other people have brought their problems to me. Whether they are asking for advice or simply want a sympathetic ear, I cannot know for sure, but I have always offered my advice freely, so I must assume people want to hear it, or they wouldn’t share their problems with me in the first place. I am who I am, and they know that is what I do. Besides, what good is a friend who can see the answer or the truth but doesn’t tell you? I treasure the advice that other people give me, even if I don’t follow through on it, mainly because I respect their opinions. I know they have my best interests at heart, but also because their opposing viewpoint allows me to look at the situation from another perspective. Looking at a situation through their eyes might even help me solidify my original view. People give me advice all the time. I can take it or leave it. Why is it so bad if I offer the same?


Another way to approach this conundrum is to consider a few other personality types. If the Perfectionist/Reformer needs to stop trying to reform and perfect things, then should the Enneagram Type 2 Giver stop trying to find ways to be helpful to be liked, or should the Type 3 Achiever stop worrying about their public image and quit trying to impress everyone? What about the Type 7 Enthusiast? If their personality type makes them seek out fun and adventure to avoid emotional pain, then does that mean they should stop having fun and just face their sadness? While the impulse might be to answer “yes,” it’s really not that simple. 


The truth is, people are who they are. Our personalities are shaped by a combination of genetics and life experiences. Our personalities change with time, as demonstrated by the evolution of my Myers-Briggs ENFP result from premarital counseling in 1988 into an ESTJ and the INFJ that I am today. This is especially true of growth-minded individuals who actively work to better themselves and heal trauma. So, while I may currently be a Myers-Briggs Advocate/Idealist, chances are that all my “perfecting” and “advocating” with my friends and family may be one of the ways I work through perfecting and advocating in my own life, and if I continue to face my shadows and dig deep into what makes me tick, I might begin to shift my personality yet again.


Similarly, when the Enneagram’s Giver learns that they don’t have to give everything to be liked, and the Achiever finds that they can be their true, authentic self without losing the respect of others, then they, too, will begin a shift into other personality types. The Enthusiast has but to slow down and face their demons to grow beyond the superficial life of novelty and adventure. It doesn’t mean they won’t enjoy those things anymore, and it doesn’t mean that any of these personalities become anything less – it means they can become something even more.


When we tell people to be less than who they truly are, when we ask people to tone down their tendencies or change themselves to make ourselves feel more comfortable, then we are telling them that they aren’t enough. Or that they are too much. We are saying more about who we are than about anything they are doing. When we offer advice, it should always be to lift someone up and make them more.  We should never ask them to change outright or be less. It’s a fine line, but I’m pretty sure the Advocate-Idealist-Perfectionist-Reformer will be the first one to try. I just hope that recipients can learn to listen to the message, if not the messenger.


Wednesday, July 30, 2025

Heard it on the Podcast - July 30, 2025

 
 
Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

30-JUL-2025
S5E31: Myers-Briggs Personality Types

After diving into countless personality quizzes, we finally tackle the big one: the Myers-Briggs Personality Types. In this episode, we break down our results, compare notes, and reflect on how accurate (or not) the MBTI feels after everything else we've tried. It's self-discovery meets skepticism—with a dash of fun.

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Here are the links from this episode:


Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

 

Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Heard it on the Podcast - July 23, 2025

 

 
 
Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

23-JUL-2025
S5E30: Summerween

We've all heard of Christmas in July, but what the heck is Summerween? We can't wait to find out!

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Here are the links from this episode:


Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Heard it on the Podcast - July 16, 2025

 

 
 
Did you miss a link we mentioned on the podcast? Here's a quick post we'll do every Wednesday to share any links or information from the podcast. We'll also keep a running post on the "Links from the Podcast" tab so you can refer back to any previous episode. 

16-JUL-2025
S5E29: Dream Road Trips

Summer has given us the travel bug, so we're talking about all the drivable destinations on our bucket lists, plus a few favorite things we like to pack.

Listen to the podcast:   HERE

Here are the links from this episode:


Don't forget to visit our Facebook group, MMC Chat. Let us know what you think! 

5 Ways to Manifest Your Best Life

Hi there, and welcome back! Since we have been heavily focusing on goals and planning, I thought we should discuss manifesting. I love this ...